Author MrCastle Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 I still think she could have you if she wanted to. I should also say my heart currently belongs to a girl who is way way off limits. But this thread isn't about her, either.
ls32ssibm Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 No. You're just choosing to focus on the wrong thing. This is not a thread about me and this girl, and whatever situation we have. This is about men, standing up to women when they are challenged, as opposed to laying down. I told the woman in question straight up that I don't care for her in any way outside of classmates/friends. I told her that straight up. I said it, and I believe it. Again, you are focusing on me and this girl in particular as opposed to the overall message. Men need to stand up for themselves. Women will respect you for it. I don't know. It sounds like this girl just likes attention. Maybe ignoring her would have been more akin to standing up to her than creating drama.
Archgirl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I should also say my heart currently belongs to a girl who is way way off limits. But this thread isn't about her, either. For once 1
SJC2008 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) I was going to make a thread about this. Calling a woman out has NEVER worked for me. Where are these women who respect a man who won't put up with thier games?? Grant it my sample may be skewed in that most of the women I've dated I've met online. Also, not that we're supposed to go by rules and such but when you call a woman out for flaking it makes you look weak (supposedly) and you're supposed to act like you don't care lol. Edited March 7, 2013 by SJC2008 add
Author MrCastle Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 I don't know. It sounds like this girl just likes attention. Maybe ignoring her would have been more akin to standing up to her than creating drama. She does like attention. Most women do though. Hell, most men. But wouldn't you say, what I was doing initially was creating unnecessary drama? Going no contact while seeing her several days a week? I think that's more dramatic than staying on relatively good terms and speaking my mind when challenged.
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I was going to make a thread about this. Calling a woman out has NEVER worked for me. Where are these women who respect a man who won't put up with thier games?? Grant it my sample may be skewed in that most of the women I've dated I've met online. Also, not that we're supposed to go by rules and such but when you call a woman out for flaking it makes you look weak (supposedly) and you're supposed to act like you don't care lol. I dunno, personally I call people out all the time nowdays. Men, women, anyone that's disrespecting me. Some distance themselves, others correct their behavior. I think nobody should be afraid to disagree with people for the fear of losing them. That IS weak. 4
Author MrCastle Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 I was going to make a thread about this. Calling a woman out has NEVER worked for me. Where are these women who respect a man who won't put up with thier games?? Grant it my sample may be skewed in that most of the women I've dated I've met online. Also, not that we're supposed to go by rules and such but when you call a woman out for flaking it makes you look weak (supposedly) and you're supposed to act like you don't care lol. Certain things. It depends. Yeah complaining about flaking may come off as whining. I don't know. Maybe it's in how you word things. Admittedly there have been times where I probably scared girls off by being too intense, but in this instance I wasn't intense. I was arguing but not from an emotional stand point. I felt like I was having a presidential debate. She would resort to all caps on certain words, exclamation points, all of her texts being longer than mine. The chick was flustered. It's like taking a bully, someone who fed on small prey, and putting them in a cell with someone the same size. It's gonna be a fight. A fight they weren't used to having. Most men before me, laid down for this girl. You could tell. She just had that attitude like she could get away with anything. I put her in her place. She changed real quick after that.
ls32ssibm Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 She does like attention. Most women do though. Hell, most men. But wouldn't you say, what I was doing initially was creating unnecessary drama? Going no contact while seeing her several days a week? I think that's more dramatic than staying on relatively good terms and speaking my mind when challenged. You could have occasionally given her the finger, maybe the tongue thing from Scarface, or maybe told her how cool it is you think that she doesn't feel the need to look good. It would have broken the awkward silence, without bending over the accommodate her 2
Author MrCastle Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 or maybe told her how cool it is you think that she doesn't feel the need to look good. F***. That's lethal bro. Damn. I'm so using this next time something like this goes down.
Emilia Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I dunno, personally I call people out all the time nowdays. Men, women, anyone that's disrespecting me. Some distance themselves, others correct their behavior. I think nobody should be afraid to disagree with people for the fear of losing them. That IS weak. Agree 100%. You get what you fight for in my experience 1
SJC2008 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Certain things. It depends. Yeah complaining about flaking may come off as whining. I don't know. Maybe it's in how you word things. Admittedly there have been times where I probably scared girls off by being too intense, but in this instance I wasn't intense. I was arguing but not from an emotional stand point. I felt like I was having a presidential debate. She would resort to all caps on certain words, exclamation points, all of her texts being longer than mine. The chick was flustered. It's like taking a bully, someone who fed on small prey, and putting them in a cell with someone the same size. It's gonna be a fight. A fight they weren't used to having. Most men before me, laid down for this girl. You could tell. She just had that attitude like she could get away with anything. I put her in her place. She changed real quick after that. I'm sure presentaion has a lot to do with it. I've come to realize that I'm not a "nice guy". The last woman I dated told me on our 3rd date she didn't know what she wanted and wasn't looking for a relationship when I asked what she was looking for. The next words out of my mouth were "Well I understand that's the situation you're in but I'm not here for an ego boost". I said it in normal tone, not like I was going off. 1
Archgirl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Agree 100%. You get what you fight for in my experience I dunno, I'm personally a big fan of the "you don't demand respect, you assume it it" school. People tend to react the messages you send out on a more subtle level Hello Emilia!! I missed you! :laugh: 2
Author MrCastle Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 "Well I understand that's the situation you're in but I'm not here for an ego boost". I said it in normal tone, not like I was going off. Yeah. That's good. I do stuff like that. I don't get emotional, I say what I need to say firmly, and that's it. I don't try to intimidate, or force them to see things my way, or talk them into things. I tell them what I think, and that's it. 1
ls32ssibm Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I should also say my heart currently belongs to a girl who is way way off limits. But this thread isn't about her, either. Off limits how?
