singme2sleep Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Okay, this rant might be reminiscent of Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City) but it's just been on my mind lately: Most of us on LS, are broken hearted and missing our ex's while we search for support. We love someone who has left us or someone we had to leave for various reasons. But either way we had feelings invested and now we are in pain because our relationships are over. Most of you, like myself, talked to your ex everyday, seen them as much as you could, gave them all of you and only asked for their love in return. We want answers and we want some type of closure. But instead we just get tears, anger and probably resentment. There's a quote from a country song that goes "I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all" well I'm not so sure I agree. There are people out there who can look back on failed relationships and be grateful for meeting that individual and even though they aren't together anymore, they fondly remember the time they shared. I don't know if I can do that because it hurts like hell that he is gone. So my question is this...Is love really ever worth the pain?!
destroyed4sho Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Its worth it if the experience made you a better person in some.way. For.me.it didnt. My ex was an idiot and didnt treat me well. Now,even though i want.to date, any potential mates seem unsuitable and i am.almost.disgusted by.them. I can easily.spot their faults and i lose interest quickly. Kind of.difficult for me to date anyone seriously. Hopefully this feeling of disgust will fade.
CaliBabe Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I'm in so much pain right now that I can't even bare it. I can't focus on work or anything. To me, its not worth it. 3
SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I don't know...the thought of kissing someone else makes me cry. If this never happened I wouldn't feel this way... 2
Sososad Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Think I could just be in the denial phase I look back on some very good laughs we had Wasn't all bad ... She ripped my heart out in The end but some of them times Don't know If I was ever happier than i felt in moments Guess time changes that too.. 1
misswillow Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 I don't know if it's worth it. When my ex broke up with me a few days ago I told him that I wished I had never met him because then I wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing him right now. It's how I really feel at the moment. I hope someday I will feel differently, but I think that the pain of breakups leaves scars that will never heal. 1
jagdude14 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 You know what yes it is worth the pain because you wouldn't be hurting if your love wasnt true. I am hurting and I mean hurting. I am 8 wks nc. I treated her the best idk why we broke up. I haven't heard from her but you know what it shows me how I react in all aspects of live and proves to myself I am capable of loving someone the right way when they live me in return 2
myspirit153 Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 It does suck, my ex after 3 years just broke up with me almost a month ago, got confused called it a "break," two weeks later called it a "break-up" after having a fight about nothing at a concert that started it... we fought but never like this before. The breakup - I didn't fight, I accepted his wishes and it broke my heart listening to him saying he isn't sure he is in love with me but loves me as a best friend. He treated me like a jerk and mentioned things like, "What if it doesn't work out when we move in together after a month?" What if???...he is stressed about his residency spot and pushed me away. He wanted me to move with him and now he isn't "sure" about us. what the heck?
Author singme2sleep Posted March 8, 2013 Author Posted March 8, 2013 I'm in so much pain right now that I can't even bare it. I can't focus on work or anything. To me, its not worth it. I totally agree And no matter what you do, everything reminds you of them! I can go somewhere I went with him once, and it makes me feel like breaking down. When I'm out driving, I see tons of cars everyday that are like his...they don't even have to be the same color. 2
Lost Fish Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Ahh singme2sleep, I feel ya. In one of the very last conversations I had with my ex I told her I wish I could delete myself from her brain, and that she could do the same for me. And in a way I guess people try to do that with booze and other substances. But this is life. Terrible, horrible, agonizing, heart-wrenching LIFE. And no one gets out alive. But we grow through pain. We learn and evolve as people. And it hurts. And it's agonizing. And life keeps going on even when we feel like we're completely stuck. Time keeps ticking on by. And at that point it's up to us to decide how we want to spend our time. I'm reminded of a quote from 'The Shawshank Redemption': Get busy livin', or get busy dyin'. Life is Hell. Love is Hell. But both are always worth it. 1
Absewarrior Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Failed relationships are useful because they help you to figure out what you want or do not want in a life partner. Unfortunately, in order to find the right mate, you have to go through a few terrible wrongs. The heartbreak is real, because you do develop real feelings. Grieve your loss and take care of yourself right now. AW
Coping Vortex Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 I just don't know if this pain is worth it. The emotional and physical toll is tremendous.
Compromize Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 The famous " It is better to have loved and lost then never loved at all" Is such a pile of flaming manure that it makes me want to vomit. It is better to love and love and love and have that love returned at least threefold. I totally agree And no matter what you do, everything reminds you of them! I can go somewhere I went with him once, and it makes me feel like breaking down. When I'm out driving, I see tons of cars everyday that are like his...they don't even have to be the same color. Lol, I saw my ex 42 times today just on the way home from work and 3 times on my way to the store tonight and she was coming to knock on my door and tell me she wants us back and will do whatever it takes to make me see this. Oh wait on second thought those 3 cars were my neighbors and a majority of the 42 cars I saw had 2 people in them. More food for the freaking imagination. (shakes head like a dog shaking off water) wait... I might be fairly delusional. Bottom line for me. She is still just words on a stupid phone screen and not arms around me. Result: So not worth it if goals and the future are not reciprocated no matter how much you love them. 1
Thunderchild Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 Its worth it if the experience made you a better person in some.way. For.me.it didnt. My ex was an idiot and didnt treat me well. Now,even though i want.to date, any potential mates seem unsuitable and i am.almost.disgusted by.them. I can easily.spot their faults and i lose interest quickly. Kind of.difficult for me to date anyone seriously. Hopefully this feeling of disgust will fade. No - your projecting your insecurities and hurt onto them.. It's a perfectly natural defence mechanism. It just takes time to pass.
LifeIsGreat Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 My motto: Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Until you can get to that place in your mind, any & every loss in your life will make for a very unpleasant life. 1
destroyed4sho Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 No - your projecting your insecurities and hurt onto them.. It's a perfectly natural defence mechanism. It just takes time to pass. Thank you. The problem here is how long will this feeling take to get over? With my ex-ex, it took about 2 years for me to be interested in someone else. I felt grossed out with the people I dated, and sometimes just angry at the fact they would call me back for a 2nd date. Is there a way to quickly get over this frustrating stage?
Author singme2sleep Posted March 9, 2013 Author Posted March 9, 2013 The famous " It is better to have loved and lost then never loved at all" Is such a pile of flaming manure that it makes me want to vomit. It is better to love and love and love and have that love returned at least threefold. Lol, I saw my ex 42 times today just on the way home from work and 3 times on my way to the store tonight and she was coming to knock on my door and tell me she wants us back and will do whatever it takes to make me see this. Oh wait on second thought those 3 cars were my neighbors and a majority of the 42 cars I saw had 2 people in them. More food for the freaking imagination. (shakes head like a dog shaking off water) wait... I might be fairly delusional. Bottom line for me. She is still just words on a stupid phone screen and not arms around me. Result: So not worth it if goals and the future are not reciprocated no matter how much you love them. I feel your pain! I imagine him knocking on my door holding roses and telling me he can't live without me. But I blame romantic comedies for putting these notions in my head.
lovnlost Posted March 9, 2013 Posted March 9, 2013 I feel your pain! I imagine him knocking on my door holding roses and telling me he can't live without me. But I blame romantic comedies for putting these notions in my head. When I showed up to apologize I gave her flowers, and a gift I ordered when she said she would wait for me when we broke up. It took 5 weeks to get delivered to me. By then I was too late. It was really nice I thought. But had no effect.
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