tangosucka Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 so me and my gf had been going out for 6 months. about 2 months ago the relationship went long distance.... 300 miles away. Before, she had been living with me and we did everything together. Even when she moved we skyped each other all day til we fell asleep. we told each other about everything important that happned during the day. last week we got into an argument and something changed. i ignored her for a few days cuz she blocked me on fb, but when i tried to reach out she ignored me for about a week. i finally drove down to see her and she told me very coldly that she needed space, asked what i was doing at her house, and why i couldnt take a hint. now before anyone says anything, i want everyone to understand that i thought she was different and i still love her even now. she doesnt care what other people think or say and is independent, sassy, smart, and beautiful. she told me that she was the only person i cud trust so i was never afraid to express how i really felt. whenever we got into an argument, we would resolve it in a day or 2. when we were living together, it never lasted more than a day. shes been very hurt from her first love and i thot i cud be the one to heal her and make her love again. recently i told her that i loved her, but i feel that it just pushed her further away since she was not ready for it. when i went down to see her, she told me that she couldnt be with me anymore. i asked her how her feelings for 6 months cud change in 1 week. she told me to drive bak home or she wouldnt even talk to me. she said that i made her happy, but not as happy as her first love. its not fair since they had been going out for years and we had been going out for only 6 months. she was as cold as ice. after she went inside, i left the presents i got for her birthday at the front door, told her to pick them up and started driving home. afterwards, she texted me that shes crying and confused. she said that she would rather me hate her rite now and that she cant give me what i want need and deserve. she said that she stil cares about me and that if you love someone let them go...if it was meant to be they'll come bak. how does that make sense? we live 300 miles apart... she said she needs to be single right now and wants to focus on school and handle things alone. i cant understand why shed rather be alone than with a guy that loves her. her mom even texted me while i was driving saying that shes been confused since she was younger since her father left and that she doesnt know what she wants in life. im struggling to deal with all this. i thot i could be the knight in shining armor riding in on a white horse, but when i kneeled down to pick up the pieces of her heart to try and put it back together... she stabbed me in the back and rode off on the horse. i gave everything i had to make her happy but now i feel that i was a fool for making myself so available and so eager. i thot she was different but i guess shes thinking that im too clingy and needy. dont really understand how girls that have had bad relationships can do this when they meet a guy who really cares about them. after i drove all the way home, i txted her the reasons i loved her, how i was feeling, and how much she meant to me. the next morning she texted saying that wat i said was beautiful and that shes felt the way i felt before except it was for her ex. sadly after everything, i still love her with all my heart.... i dont know what any of this means.... is there another guy in the picture, is she just not ready for a relationship, does she think she will meet a different guy that will make her feel the way she did with her first love? her bday is coming up next week and although ive already given her the presents, im wondering if i should text her happy birthday or completely stop communicating? please be honest but just keep in mind that i really do love her. i wouldnt be on here if i didnt. she texted me that she cares about me but shes confused and needs to figure things out. i would do anything in the world to get her back and i would do anything to make her happy.
StraylightRun24 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Hey tangosucka I can semi-relate to your BU story. My ex-girlfriend while breaking up with me brought up a former boyfriend who is the only person she ever was truly in love with and she unfortunately didn't feel the same way about me so decided to end it sooner (a little under 4 months) than later because she felt (correctly) I was falling in love with her. Her breaking up with me took me completely by surprise as things were going great between the two of us and we seemed to be taking the step into not only being in a relationship but a serious one. She had just taken me to her niece's 1st B-day and a co-workers/friends parties and spent Christmas Eve with me and my parents, but 3 days after Christmas she dropped the BU-BOMB on me and unfortunately two-plus months later I'm still on my road to recovery. What I believe you should do is go NC with her. You let her know how you feel and she unfortunately let you know how she feels about you. No matter what you say/do you can't change what somebody feels or doesn't feel. It's a really ****ty feeling knowing you gave your all to a certain person and for some strange reason it's just not enough for them. You shouldn't take it as a knock against you because it's her feelings for her ex that is holding her back from experiencing something truly special with you. You're in for a rough time but remember to keep your head held high. 2
Author tangosucka Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 yea i jus dont understand, its so messed up. i feel like she strung me along though. there were times when i said it was over, but she always convinced me and i always caved in. even the week before last, i said it was over since it seemed like she was stuck in the past and couldnt move forward. she said dont u miss me? i like you a lot. are u gon break up with me because i cant say i love you back? dont do this... and a bunch of other ****. 1 week later she turns the tables on me and ends it on her terms.