Archgirl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Off limits how? Really dude, don't go there, just don't. She had a kid, and a partner from memory. 1
ls32ssibm Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Really dude, don't go there, just don't. She had a kid, and a partner from memory. Oh. I was thinking maybe the boss's daughter or the descendant of a rival family or something. 2
Woggle Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 People will respect you as much as you respect yourself. 2
Author MrCastle Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 Really dude, don't go there, just don't. She had a kid, and a partner from memory. Good memory... 1
Els Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 "Known text flaker"? Gotta admit that this is the first time I've heard the term. I don't frankly see what the point is in calling her out for not answering your texts when you're not even actually... together? There is no expectation for friends or casual encounters to answer non-urgent/important texts quickly, most of the time. Much better to assume (correctly) that she isn't really interested in you, and just move on without the drama. I agree with the premise of people only wanting to be with people they respect, but this is hardly the best example of it, IMO. I wouldn't much respect a guy who thought it'd be cool to start a text argument about me not texting him back quickly enough when we're not even bf/gf. 2
dasein Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Agree with OP, but find the best policy generally for men is to avoid the necessity of "calling out" to start with. I find it's a "one step forward two steps back" process at best, and a silly waste of time besides. Texting? Yuck. Hell just start wearing tampons when you buy into lots of early texting, that's how they will see you IME. Keep in mind that every spare second they aren't texting you or on the phone with you, they are doing so with other women. Differentiate yourself. How do you do this? Limit contact before she is bought in emotionally. U.S. women who are infatuated behave relatively well, before that? generally terribly. Infatuation and sexual satisfaction are sadly the best paths to the "respect" of women. Avoid as many "heavy" relationship talks and topics as possible, even hypotheticals (silly wastes of male time and energy, don't play)... forever. Be wary when women comment "you don't put up with my crap and I like that." It means they think you really are putting up with their crap by even deigning to buy into the legitimacy of irrelevant minutiae and are losing sexual interest because of it. Agree very strongly with the sentiment that most women want a man, a sexual man, not another GF. Once they are satisfying you sexually and showing a warm, giving nature, then allow them some very sparing, infrequent "relationship chatter." Not before. Defuse and disengage until then, there's no way to get "respect" early on (at least in the way men generally use the term) from a woman who isn't bought in emotionally IME, so the focus should lie on getting that emotional involvement which comes fastest through lots of orgasms and infatuation. 2
Archgirl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Good memory... I think it's the thrice daily repetition of your tale of woe that made it stick Sugar but yeah let's call it my good memory 1
Author MrCastle Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 "Known text flaker"? Gotta admit that this is the first time I've heard the term. I don't frankly see what the point is in calling her out for not answering your texts when you're not even actually... together? There is no expectation for friends or casual encounters to answer non-urgent/important texts quickly, most of the time. Much better to assume (correctly) that she isn't really interested in you, and just move on without the drama. I agree with the premise of people only wanting to be with people they respect, but this is hardly the best example of it, IMO. I wouldn't much respect a guy who thought it'd be cool to start a text argument about me not texting him back quickly enough when we're not even bf/gf. It wasn't about her lack of texting. Argument was never about that. She said something that made me get defensive and instead of letting it slide, I took her on. It lead to other stuff we've been having problems with and I addressed all issues.
Els Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It wasn't about her lack of texting. Argument was never about that. She said something that made me get defensive and instead of letting it slide, I took her on. It lead to other stuff we've been having problems with and I addressed all issues. Ah, okay. I still generally disagree with SMS arguments (or whatsapp or whatever else you use), really, and I don't think that 'standing your ground' via text is the best way to obtain the respect of most people. But, as long as it worked for you, s'all good I guess. 1
Emilia Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I dunno, I'm personally a big fan of the "you don't demand respect, you assume it it" school. People tend to react the messages you send out on a more subtle level I think that probably depends on how many Type A personalities you have to deal with - though I didn't mean 'fight' literally (ie arguing). You can't demand respect but when you are not given it, I think you should voice/imply your 'disappointment' . Hello Emilia!! I missed you! :laugh: Hello Archgirl! Likewise! 1
iKING Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Being able to carry a sound argument in a debate requires intellect and reason. Getting into said debate requires backbone. As long as you don't let anger cloud your judgment, you can get your point across without trying to displaying too much dominance, which in turn gathers respect. There are things worth debating about, and things that are not. Carrying on a debate based on two radical opposites angrily throwing verbal spit-fire at each other isn't likely to go anywhere. However, one who is able to understand another's reasoning, without them being fully aware of it, can use this to their advantage. Sometimes things escalate into all out war. In which case, neither party wins. One may have successfully warn the competing party out to the point of submission, thereby drowning out their opinion, but they have still not convinced the other of their point of view. Having a degree of understanding of all sides of a problem gives you leverage to win over the mind of another, as you can coax their opinion over using sound reasoning. It also helps if you can take note of hypocritical statements and utilize metaphorical observations. In irrelevant matters, a closed mouth gathers no foot. 5
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