seductress989 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 [font=arial][/font] My ex insists that we still be friends after breaking up 3 months ago. Our relationship lasted for around a year and a half. It was my first serious relationship. At first, it was wonderful. I was sure he was The One. But we eventually took each other for granted and started arguing a lot. That's when I ended things. After the breakup, we are still "friends". The only thing is that we are not platonic friends, but friends with benefits. I am really starting to feel used. Our sex life was amazing and that aspect of our relationship hasn't ended. I moved to another town and he comes to see me and brings me things like candy and incense. I let him stay the night since the drive to my place takes a while. This scenario usuallly occurs once a week. We always end up having sex even though I try to convince myself not to every time before he comes over. It is hard for me to resist him b/c I'm so used to it. He says that he only thinks of me as a friend but is still very sexually attracted to me. I want to stop seeing him b/c he's not willing to commit and I'm not going to be just a booty call for him. I am in desperate need of advice. I want to get over him and end the sex for good. I still have feelings for him and I know the sex is not helping. I would appreciate all replies. Someone please help me.
Papillon Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 YOU'RE feeling used? It takes two to tango, sweetheart. It's simple - you have to avoid seeing him privately. If you still have a good friendship, then keep it in the open. Only meet in public.
Notorious Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 If you keep having sex with him you'll never get over him. I went through this type of thing with an old girlfriend. I was in love with her, she didn't feel the same way, but we had great sex. This went on for 4 YEARS. The late night booty calls, then not hearing from her for weeks. Don't make the same mistake I did.
confusedmind Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 hey, i went through exactly the same thing with my ex. we dated for just under a year, broke up, but still were "friends with benefits" because of the strong physical attraction we had towards eachother... i don't think either of us could help it when we were in the same place together. Then one night, i had a long hard talk to a friend and came to my senses. With this still going on, there was no way what so ever that i was going to get over him. I would have jumped at the chance to go back out with him, but he didn't.... so what was i going to gain from this? It was just hurting me more because i would be with him, and it would be so intense... i'd then get the slight and remote hope in the back of my mind that maybe this was the time he'd come back to me... but it never happened. It just went to not hearing from him for weeks... i knew i shouldn't put up with that... and you shouldn't either babe. Just think of it like this, while your still with him, you are probably blinded to other great guys out their that want to be WITH you.... relationship and all, not just a booty call.... i'd hate for you to repeat my mistake it's not worth it, trust me....
sami Posted September 7, 2004 Posted September 7, 2004 I don't believe in " Friends with Benefits". It is yet another good but deceptive title for the most abusive kind of a relationship. It is abusive to both parties though they may not dare to see it that way. It takes lot of honesty, courage and openness to face it as a reality.
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