Author tangosucka Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 im pretty much gonna send her one last text tonite, telling her that if she had given me as much time as she had with her ex, she would of fallen in love with me. im going to wish her the best of luck and hope that she can find a way to be happy. probably never end up talking to her again.
StraylightRun24 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 im pretty much gonna send her one last text tonite, telling her that if she had given me as much time as she had with her ex, she would of fallen in love with me. im going to wish her the best of luck and hope that she can find a way to be happy. probably never end up talking to her again. I don't see any problem with the 2nd part of the text, but I'm not really sure if you should text her the first part. While your point seems logical, love is not a logical thing. Like I said above, she feels about you the way she does and you can't do anything to change that. Only she can. By the sound of it you were a very good BF to her, but like you said she's sadly stuck in the past. My ex, I believe, is in the same boat as your ex. She apparently dates guys for a few months but after the initial "sparks" fade she gives up on them (including me) because she is looking for the same feeling she had with this ex who she loved. It's tough because our egos are telling us, "Yea but I'm different," but in the end we just don't compare to the ex in their heads. Nothing we can do about that! Two things you should take out of this whole mess. 1) Possible Red Flags for your next relationship (like the girl talking way too much about her ex). 2) The fact that if you gave your all to somebody you thought was in love with you and actually wasn't and you thought it was so great just imagine how it will be when you actually find someone that loves you just as much as you love them! While I'm not trying to tell you to remain hopeful you will reconcile with this girl you have no idea if you'll ever talk to this girl ever again. We have no idea what the future holds and NEVER is a really LONG time! 1
Author tangosucka Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 Agreed. I sent the text, she immediately texted me back. I just shook my head to myself. Like I said, not going to text her again. The sad thing is she even admitted that she's never had a guy treat her as good as I have. It sucks that girls get hung up on an ex like that. I know what you're saying, I wonder what it will be like when I meet a girl that will love me back as much as I love her. The thing is after this, I don't even believe in love. I can understand the pain and confusion she is going through. I just imagine what I feel multiplied by 10 because of the long period of time they went out. It just makes me sad that she can turn around and hurt someone that cares for her so much the same way she has been hurt. Instead of being the one that's doing everything in the relationship, she got to be the one receiving everything in the relationship this time. Don't understand how she can hurt someone this bad after she's been hurt the same way. I know that I loved her because even now, I still love her. I can't even be mad at her. I can honestly ruin her life and shatter her dreams for her future right now, but I can only think about it because I would never be able to do that to her. I don't see any problem with the 2nd part of the text, but I'm not really sure if you should text her the first part. While your point seems logical, love is not a logical thing. Like I said above, she feels about you the way she does and you can't do anything to change that. Only she can. By the sound of it you were a very good BF to her, but like you said she's sadly stuck in the past. My ex, I believe, is in the same boat as your ex. She apparently dates guys for a few months but after the initial "sparks" fade she gives up on them (including me) because she is looking for the same feeling she had with this ex who she loved. It's tough because our egos are telling us, "Yea but I'm different," but in the end we just don't compare to the ex in their heads. Nothing we can do about that! Two things you should take out of this whole mess. 1) Possible Red Flags for your next relationship (like the girl talking way too much about her ex). 2) The fact that if you gave your all to somebody you thought was in love with you and actually wasn't and you thought it was so great just imagine how it will be when you actually find someone that loves you just as much as you love them! While I'm not trying to tell you to remain hopeful you will reconcile with this girl you have no idea if you'll ever talk to this girl ever again. We have no idea what the future holds and NEVER is a really LONG time!
Recommended Posts