twingem2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 I need help coping with the fact that my marriage is REALLY over.For so many months my husband would leave saying he needed time and then come back saying he couldnt live without me. Now he's left and I cant take him back for any reason because he's now he's in another intimate relationship with someone else and that's something I can't forgive. Loving him hurts so much right now and I can't even look him the face. I haven't told our children anything yet but my five year old keeps crying for her dad and I just hold her because Iknow her hurt. How do I get over this and move on with my life and at the same time help our children heal??????Please respond with loving care and open advice Thank You
wildflower02 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 HI I can only imagine how you must feel. You story reminded me all to much of a situation i am in. I have just been on and off with my ex 2 yrs, ( 1 yr on and the 2nd off and on, (more off) and I am hurting now so much myself because I had to draw the line yesterday and just really end it for good. Just like you I had been listening to my man say or show through actions that he can't be in th erelationship and then later coming back and saying how he never loved someone so much, that he thinkgs about me everyday, and that I am the only one who really ever understood him, etc. Well my heart was completely RE broken when he told me that he had met another girl at work who he really had been connecting with. I never anticipated this coming and didnt think I would feel as bad as I do right now when i made the decision to take another chance with him. I had taken chances before and gotten through just fine. I know I can handle this but I am regreting letting him into my heart AGAIN> My ex and the girl dated for a couple weeks and he said he has developed strong feelings for her, but they decided it wasnt a good time for either one of them to get involved. So you might be wondering why I was back in his life. Well he called me in to his life a few nights ago in desperate need of support as he has been in a deep depression and suffering from panic attacks. He had sounded more aeful than I have ever heard or seen him before. I came to his rescue knowing I was takinga chance with my heart but he just sounded like he needed someone so badly. Of course deep down I always wanted things for us to work out and for our love to be enough but it never has been enough. Anyway we had a very intimate night and the a day later I asked if he had been seeing anyone because I had my suspicions. He said he had been but he wasnt devoted. Now i understood why he kept saying how ****ed up he was, and what an assohle he was, and how he didn't deserve me. He's suffering agreat deal of remorse and I know he's hurting just as much as me, actually a lot more. I know I can move on from him. I have been almost successful in the past. I have come realyl close and then i give into easy. NOw I have to stay strong, because i cant keep putting myself through this. LOVE is so strong and its so hard to override it but someone I must do it. So for you I think you need to be very strong and keep your distance, set your limits and stick with them. Develop a plan of action and be prepared for when he comes back to you . As for your children, I am not sure what to say because i do not have any childrem and would not feel comfortable making any suggestions. I just know that if you love them and support them , they will turn out to be well adjusted young adults. Children persevere and with unconditional love and support they are sure to be just fine. I can say this as I work with DSS kids and the things they go through are just heart wrenching but they still have light inside them and with love and support do okay. I hope this helps.
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