Author Junipertree Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 I genuinely get the impression he's the kind of guy who, because of his workload, or whatever reason would have been a LOT happier by keeping this interaction going by text. He seems really comfortable texting/flirting etc but doesn't really seem to want anything in real life. What an odd person. I've never met anyone like him before, and I don't mean that in a good way
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 It is crystal clear for me that he wanted you just for sex. Even if you don't give that impression, some guys want to chase and try to win the prize and they'll put some effort. However, his overall behavior shows that when you went over and he didn't get the sex, he lost interest in pursuing further, he doesn't mind keeping you hanging just in case, some attention when he feels like it etc.. Also, he likes to have the power/control. He's absolutely not worth it. What are you doing still thinking about him after 3 weeks? Sorry, just move on please.
Author Junipertree Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 Hah! That's probably a correct observation BlueEyes! The funny thing is at that point I was sufficiently detached enough to not being being a bit experimental in that department. If he had been a bit more of a gentleman and given it a couple of weeks longer he would've got what he wanted lol Yes indeed, time to move on.
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 If he had been a bit more of a gentleman and given it a couple of weeks longer he would've got what he wanted lol Yes indeed, time to move on. Yes, very classical, they chase and chase intensely and it's an urgency, they don't want to wait. I mean this type of guys. I've had at least one almost identical situation. 1
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 Next time you meet one of those who tell you they want you via text, just never go to their place or have them come to yours unless you really want to have sex with them, and if you do, just do it right there. If you go, make out or not, kiss or not, but don't have sex right away, they'll always back off after.Also, very high chance that they'll dissapear after sex too, but you can have sex if you really want to. Just if you want to wait "a couple more weeks" don't meet them alone and let them go if they go, they are not worth it anyway. Just test my theory one more time if you want, I can bet my savings that it's gonna verify
Author Junipertree Posted May 7, 2013 Author Posted May 7, 2013 That sounds to me suspiciously like, turn up to his place nekkid lol naughty, naughty blueye! I know my life experience is pretty limited in this department. I've only, thankfully, ever had to deal with straight-talking honest people, so it's been a weird couple of months! 1
BluEyeL Posted May 7, 2013 Posted May 7, 2013 I'm sure you're an incredible woman, but for whatever reason, he decided after your first date that you were not relationship material. . Some guys just do not look for a relatiohship so no matter if you are or not relationship material, they are only looking for a hook up and everyone they meet is a potential hook up. The only thing is, if they think you are "relationship material" and they have no chance to hook up whatsoever, they'll just drop it right away. If they are physically attracted enough, they might chase a bit before.
Author Junipertree Posted July 17, 2013 Author Posted July 17, 2013 Ha! I just cannot seem to shake this one off. So a about a month ago I had a spare ticket for an event, and I sent a standard message to all my contacts offering it to whoever. He got back in touch and said he'd like it, first come first served (and literally NO ONE else wanted it otherwise he probably would've been bumped). Anyhow, we went to the event, I didn't find it particularly awkward seeing him again, instead it was an odd feeling of - oh. I can't remember what I was so infatuated with. I did enjoy his company as always - slightly eccentric, which I am all about. He came from work, and had to go back to work straight after the event, though it was pushing 10 at night; his hours do seem crazy and he mentioned he only got 6 hours of sleep over the last 3/4 days. Anyway, though the romantic spark is dead he seems cool enough to have as a friend who gets me. As we were parting ways, he mentioned we should meet up. I told him (truthfully) that I am busy for the rest of the month, and not free til about mid-july. He seemed slightly deflated, but I was just too busy to sacrifice work time for him. Anyway, I unexpectedly got an evening off work a few weeks later and wanted to attend another event, so invited him along but he wasn't in the country, though he thanked me for the invitation. I attended anyway and had a good time with another friend. Now, finally that my particular project is finished, I do have more free time, so I messaged him asking if he was free to meet this weekend. Again, he always replies to my messages really enthusiastically and sounds happy to hear from me. He mentioned that he's not in the country again over the weekend, but he did want to meet up. Now here's the issue: the next thing he said was - how was the project going? To my mind, if you can't make it to something because you're away but you do want to meet, you say - hey, I'll be back on this date, so maybe then? Not just change the subject. Anyhow, I just said well let me know if you want to meet when you're back and he said he would so the conversation ended there. It's up to him now, but I would be seriously surprised if he was ever in touch again tbh! I think overall I've learned things from this: 1. Never underestimate your own life experience and gut instinct. I assumed because he was more mature and experienced, that he know what he was doing and completely went against my gut instinct in allowing the interactions to become so intense so very quickly. When he sent me that first sloppy message all those months ago, my instinct was: ew. he shouldn't be so over familiar, he's only known me for an hour! I should have told him to back off then and there, and been friends for a while. Then maybe things could have built up then from there, and if not, I'd still have a new friend I was happy to know. 2. Some situations in life are unsalvageable. This frustrates, as I'm a pretty logical person, and I can clearly see how great we could have been as friends, but it's just not happening. 3. I am more disappointed with how awful a judge of character I was in this instance - he's so cool and fun in real-life, low key and well-mannered that I find it genuinely difficult to square how he is over the phone versus face to face. I am also annoyed that basically everything has gone his way: I've offered him numerous times to just call it off, but each time he's very strenuously said no. But then he makes zero effort to be in touch or actually be a friend. I guess 27 is a late age to learn that people can be that inconsiderate and selfish, but better late than never! lol He initiated all the ideas to be friends, to meet up, etc, but as far as I can see he's all words, no effort. Unless he organises and initiates a meet up I think it's safe to say I feel OK about leaving this be.
Recommended Posts