Kimbra Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Mine told me four months after we broke up that he was engaged to someone else. They married later that same year. I would never marry someone so quickly. I am glad I never did with him. LoL. I wonder how she would feel if she knew that he had sent me a text two months before hand saying that he loved me. I ignored it of course. It still baffles me though. He cuts hair for a living and she did hair dressing down the road from where he worked while he was still living with me. It does not take much to work out the rest. .
Soxfaninfl Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Yes, it would have bothered me because that person that I was with was ****ing around behind my back. I've been cheated on, so I know what it feels like. It sucks!
Author Kimbra Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) Biggest mistake of my life getting with that guy. At least it only lasted a year. Just feel stupid that I ignored all the red flags when I was with him. Especially knowing that he had cheated on someone in the past. That was always in the back of my mind but I still stayed. . The worst was when it was my birthday and he and I were out at lunch. He ended up leaving me to 'go pay a bill' but he was gone for ages. I ended up sitting there feeling like an idiot, waiting for him, for almost an hour and ended up having lunch on my own. If only I had sent a angry text and left when I had finished lunch. Grr. I wish I had followed him because his now wife just worked down the road from there. That is probably where he was! He claims he was visiting his workmates so I could not say anything. On Christmas Day he completely ignored me the whole day. I cut Christmas short with my family to go spend it with his but he never acknowledged me once the whole time I was there. I borrowed his phone to check my Facebook (mine was flat and charging inside his Mum's place) and he snapped at me saying I was looking at his texts and numbers. I never looked at anything! Logged straight off his Facebook and went onto mine! I get fed up. Chucked the phone at him swearing under my breath. I was already angry that he was ignoring me all day. Could not help myself. He ends up dumping me not long after. I did not think that, that was that big of a deal. LoL. Oh well. Lesson learnt. Not to take any more bull**** from men! . Edited March 8, 2013 by Kimbra
Soxfaninfl Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Biggest mistake of my life getting with that guy. At least it only lasted a year. Just feel stupid that I ignored all the red flags when I was with him. Especially knowing that he had cheated on someone in the past. That was always in the back of my mind but I still stayed. . The worst was when it was my birthday and he and I were out at lunch. He ended up leaving me to 'go pay a bill' but he was gone for ages. I ended up sitting there feeling like an idiot, waiting for him, for almost an hour and ended up having lunch on my own. If only I had sent a angry text and left when I had finished lunch. Grr. I wish I had followed him because his now wife just worked down the road from there. That is probably where he was! He claims he was visiting his workmates so I could not say anything. On Christmas Day he completely ignored me the whole day. I cut Christmas short with my family to go spend it with his but he never acknowledged me once the whole time I was there. I borrowed his phone to check my Facebook and he snapped at me saying I was looking at his texts and numbers. I never looked at anything! Logged straight off his Facebook and went onto mine! I get fed up. Chuck the phone at him swearing under my breath. I was already angry that he was ignoring me all day. Could not help myself. He ends up dumping me not long after. Oh well. Lesson learnt. Not to take any more bull**** from men! . Once a cheater always a cheater. That is a red flag for me now. I've never cheated when I've been with someone. I was with my ex wife for 13 years and never strayed even when things were bad. All you can do is learn from this and weed out losers like your ex in the future. I can't believe of all days to do it on he did it to on your birthday. What a piece of crap! I feel bad for his new wife. He'll probably cheat on her too when their relationship starts to have problems. 1
xpaperxcutx Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 If you end up dating cheaters and players, its usually because your radar is off and you don't want to see the red flags even when it's dangling in front of you. If it helps you might want to make a mental note of all the things the guy did, just like what you wrote here. Honestly it doesn't make you stupid but just know that because you have experienced and been through mistakes, it's best you remind yourself of your worth and why you shouldn't accept certain behaviors. Also, from now on, avoid being so passive when you know you're being treated like a door mat. Stand up for yourself. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Would you care if you found out your ex cheated on you after you broke up? Do you mean that I discovered he had been cheating before we broke up - after we broke up, or do you mean I discovered he was with someone else shortly after we broke up - and it had probably been planned that way before we broke up? Either way, I give a damn about the screwing around. I can't abide lies and deceit though.
