SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 I was dumped through a text message. He never wanted to talk about it but said he would eventually. Now it's been months and he still won't speak to me. Still hasn't really given me any closure or clue to what he is feeling. Just a little vague answer from weeks ago that I practically had to beg out of him. Anyone else relate here? How long was your relationship? Or is there a worse way to have someone break up with you?
stevie_23 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 It's a cowardly way to leave someone, that's for sure, and more common than I ever would have imagined. I was with my ex for almost 2 years (we were in an affair situation, very long distance and online / text / phone contact). Deeply in love. His wife found out about us 3 times over the course of our relationship and then she found out for a 4th time and he disappeared. I didn't know she'd found out again. I just didn't hear from him. We used to be in almost constant contact every single day and then...nothing. I thought he might be mad at me. I sent him emails and texts and left worried voicemail messages on his phone. 8 days went by and still nothing. I felt like I was in a nightmare and that I'd had half of my soul ripped away from me. I had started checking on a website he goes on (songwriting forum) and he'd been posting on there during this time so he hadn't DIED or anything obviously. I saw then on day 8 that he had posted a new song he'd written. And the first words were "It's done"....and then I knew we were over. THAT was how I found out. After 8 days of just NOTHING. 2 days later (after I had sent him about 20 messages through that forum begging him to just TALK to me) he finally sent me a message, explaining how his wife had found out, he'd had to throw his phone away, not check his emails, etc. He said he couldn't do it anymore, and blah blah. But it took him THAT long to TELL me, and he NEVER would have if I hadn't kept trying to find out what was going on. *shaking head*
adelia Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 My ex just vanished only to pop up again. I didn't chase after him because it hurt me so bad and I felt so humiliated. I did get over it but I was so insulted that he would do that to me. Then have the audacity to pop up again and start where we left off. He quickly knew that wasn't going to happen. During that time he was missing a switch went off and I lost all romantic feeling for him. He sent me pics of himself and I felt nothing. I never knew that could happen but it has. We are friends still but not what you'd call close friends that confide in one another. I did tell him what he did was wrong and he shouldve respected me enough to talk to me and say he needed space.
McDonald Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 My ex couldnt even tell me she was breaking up with me... she said we had to talk over text... then after her beating around the bush I had to ask "are you breaking up with me, yes or no?.." she said yes It was the worst. Couldnt even tell me.
emmalynro Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 I think it's unacceptable no matter what, but is probably more common among relationships that are less than two months or, say, four dates or so. On the other hand, it's so outrageously callous that I would take it as the universe helping you dodge a bullet. 2
Compromize Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 My ex has broken up with me over text, e-mail, on the phone and in person! I am just so tired of chasing after her. The funny thing is she chased after me in the beginning of the relationship. To many details to post here but once she had me it was touch and go the whole time. Ours was a semi long-distance relationship so a majority of it was by text and on the phone. Never doing that again! It's not worth it unless your SO is in the Military or something honorable like that. To many times where texts were miss-read by both of us and arguments ensued. Is there anything as pathetic as a texting argument? Are we really reduced to a relationship with words on a screen?!!!! I will never have another relationship where I can't look my woman in her beautiful eyes and talk to her for 90% of the relationship communication. Texting sours relationships if it is the bulk of the daily communication. Only makes sense why a majority of the dumping takes place through this medium. Just my (almost) worthless 2 pennies.
Coping Vortex Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Yes. I have to say I was shocked. I hadn't just seen hours before. We hung out Christmas shopping. Later that night I got the "we need to talk" text.
Ordinaryday Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 No, but believe it or not I WOULD HAVE PREFERRED IT! one girl who dumped me about a year ago, she texted me at 9am on a saturday morning asking if I was free to go out for the day. we went out, spent about three hours together having what I thought was a great time and at the end of it she dropped the "let's just be friends" line on me, catching me offguard. I 110% would have preferred if she just texted me saying she didnt want to see me anymore because then I would have just ignored the text, never responded to her, and she would have always wondered why I did not give her the courtesy of a response! And for the record, her "let's just be friends" offer was crap - she never contacted me again after she dumped me, like a 'friend' would, I never heard a word for her again
Ordinaryday Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 And I don't get why people say it is unacceptable??? If someone wants to dump me that is their choice, so why would I prefer them to do it by text? well if they dump me then I HAVE NO DESIRE TO REMAIN IN CONTACT WITH THEM, and I don't want to have a heart to heart chat with them about it which I fear is what they would attempt with a face to face meeting. Much better to just get a text that you can ignore.
