drakewrites Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 So I've been posting a lot on and off about my past ex-girlfriend, on here, on reddit, everywhere, pretty much. I won't post any links this time, but basically, there was just too much drama. My ex had a friend that she was far more loyal to, and I learned the hard way (by testing the limits) that she would basically choose her over me. I did some things wrong, she did some things wrong, and we ended up breaking up. For WEEKS I've been going over it, over and over and over, posting everywhere online, asking for advice, trying to figure out what actually happened. Today I spoke to her for the first time in a few weeks, and she found out that I had taken a girl out on a date while we were broken up. It wasn't a big deal, just dinner and a movie, and nothing happened. But my ex mentioned to me that this girl was more of "my type"; that she liked to read, we had similar hobbies, dressed like how I like girls to dress, etc. When she told me that I would choose this other girl if she had liked me back (she didn't), I didn't know what to say. She was right. 100% right. This other girl asked me about my new novel I wrote the first day we hung out, asking if she could read it. She is insanely cute, just my type. And she is far easier to get along with. I realized that yes, I actually WOULD rather be with this girl. It kind of dawned on me that I should stop obsessing over my ex so much, wondering if I should get her back, etc, because the truth is, is that she WOULD be second best for me. I hate to say it, and it's sad, but it's true. So now I've had a shift in perspective on dating. Should I be only going after the girls that I would be crazy about? If I have a type, "Cute, likes to read novels, compassionate, kind, dresses girly..." should I only go after that type? The thing is, is if that girl I took out on a date DID like me back, I would be with her right now, if she wanted to be. And I probably wouldn't even be looking back. And if another hot girl came up to me, I would say, "Sorry, I've found my #1 girl." But if I was with my ex, and this other girl I took out on a date asked me how I felt about her, well... I would be in a ****ty situation, lol. What do you guys think about this? Is it okay to only go after JUST the kind of people you like? Or should you be more open to dating anyone? I feel like such an ******* now, because truthfully, I would rather be with this other girl, and I think I kept obsessing over my ex because I'd rather not be alone and be with someone I can "get along with," thus, settling.
ja123 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 It kind of dawned on me that I should stop obsessing over my ex so much, wondering if I should get her back, etc, because the truth is, is that she WOULD be second best for me. Your question is if you should settle for your second best. Your ex is your second best. So what do you think the answer is?
ja123 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 This other girl asked me about my new novel I wrote ... Now we know why you like drama! You write novels!
Author drakewrites Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 Now we know why you like drama! You write novels! BAHAHA #sotrue
Author drakewrites Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 HeHeHe I like a guy who can laugh at himself!!! Haha, I have to be able to laugh at myself if I'm going to be happy in this life.
meeji Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 To answer your question, I think that going after one type of girl works for some people but i prefer to be open-minded about who I'm dating. Sometimes we judge a book by its over and what inside isn't what we would have ever expected. You have many flavors to choose from. Try them all and then go for what you like. There isn't a formula for dating. The more open minded you are, the more options you have. The harder you search for something the harder it is to find it. Sometimes, you fall in love when you least expect and it happens when you don't even realized its happening. Anything that feels forces is probably not the right choice for you. If it feels natural then go for it.
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