CudLRoo Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I'd be pretty butthurt by it. I'm weird, I never want to hurt my exes, it'd cause ME pain for doing so but you get all these people who pull stunts like THIS, I don't understand why you needed to have it rubbed in your face. Anyway, he was a hairdresser. You know what they say about hairdressers? Not being prejudiss or anything. But life is odd. 1
amaysngrace Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Why would you care if you were cheated on if you weren't with them anymore? Seems like more reason to be glad it's over. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 She would have stayed with him anyway and married him.
ltjg45 Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 Before I broke up? Maybe. After I broke up? Nah. In fact, I would be glad to hear of it because I made the right decision in ending the relationship to begin with.
Author Kimbra Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 (edited) iKING I also think that it was a bullet successfully dodged! Just still annoyed at myself that I even got too involved in the first place. He was a financial burden as well. That in itself tells me that I am better off on my own. I was just to blind to see it before. Heck. Have more money to myself now then I ever did living with him. His wife is Korean. Do Korean girls who move to 'Western countries' so to speak have and make more money? Amaysngrace Believe me I am glad it is over. Just feel like a fool for getting sucked in, in the first place. Ninjainpajamas Do you reckon their marriage will last long? It would be interesting to see in a few years. I wonder if she knew half the stuff I knew about him before marrying him. ltjg45 After the break up. All it proved to me was that I right about him all along. Even predicted in my head that when moving to the City he might stray to a Asian girl over there. Amazed that my instincts were right about that. Just a was just a random sub conscious thought I had one day. Should have listened to my gut more. Being much more careful with guys in the future from now on that is for sure! Edited March 9, 2013 by Kimbra
Sugarkane Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 It bothers/ annoys me when people lie and cheat, yet still end up marrying someone else/ moving on before you. Ouch. That hurts. 1
carhill Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 As more information became available post-divorce, my response was 'meh'. I had processed everything and indifference was the result. TBH, very little surprises me anymore. Occasionally, it's annoying but mostly it's 'next'.
Author Kimbra Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) Sugarkane I know! That is what ****s me the most. He took me for granted and used me out of convenience. Yet he is the one who comes out on top! Gets everything he has ever wanted while I am still stuck being single. Where is the karma train when you need it? I feel like I was the one that got the worst of it when all I ever did was help the guy the whole time he was with me. . Forehead slap! . Carhill I don't get surprised easily anymore either. Just more baffled by the whole thing. Like I said in the above response. All I ever did was help the guy and got **** all for it. Hell. I was the main reason why we moved to a different City which is where he met his now wife. Go figure! Yes. Lessons learnt the hard way. A 'next' is definitely in order. Edited March 10, 2013 by Kimbra
Hopeful30 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Couldn't care less. One guy that I dated for nearly 2 years cheated on me the entire time and I only found out a few years later. I don't see why I would care. I'm done with him and it's the past. I've moved on from him so whatever he did back then doesn't matter because I dumped him either way. If anything it just confirms that I did the right thing. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Sugarkane I know! That is what ****s me the most. He took me for granted and used me out of convenience. Yet he is the one who comes out on top! Gets everything he has ever wanted while I am still stuck being single. Where is the karma train when you need it? I feel like I was the one that got the worst of it when all I ever did was help the guy the whole time he was with me. . Forehead slap! . Oh so you're the decider of all things balanced in his life by comparing his equally to yours? I get what you're saying...or feeling more like it, however remember that a guy who cheats is a guy with issues, he carries around a mess of problems dragging behind himself and the chance of this "marriage" even working out is not likely...he will probably even cheat again, now is she the lucky one? is he the lucky one to drag someone else through it...and then of course another girl like you through it? hardly. Worry about yourself and don't compare your life to some cheating BF in the past, learn from the experience and don't be