shutta300 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Tonight my ex talked to my bro and told him that there was no chance of my ex and I getting back together. Also I had sent her a letter right after she broke up with me saying that I respected her decision and I told her hoe I felt about everything. She said to my bro that I only wrote all that stuff cuz its what she wanted to hear. Basically telling him I didnt mean anything I wrote. So I got upset and txt her for the first time in almost 3 weeks saying how much it hurt that she didnt think I meant any of what I wrote. So I explained to her again everything and she said I should have told her this when she was unhappy and upset. That we could have worked it out. She said she will always care about me and that she wants to talk to me as a friend. That she doesnt want me out of her life but she thinks its best just as friends. So I told her that I care and have too many feelings for her to be just friends. That it would kill me to see her with someone else. Then she replied back asking me so I would rather not have her in my life than to have her as a friend? I never replied back to this cuz how could I be friends with someone I love a lot more than just friends... Any advice on what to do????
BarbecueMan666 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 I think you've been more than clear from what you've wrote, she's still going through the motions too by the sounds of it - not believing what you initially wrote in the letter etc. Going back to friends from any relationship takes a lot of time. If she doesn't understand that then :S.
Thunderchild Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 She's a "cake eater" - trying to have her cake and eat it. If you said you couldn't be friends because it hurt too much then she should have accepted/respected that rather than try to 'press' (ie guilt) you into 'friensdship'. If she was unhappy in the relationship then why wasn't SHE talking to you about it?? Unless you are some wierd freak with an ability to read minds, then how would you know how she felt?? She is as much responsible for maintaining the relationship as you are. SHE failed to talk to you - her fault! If she is trying to demonise you - "you never really loved me" and "why didn't you say...." etc, she may be trying to rationalise some of her own bad behaviour that she is unwilling to face up to. Go No Contact and get her out of your life - pronto!
Author shutta300 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 I haven't even replied to her last txt and I don't really plan to. There were some things she said that made her unhappy and even though I tried to correct them she told me it was to late that she couldn't turn around how she felt. Am I wrong for thinking that if she loved me the fact I even told her how I was really feeling should have been enough to wanrrant at least an attempt to work things out. Regardless of when I told her. Which was in the letter I wrote her a couple days after she broke up with me.
SharkTooth Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 I think when you start the NC stage of the BU the last communication should be a lasting thought of how you felt. That's it. You have clearly said how you felt and now it's time for you to get busy moving on. You tried to set things straight with her and defend your feelings in the letter. I'm willing to bet that this is the way you have always been when she didn't think you were being honest. So in her eyes, you are the exactly the same guy. The ex has an agenda and part of that may have been to have you as a friend. Now you have screwed that portion up to an extent and she might reflect back on the text, letter, or how ever you communicated your feelings. At least you were honest and forthright and most decent people appreciate that. You shared things that only a hand full of people she will know in her life shared. She will certainly think about you. It may not be today, or a month from now, but she will. In the mean time, and this is the hardest part, you have to focus on yourself. You have to get to that place where you make yourself happy. Women and men are drawn to happy positive people. It's human nature.
Author shutta300 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 I am working on myself. I do love her with all my heart but that I guess was only me.I was willing to do anything to be with her and she decided to not even try and work things out. That hurts a lot.
Author shutta300 Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 So basically the concensus is that I should not reply back to the last txt, start nc, and just let her go.. I really do love her with all my heart and it will hurt to do it. I will let her go and move on as much as I don't want to its probably best.
Recommended Posts