Author CryForNoOne Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 But this sounds like what I said is true - I said you don't want the girls that want you for yourself. You were bored by them and you ended those relationships. Isn't that pretty much what you just wrote (bolded emphasis mine)? Yes, NOW you're Mr. Callous and you're attracting girls who didn't want you before. You changed up your game, and lo and behold, now you attract a different type of person. That's hardly mysterious, it's human nature. But why seek answers in the behavior of these women? It's not about them; it's about you. Most of the women who wanted to be with you liked you for you. You didn't want them. That's why I say that the problem isn't the ladies - it's you. I'm just being blunt. You're the one who doesn't know what he wants. You're getting lots of "you go boys" for pulling in the 20-year-olds, which is fine and legal and everything, but you yourself write that you don't want them either, not really. You like that they want you, but that's not the same thing. It's just an ego boost, and presumably a less guilt-ridden one than lingering in an LTR with women who genuinely care about you and so you know you're going to hurt when you leave. I don't know; your challenge is to figure this out, of course, if you want it to be different. There's only this one exception - this ONE girl who you feel you were yourself with and she didn't want you then. I mean, that sucks, but dood. We've ALL been there. This is hardly gender specific. Who hasn't felt like they like someone SO MUCH and why oh why doesn't she like me back it's wrooooooooooooonnnnnnnngggggg... I think you need to get this person out of your head or you'll just remain emotionally unavailable to anyone else. She's not the ONE, because she doesn't want you back. It really is as simple as that. I agree with everything you said, especially the bold, except that I do know what I want. But as long as she maintains contact with the occasional flirtatious text message, I can't let it go. It also does not help that I live 5 blocks away from where she works, and walk past it almost every night I go out. It's an albatross. I now take a different path so she doesn't see me and think I'm stalking. My friends want to go there a few nights ago and I shot it down...
RedRobin Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 (edited) So I'm willing to do some self-reflection here but I really don't see what I've done that is so wrong? In the world of "Freeloaders, Renters, and Buyers"... you are mostly a freeloader... maybe once or twice you've been a "renter"... Problem is, the truly special and most attractive women out there are "Buyers"... and you've never been one and don't act like one now. You think the emotionally healthy, attractive, nerd types you'd prefer haven't seen a bazillion guys with your MO cross their path? Especially ones your age? There are pics of you in the dictionary next to "Middle-age crisis". Edited: Just saw the post about you living in LA. It all makes sense now. SO GLAD my parents moved us away from southern CA when we were kids... Edited March 12, 2013 by RedRobin
hppr Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 I never said that! Don't feed her, she's just a hater. Best thing to do is just shine her on. 1
Author CryForNoOne Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 In the world of "Freeloaders, Renters, and Buyers"... you are mostly a freeloader... maybe once or twice you've been a "renter"... Problem is, the truly special and most attractive women out there are "Buyers"... and you've never been one and don't act like one now. Seems like you're defining freeloaders, renters, and buyers by their available options. I've been in 4 LTRs that spanned over 15 years and resulted in being proposed to 3 times. I did not emotionally invest into most of those relationships because I did not see them as the "one". I limited my options because of insecurity / fear of rejection etc.. So what about every male or female, the overwhelming majority on this forum BTW, that cry about some dating anxiety that most people figured out in HS? Are they all automatically freeloaders? I didn't stay in my past relationships because I was a deadbeat. I was scared. Call it mid-life crisis but I decided to take action and become a buyer. You see me as a freeloader or renter. Why, because now I have lots of girls interested in me it's a SIN to flirt with them? I haven't had casual sex with any of them, nor am I trying to. I've being single 18 months and I've dated about 30 girls and decided not to "freeload" with any of them. I met one girl I REALLY liked and had a couple of fantastic dates with her (feeling was mutual) and then it went cold. So now she's automatically a buyer swatting off loser freeloaders like me? Spare me...
Author CryForNoOne Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 (edited) It was filled with men who didnt look like models and were pretty average yet they all expected an insanely hot woman. I never want to date someone who has ridiculous beauty standards...shows how much weight they put on looks and that aint my cup of tea. LA in general sucks ass for women and dating. All of my friends I had there that moved to other places instantly had guys lining up to be their boyfriend Funny, most of the guys I know say the same exact thing about women in LA. Really the bottom line is when every other good looking person from the mid west or east coast moves out here to become a star, you get a ton of good looking people that make the competition across the board much stiffer. Then you get a whole bunch of people seeing it everywhere and thinking they can get in on it too. Leads to a lot of unhappy people, but it's really no different than anywhere else. I laugh when people claim they hate LA people. Most of them are transplants from somewhere else. The most real people I know in LA are the native Los Angeleans... Edited March 12, 2013 by CryForNoOne
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