redskies Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) Hi. I am 19 years old. I've been with someone on and off since I was 14 years old. We are both attending the same college and we dated this year. In November my mom passed away. Him and I broke up during that time as well. I felt (and still feel like) i lost everything. He meant so much to me - from the day we first dated I thought we'd always be together. I know that sounds so incredibly cheesy and naive, but I really believed it. Ever since my mom died, he stopped talking to me. No texts, no calls. We go to the same college and I dont even get him stopping by my place to check how I am (we basically lived together the time we were dating this year, which was September - November). I would think it's because he thinks it's awkward, but he KNEW how SCARED i was to lose my mom. He SAW me cry nights over this when my mom was in the hospital. He KNEW how important, and sad, losing her would make me. And it's been THREE months, and he can't ask how I am? He's not obligated to, but if he ever lost someone that i knew he was terrified of losing, i'd be there for him 24/7. i'd be there, guaranteed, 100%. because i love him and care for him that much. We broke up because of issues of him talking to his ex. Now, I figured out he still talks a lot to his ex. They were more like close friends, he told me. I was always sure how he felt about me. I know for a fact that he loved me. But the fact that he's not here for me when my mom has passed away, at a time i need him the most, feels like a big slap in the face. I ultimately feel like I've spent 6 years loving and always hoping to end up with someone who 1) isn't the person I thought he was 2) possibly didn't love me to the extent I thought he did i know he loves me because of the things he did, and he's always the one to initiate contact whenever we have periods of not speaking. I was his first (and only) for almost everything (and likewise). but i dont know why he's just suddenly disappeared. it makes me feel like i shouldnt love someone who treats me like this. even in our relationship i felt insecure because he always talked to his ex. i just feel like i should move on, once and for all, but how do you move on after having your mind "set" on someone for 6 years? especially when he was there during the most critical, important parts of my life (growing up). I just can't believe he's not texting, emailing, or calling just to ask how I am. Not even once.I just feel like crying all the time. It just hurts that he's gone at a time i need him the most, and I lost 2 people at the same time. For me it's not only the breakup, of course. it's losing my mom and having noone close to me to talk to (i moved to a different city for college and haven't made close friends, i was always with him), it's not having someone to hold me at night and tell me that i'm gonna be okay, it's just being alone when i know i shouldn't be alone because i am trying to cope with death and i just need him here. Do you think he even really loved me? I know for a fact that he thought I was attractive. I dated a few guys (only childish, short-lived relationships) and he was worried that I'd cheat on him, or leave him for another guy because he thought I was pretty. So sometimes I thought it was just physical. But we spent so much time together this year - we lived together. We keep coming back to each other. I always thought us coming back to each other meant we love each other too much to be away forever, but I don't know anymore. Edited March 7, 2013 by redskies
ls32ssibm Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 For starters, take a look at this thread; http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/377834-something-people-ages-18-26ish-remember Then, reflect on the fact that there are some people here and all over the country who are 40, 50, 60, etc. who are alone. You are 19. Just give it some time.
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