Struggling After Blind Sided Break!

[The_Empress]

Was with him for 1/5 yrs, we lived together for much of that time. Had an argument about 6 weeks before he left. I caught him smoking pot, and to some it's no big deal, but I am a stay at home Mom, who assisted him on work. He made $86k a year, and when he crashed his new company truck, we had to pay for repair, cause he couldn't pass a drug test. I told him when we met that doesn't fly, cause I hate that kinda' stuff, and have kids. After 2 days of ditching me with his parents, he returned home... Said he was sorry, and we moved on with little issue.

Well on 2/22 he never came home from work! Everything had been fine between us the week leading up, except for a hic-cup 8 days before over him not working when he was supposed to. Otherwise, was a great day prior. I got him a puppy, he had asked for a dog for a year, as his birthday was coming. Dinner with the family went great, and we were intimate (TMI, LOL) and I rubbed his head to sleep at 10pm, as he told me "it was great to be the king, and he loved me".

He taught me to draw plans, as the newest form of the job, I put in 23 hours on those plans, and he felt a lot of stress relief because they were getting done, while he still focused on other details at work. We even planned future wedding invites, and what we were wearing. I say all this cause, it has replayed in my mind so many times. I never saw this coming, I was supposed to plan a baby with the Gyno this month. I had 3 kids prior, they've lived with us since last summer.

He walked in the next day, after not coming home from work.. I figured he fell asleep at a friend's house he was set to visit. He did go, but then went straight to his parents... No calls, nothing. When he walked in early the next morning, he was packing... Said he was leaving his OWN house, and I could stay a week, or a year, he was selling our home! Then his family started attacking me. Calls, visits, more calls, raiding my house as if we were having a fire sale! I had one hope... he never took his clothes.. My car left, my mic and speaker, router, guitars... But not his clothes!

I was so desperate, but knew not to go near him... He seemed like he lost his mind, like a robot. Not the singing, joking, man of my dreams... An emotionless robot! He steered so far from me, you'd think I had tried to kill him or something. Any time I saw him, he was assisted by a family member. I was unable to have any type of conversation, I never knew what happened???

I lay in our bed for a week, broken, sobbing, envisioning him as I turned over. I was trying to figure out how I could live without someone, I NEVER thought I would lose! This seems impossible!

I had an out pour of people, friends, family, even people who hardly knew me came to comfort me from every angle. I wanted to sing so bad, to ease my pain, but my mic was gone, I had no outlet, but my bed.

It's been about 2 weeks, I am still in the house, and things are horrible with our situation, no contact, no negotiations. Him refusing to sign the title to my car, and me refusing to leave what has been my home, and my kids home for 1.5 years. They go to school on our corner, as he signed them in Nov 20th, 5 months ago... and denied it! Denied I ever paid into the house, or cars. Denies I worked for him, and when I spoke to his insane mother last night, was told he plotted this for a month! They keep saying it's over, it's over... All because I defended myself from being lied to and he costed us $500 for the repairs, risked losing his job, and my respect! WOW!

2 weeks ago today... I had a 3 bedroom house, 3 kids, a Benz, a second car for my oldest to drive, his work truck, a table where I served my family, a new puppy being cuddled, and named "Bella" by her new Daddy, and the greatest love I ever known... Today, I have a car that can't pass inspection, a need to move out or go to war in court, a civil suit for unpaid wages, kids being moved to another school after 5 months, and 3 kids watching there mother struggle to eat, or even get dressed. I can not believe how painful this is, my divorce was a picnic compared to this! My whole life has changed, and I didn't even get a reason, WHY? I try to see ahead, I am trying to buy a new truck, that's been impossible cause he won't sign the title, unless I leave. We're trying to work, but afraid driving there could end us up a trip in handcuffs for driving a stolen car! He has been completely memory wiped by his mother. He hates my guts! I started therapy 3 weeks ago for coping with my heart condition. This angered him as he was afraid "The therapist would tell me to leave him!" Thank God I did, cause what was to be maybe every other week therapy, I now tap my foot waiting to get called in. My kids need their Mom back, and yet my heart is shattered! I am considering getting a shattered King's crown tattoo... But waiting in case I come to my senses! I called him "My King", he called me "The_Empress". I told him that is how he made me feel.. Like an Empress... He replied one time saying, it is over! I have a water globle from him, it says "RoseAnne, you are my Empress, and I will love you forever - Love Michael... I wanna smash it to pieces, cause I got it 2 months before he walked out on me! I'm broken... Unsure how to go on without him, feels like a death, but without the closure!

[skweezd]

RoseAnn, my heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry to hear about his erratic behavior and how he's turned his back on his family. This sounds crazy. You can be be thankful for the fact that you're not pregnant by him and that you only have 1.5 years invested. Do you have a supportive family you can go to? If so, I'd leave as quickly as I could so you can keep his insane family away from your children.

Hold your head high girl. You did nothing to deserve this. He screwed up and obviously doesn't like being told that he's wrong. Sounds like a control issue, especially with his "king" references. And please do not get that tattoo. If you really want a tattoo, get a symbol of something good in your life, something you've accomplished, something that'll make you happy, not sad. Surround yourself with positive people and lean on your good friends. You may never know why he acted the way he did and in two years, you won't care anymore. You'll be moved on. Be strong, time heals.