Serious advice needed.... the post isn't so long so please help

[overseas2004]

I met this guy that I started dating about a month ago. To make it real short and simple for everyone the issues we may face were apparent from the beggining. He is 11 years older than me (but looks like 20 years older than me) and he used to date a very close friend of mine (he was the love of her life). We met by chance at an intersection of a busy street. His car was broken down and I gave him a lift. Later in the conversation I realized who he was (my friends ex). My friend lives far away now though and they aren't together anymore and haven't been for 7 years.

 

Well I didn't mean to get involved with him but he pushed really hard and the chemistry was so there. We started spending every waking moment together. The conversation between us was like little else I experienced.

 

About two weeks ago my brother came to visit. I told him about what was happening and he really gave me alot of advice. He was like, why are you wasting your time with this guy? How are you going to end up with someone that you dont even feel comfortable introducing to mom and dad? How are you going to end up telling your friend that you are with someone who she loved alot and still loves in some ways? What are you going to do ....go live with him in the small town he comes from? Are you going to fit in? Besides the awesome chemistry what about the drawbacks? And of course, there was "your 37 and you want to get married? You know you cant marry this guy? Why are you going to spend more time with someone you know you wont be able to be with? That is why you aren't married in the first place because you wasted time in no win situations. Oh God... these were all things that had been plaguing me from the start but I brushed them under the carpet. I loved being with this guy. He made me feel alive. He was so full of passion... but he was also a stable rock I could lean on. He was mature and I loved the way he treated me.

 

So when I saw him next all this stuff my brother said was like chewing me up inside. I started lashing out at him instead of talking to him about it. He took it very calmly and kept trying to stop me. I just got worse. Finally we had a spat about something and I told him I didn't want to speak to him again.

 

I miss him though. I think about him all the time. I tried to call to apologize but he hasn't picked up his phone, he lets his son answer the phone instead?

 

Any advice? Why am I looking back? How do I deal with the guilt?

[Papillon]

You were an ass. Get in your car, and get your ass over there.

[ECVegas]

overseas...

 

When the day is over...and the sun sets...you are the one that lives with your decisions. Not your brother...not your parents....not your friend.

 

Do what's in your heart. You both seem too mature to play games. Be honest with yourself. That way, if things don't work out, at least you can go on realizing that you did what your heart told you to do.

 

Best of luck