Thunderchild Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 (edited) Many years ago - when mobile phones were the size of automobiles - I was dumped over the 'phone. I got the famous "It's not you, it's me" baloney. Gutless piece of cr*p. No respect. She asked if we could be "....friends" I told her "Yes -when you've earned my trust and respect again" Never heard from her again to this day, nearly 30 years later. Another woman dumped me over I.M. I could see where the conversation was leading. It was a LDR and she had met someone closer to home, most likely sh*gging him for a while, despite her denials. I asked if it was over (between us) to which she replied that it was. Just said "Goodbye" and never contacted her again. Most recent ex did dump me to my face - but, made a big issue of it. Having cheated on me (after 5 year relationship), gotten pregnant by the other guy and strung me on for two months before telling me, she made a big song and dance about 'telling you to your face'. GTF outta my life, you b*tch!! I rejected her half-assed apology and told her to go. Edited March 8, 2013 by Thunderchild
MyAngel Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I was dumped via email. Yep, it hurts. Still. After three months. 1
RiceaRoni Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 yep after almost 2 years together one day we are having a convo via text and he texts me randomly "We need a break" shocked me so much at first I thought it was a joke.
Bando89 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 My ex did this to time, but I have morals and I started telling her that two mature persons, at 23, should at least watch themselves in the eyes if they have to break up. It's a matter of respect. Se told me that she didn't want, that it was bull**** and other bad things. In the end we met and she was terribly bitter (arriving and saying: 'come on, fast and painless') but at least I got a mature closing.
Harradin Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I got dumped through email, that wasn't written by her but by the "friend" who she left me for. I was stunned. She then had the cheek to tell me she did nothing wrong and how dare me to have a go at her.
lovelifexx Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I had an 8 month relationship with a guy, last 2 months LDR. He broke up with me on chat, but said he couldn't tell me why he wanted to break up. He couldn't understand his feelings. Then he just ignored me. I heard from him a year later. He apologized for the way he broke up with me and said I didn't deserve how horribly he treated me in the end.
radinna82 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 I got broken up with out of the blue via Facebook message. When I called her on it, she said it was my problem and she could do it any way she wanted. She never allowed me to have any closure..complete lack of care and respect.
na49 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Yes it was over text/phone/facebook. but in her defense, she wanted to wait until after a class we had together to do it in person. I was the one who asked for her to do it right away. In my defense I wasn't expecting her to tell me what she told me. Didn't make the pill any easier to swallow though.
destroyed4sho Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 It's a cowardly way to leave someone, that's for sure, and more common than I ever would have imagined. I was with my ex for almost 2 years (we were in an affair situation, very long distance and online / text / phone contact). Deeply in love. His wife found out about us 3 times over the course of our relationship and then she found out for a 4th time and he disappeared. I didn't know she'd found out again. I just didn't hear from him. We used to be in almost constant contact every single day and then...nothing. I thought he might be mad at me. I sent him emails and texts and left worried voicemail messages on his phone. 8 days went by and still nothing. I felt like I was in a nightmare and that I'd had half of my soul ripped away from me. I had started checking on a website he goes on (songwriting forum) and he'd been posting on there during this time so he hadn't DIED or anything obviously. I saw then on day 8 that he had posted a new song he'd written. And the first words were "It's done"....and then I knew we were over. THAT was how I found out. After 8 days of just NOTHING. 2 days later (after I had sent him about 20 messages through that forum begging him to just TALK to me) he finally sent me a message, explaining how his wife had found out, he'd had to throw his phone away, not check his emails, etc. He said he couldn't do it anymore, and blah blah. But it took him THAT long to TELL me, and he NEVER would have if I hadn't kept trying to find out what was going on. *shaking head* This scenario is worse than someone breaking up over text because they never even had the decency to tell you through any communication channel. So your left worrying about them. Are they ok? What happened? Should I go to their house and knock on their door?? And there are so many ways to get into contact with someone even if you had to throw out your fone, not checking emails, etc. That's a bummer...something similar happened to me in the past where someone just disappeared but my relationship with them was not serious so it didn't bother me much.
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