EchoAbove Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Lets start at the beginning, my wife and i have been married 3 years we dated only 4 mouths before we got married. Im 25 and shes 25 years old.We have a 2 year old son.I've been very verbally abusive to my wife and I would also do it in front of my son because I was so mad I really didn't care . When we argue, yeah she say some stuff that hurts me but I never really take it to the heart but I never really notice because I was to comfortable in the situation that the stuff I was saying when I was angry was very hurtful. Also I've been very controlling I wouldn't let her get a job or even go to the store without wanting to know what she's wearing.but it's not all bad she's a stay at home mother before she left and I provided everything for the family working everyday to make sure we have everything we need to survive. Also when I come home I'd never spend time with them I would just come home and jump right on the video game I wouldn't spend any time with my son and wife. Well about a month ago she left with my son out of the blue while I was at work. When I came home I wasn't mad I was very surprised. I kinda just sat down and thought about things and realized wtf was I doing. It was a super kick to the face and a huge reality check. I knew I needed to straitened up and quick and get control over myself and my jealously and being controlling.. So I started going to marriage counseling and going to church (which I told her in the past I'd never go).also started marriage classes. Will she was very confused by this because she thought I was just gonna be angry and get a divorce when she left. I really wanted to fix myself for her and fight for my marriage like the bible says to do. Will she saw that I was changing and went to marriage class with me and decided to come back home. So she came back home and everything was going great I was still going to class I was spending time with them I was doing everything she wanted to show her I'm gonna change for the better. Will she come up to be one night out of the blue and tells me she's leaving again because she feeling like she loves me but not in love with me and she needed more time to think.. Well I tried talking her into staying and letting me win her love back but it didn't work she left again. Well she's been gone about a month and we email back and forth almost everyday and FaceTime every once in awhile due to she lost her phone. When she left I rearranged the whole apartment to give it a new feel to get all the old memories out.. Will 2 weekends ago we went to the beach and I got us a hotel and we stayed on the seawall we had a blast you could tell she was comfortable and keep hugging me and telling me she loves me.will that Sunday while we were there I got sick so she actually came and stayed at the house with my son tell I got better then I went and dropped her back off at where's shes staying. Ok this through me off even more because I though everything was getting better.she came over this past weekend and early that day she was giving me signs she wanted to have sex so I waited to that night and we were laying there and she said she didn't feel good and was tired and I told her that it sucks my wife doesn't wanna have sex with me which wasn't the right thing to say and I apologized right after I said it because that not really how it was.. Well we started talking and she told me she sees me as a bestfriend and is comfortable with me but she has no drive to have sex.. So I tried to change the subject and told her well talk about it later when she's not sick or tired.. Well I went to work the next day and we emailed all day while I was there I apologized again to her for the night before and everything was going great. Well when I got home she asked if I wanted to take a shower together and we had sex which through me off will she stayed to Sunday and we had a blast.we she got back to where she was staying she emailed and said she missed me already and loved me but it Thursday and she's nearly emailing me or anything I'm soooo confused I just want my family back . I'm a changed man and I'm never gonna act like that to anybody ever again..she keeps telling me that she's just thinking it through and making sure she makes the right decision so she doesn't leave again.. I'm feel so empty cause I'm doing everything in my power to show her and idk what's going on in her head!
Grumpybutfun Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 You lost her trust, and now you are going to have to earn it back. As you know, earning trust doesn't happen over night. If you feel this is really going to work and you want this relationship, give her what she needs right now. Don't pressure her into committing to your time table when you were the one who made her hurt. Be gentle with her and patient. That will serve you far more than trying to force a situation to happen on your time table. Grumps
aMguilts Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) i wasn`t even going to read. sorry paragraphs would help. aM Edited March 10, 2013 by aMguilts
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