stupid and ignore the red flags listening to your "feelings" when your gut told you something was wrong, that should be the biggest lesson. Couldn't care less. One guy that I dated for nearly 2 years cheated on me the entire time and I only found out a few years later. I don't see why I would care. I'm done with him and it's the past. I've moved on from him so whatever he did back then doesn't matter because I dumped him either way. If anything it just confirms that I did the right thing. Everybody cares because they always take cheating personal...as if the world only revolves around you and your feelings...but it's good you do not care and have the right attitude towards moving forward. However saying that you dumped him either way, and you did the "right" thing after the guy cheated on you for two years....is not much of a dump....you were basically used until you wouldn't be used anymore. So try and understand the power and choices you have here, instead of just pointing the finger at one guy...nobody can use you if you don't let them and isn't giving you what you need in return...I see far too many get that whole woman power "next" strut going on, only to fall in the hands of another guy similar to the one she just "got over" a while ago. So don't just go about everything the same exact way...keep your eyes open and learn to protect yourself instead of play the victim. Be accountable and responsible for your own, not some guy who doesn't even care much about it.
Author Kimbra Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) Oh so you're the decider of all things balanced in his life by comparing his equally to yours? I get what you're saying... or feeling more like it, however remember that a guy who cheats is a guy with issues, he carries around a mess of problems dragging behind himself and the chance of this "marriage" even working out is not likely...he will probably even cheat again, now is she the lucky one? is he the lucky one to drag someone else through it... and then of course another girl like you through it? hardly. Worry about yourself and don't compare your life to some cheating BF in the past, learn from the experience and don't be stupid and ignore the red flags listening to your "feelings" when your gut told you something was wrong, that should be the biggest lesson. Feeling is more like it. I am not comparing my life to his. I have a pretty good life (besides the non existent love life, just have the worst luck with guys and wanna take a bit of a break from all the male bull**** I seem to end up getting and make sure I am ready before jumping back into the dating game, especially the learning part and not making the same mistakes again). Actually find it less stressful being single these days. LoL. Just hate how good things happen to bad people who don't deserve it. I wonder if the wife even knew half the bad stuff in his life from his past that I did before she married him. That should have been another 'red flag' while I was dating him right there and then and pushed that aside as well. My sister told me off about that after we broke up. How I should have spoke up and saw what he was really like after hearing certain stuff he mentioned about himself. Yes. Lesson learnt. Yes. This year is the year I am looking after myself more. That's for sure. Edited March 10, 2013 by Kimbra
Hopeful30 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 However saying that you dumped him either way, and you did the "right" thing after the guy cheated on you for two years....is not much of a dump....you were basically used until you wouldn't be used anymore. So try and understand the power and choices you have here, instead of just pointing the finger at one guy...nobody can use you if you don't let them and isn't giving you what you need in return...I see far too many get that whole woman power "next" strut going on, only to fall in the hands of another guy similar to the one she just "got over" a while ago. So don't just go about everything the same exact way...keep your eyes open and learn to protect yourself instead of play the victim. Be accountable and responsible for your own, not some guy who doesn't even care much about it. I didn't know I was being "used" at the time. I broke up with him for entirely different reasons. Either way, I don't see why it should matter now. I never understood people who would dwell on these things. You've moved forward regardless.
sabre80 Posted March 11, 2013 Posted March 11, 2013 My ex wife of 9 years cheated on me. . . a bunch. It was devastating to me at the time (over 2 years ago). But now I am at a point in my life where I feel grateful that she cheated on me. She was a miserable person. My values prevent me from ending a marriage save for certain situations. So if she had not cheated on me I would have still be stuck with a miserable woman and would have never met my current girl who is a thousand times the woman.
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