do you need to be more aggressive to hold on to a hot guy?

[tuxedo cat]

try not to show your insecurity or jealousy. try, but itll be hard. I have this problem with my current GF. no matter where we go women look and it drives her crazy with jealousy.

 

I dont look like the typical male over here. If I even talk with a woman to ask directions she gives me hell for so long. its tiring. when we walk in public and theres a pretty girl coming our way I put my eyes on her or put my head down or divert us to an opposite direction. oof its difficult sometimes cause truthfully I like looking at women. I dont want to sleep with them but just like looking. she says I have a hypnotic stare. thats true. I look and stare at everything. I am a pro photographer. I look and see everything.

 

she only once ever told me I look great. I know she doesnt say it because she doesnt want me to have an ego and then I would feel above her. I know I look good and dont need the feedback. otoh she needs constant ego stroking, attention, compliments and im more than happy to give her that.

 

Do women throw yourselves at you a lot? Do you ever have to be the pursuer?

[rocketman122]

I dont like aggressive women. im very traditional/old school in mind when it comes to courting. I feel like I need to pursue. I am the man and she is the woman.I dont like it when a woman plays hard to get if she's interested. when shes cold. Its a turn off to me. im not passive and if there is something I want I take it. I also dont give up easily. one thing I have zero tolerance for is games.

 

yes, I get too many offers but the women here have class and dont throw themselves at you. but they stare. you know when theyre interested or are curious. unless youre clueless about dating/getting hints. I dont need much from a women to know she's interested. all I need is a specific hypnotic stare. one, longer than usual look into my eyes and I know. she doesnt even need to smile. I see it. its an unmistakeable look. that kind of "mmm I like" look.

 

you can judge for yourself. my pic is inside. I dont look like the regular male. especially over here where most dont invest in the way they look and is short on average. 6'1" 210lbs, I dress very well, well groomed. btw, is that u in your avatar?

[MrNate 2.0]

I've noticed that if a guy is at all cute women will constantly throw themselves at him.

 

I recently added the guy I'm dating on facebook and noticed that his wall is peppered with come ons by attractive women. When they were dating his ex girlfriend wrote semi-desperate messages on his wall about how much she loved him and missed him, and he barely responded to any of them. Other women he isn't dating (friends/acquaintances I'm guessing) were also posting all over his wall about how handsome and sexy he is. He never responds to any of these messages.

 

I am not comfortable with giving a guy this level of public affection. But do I need to step up my game if I want to hold on to a guy like this? I always thought guys were turned off by women who are this forward.

 

Btw, he's not at all a player. If anything he's a bit reserved and he's very polite, but women just seem to flock to him. :/

 

Not really much you can do here anyway, but hope for an emotional connection. That's pretty much the only thing that gives someone a chance of holding onto someone anyway. Since he has plenty of options, you're pretty much always replaceable. Just try your lot.

[tbf]

If you need to adopt a strategy to hold onto to anyone, he's the wrong man for you. Be yourself and stop putting him on a pedestal no matter what he looks like.

 

But once again, if a guy solicits female attention while purportedly committed, be wary. Emotionally healthy, relationship style men who are committed, don't act this way.

[Vallez]

Dont get me wrong!

But this is the reason I don't add my dates to facebook, because you'll always see/find out something about a guy you like that will annoy you for no reason! It could be a drunk photo with his sexy best friend who is married, it could be these things you mentioned, it could be the fact that he adds random hot chicks every day for no reason or spends too much time on FB. Untill I don't meet anyone well he is not my FB friend!

 

Look, from my expirence a guy who is having too many comments on his photos of women hitting on him openly....You shouldn't take him seriously.

For every action there is a reaction! If he likes you and he knows you can see it, he will delete those comments or delete those photos. I'd do it if I'c care for someone, I wouldn't show it off with it. Actually I did it when I added my crush on FB, i deleted all unappropirate comments on my photos from men, so that he doesn't get a wrong impression that i am some attention whore. I know that sometimes is no ones fault to get provocating comments. But when you are not into people who comment it you either delete them or if they are good friends, you tell them to stop spamming joke you on FB.

 

I dated a guy like this. He was a pro basketball player, he was too damn sexy and he had x number of girls on FB drawling at him all the time. I felt ****ty.

 

If he didn't add them, they wouldn't do it, I think its simple. And a guy who takes no action about it and ignores those comments it means that he enjoys a lots of attention he is getting, but for some reason he didn't delete those comments. Maybe I am wrong, but as I said, been there done that couple of times. He is a show off. If he isn't a show off, then there is a damn good reason why his likes attention from these women. Normal guy would make it stop or delete it.

 

If it bothers you don't go to facebook. And don't put any comment like all those women, you'll look pathetic. Or do anything to get his attention on FB its lame. And don't be agressive or something. Why would you do it because it obvious he gets a lots of attention and he is used to it. Let him pursue you, don't do anything if he cares he'll get you, if he doesn't then I guess you'll know your answer.

[Bristolius]

Super Hot men aren't from another species. They aren't all attention whores. Many of them want girlfriends and wives.

 

Create a relationship with him. Share experiences. Create intimacy. Build a personal history with him.

 

You could do all that from a position of strength. It would be better to be open and kind than aggressive or fearful.

[hppr]

But do I need to step up my game if I want to hold on to a guy like this?

 

If you want to 'keep' a man you have to have a 'relationship' which means things in common, both wanting to have a family, kids, same religion, same field of work, that kind of stuff.

 

Your post reads like you're horny for this guy, probably fantasizing about how great it'll be to get a guy that's cute that every other girl seems to want etc.

 

Perfectly natural but it'll be a learning experience for you lol...

[man_in_the_box]

Huh? Even my attractive male friends don't have flocks of women posting randomly about how attractive they are. It sounds a bit... odd, doesn't it?

[iKING]

You look like the kind of guy that women would like. Can you elaborate on how aggressive/forward you like women to be with you?

 

There's two approaches I generally reciprocate well to:

 

Forward/confident: The girl sees what she wants and goes for it, very direct flirting, power play of sorts. It has a primal appeal to it, and prompts me to step up and progress the situation. As long as It's not over-the-top, bordering on cockiness, It's generally well received.

 

Shy/coy: She's the type that doesn't know she's beautiful. Modest, kind, very cute. It has a equally appealing qualities to it, I always get a kick out of making these girls blush. Doesn't come on too strong, but flirts indirectly. As long as she's showing remote interest, and isn't reserved to the point of it having no appeal to pursue, It's generally well received as well.

 

In a relationship, these things change, but in courtship It's usually a matter of using your qualities to your advantage. There's no reason to try to be something you're not simply to win someone's affection. If there's both attraction and interest on a personal level involved, it won't matter all that much as to how you go about it. Avoid absolutely smothering guys, and avoid showing absolutely no interest whatsoever, and you should be good to go.

[PogoStick]

I think you should definitely show interest and express your feelings. Guys don't like attention from someone they are uninterested in, but if he likes you then he should be excited to know you feel that way for him. Doesn't everyone like attention and validation?