2betex Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Well here is a story for you.. I was married for 28 years and now separated. We were a blind date and married at the justice of the piece. Sometimes, I wonder why, we did not do what we had to do to save the marriage, we did marriage counselors, independent counselors and even went to a law firm to see if the shock would shock us back into reality… funny thing we went to talk and during the discussion she pulled the trigger… I was shocked and stunned.. Not what we had talked about before we went. I guess the codependent chick saw the opportunity to cripple me again.. Not the first time… She was caught kissing my neighbor during my last term in College, not when we were young when I was 45 and jamming thought a second degree in 16 months. She always had a habit of kicking me when I was in a high pressure situation. Like she was not getting enough attention so she had to create it… hmmm A new observation. Well we have been separated for 6 months now, at least legally, mentally it has been years, we lived the façade,, Everyone thought we would last a life time. Here is the interesting thing, I met a girl almost two years ago, we hit it off, I just never did anything as I was still married. Old world value system, I guess… We got along great and she is cool.. Well she moved to another state to get away and relocate her kids for a better life.. Well that went up in smoke as her ex-husband reneged on the deal and started a legal battle for her kids. He has temp custody. We kept in contact and she would call me every two weeks or so melting done for over 10 months… I would talk her down and get her head back in the game. Well this January she had enough and was totally freaked out, her brother was treating her like crap and she came back and moved in with me. Well I am the only one who knows what she went through and she is ashamed of it at times, I do not care as I see her for who she is and can be. I really care about her and her kids, they really like me. As I treat them with respect and we relax together and enjoy each other. However at one time I did express my interest in her, and she did me also but she seems to have forgotten that. Now every once in a while out of the blue she says she believes it is unhealthy for her to be living with me. Never get a clear answer of what this means, she always say it is because her I expressed interest in her at one time and she is concerned that I may go crazy if she leaves.. Funny we have had this discussion a few times and I always say there is plenty of doors and windows she can leave at any time. I would miss her terribly because I do care about deeply but I know better at this time to say anything or act on it. I keep it to myself. And just try to help her get her life back together. Now this weekend, she had a few too many drinks, bad weekend with the kids, they were at her sister’s house and did not have a good time.. She said they wanted to be here with me. Now her sister is a manipulative narcissist and has done nothing but steer my friend in wrong directions and provided bad influences to her. I would hate to see her move in with her as he abuses my friend like a tool… Even she knows it. She keeps telling that we can never have a relationship. Even though she stays with me and I always explain to her she can leave at any time. She said this week that she does not love me. Have no idea of where this came from. I have never said a showed anything like this to her. I really do care really a lot for her, unconditionally. But I hide extremely well, as she needs to get her life back in order. She constantly tests me, she even admits to it. Based on her wacked out sisters opinion of me.. Who has no idea who I am? Only met me for 10 minutes last xmas when my friend wanted me to meet her kids and see her when she flew back for Xmas… We have known each other for almost two years and never had an argument… weird, we talk for day, weeks, and months about stuff, Her other sister even said we get along like to peas in a pod and are really good for each other. We have all these discussions and pretty much everything we have in common are way close, she wants what I want, she say things that I totally agree with. Everything we both want are similar and in the same direction.. It is freaky to a point that either she has been lying to me or we have so much in common that is scares her to death.. and she cannot admit it. I treat her great, with respect and comfort and kindness, her kids even see this, as I treat them the same way.. They really like me. When does a 14 year old girl become fond of a guy she has only met a few times and tells her mom she likes me a lot.. I think that speaks volumes.. Even her 13 year old son really digs me.. He calls me the best guy her mom has ever known… Now she has never had a guy treat here as well as I do, I have a good job, money not rich, I am a nice guy, good heart and like to be active but not a jock. Well the last shocker she through at me out of the blue is that she does not love me and we cannot have relationship and it is unhealthy for her to be here with me. I never put pressure on her unless she asked for help Maybe I am nuts but I think she cares a lot but having someone care for her like I do freaks here… She has never had a guy like me in her life. I do not control or ask much of her just for her to take care of her business… She always says she is testing me to see if I am hiding my intention.. I guess, I would jump at the chance to be with her forever but I would never confess this her.. I have told many times I care a lot about her, but that is all I have said. I do not understand why she would keep testing me to see my reaction to some of her comments.. I think she is scared of me as I said I am totally different than any of other boyfriends… this type of statement get more intense after she talks to her sister. It is like her one sister does not want her to be happy… Maybe I am nuts what say you??
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