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Friend gone rogue---with the boyfriend


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Posted

I have two close friends from my high school days (we are in our 30's now). The three of us hang out all the time, even now as adults. Anyway, our friend is in a new relationship of about 5 months. I should also point out that this is her first boyfriend...ever.

 

Moving along...she used to call us numerous times a day to see how we were and what we were up to. We'd make plans to do something at least 2-4 times per week.

 

Ever since this friend of ours has had this new boyfriend, she has completely dropped off the radar. I should point out that while my other friend and I were both in relationships and she was not, she would complain all the time to either one of us that we were ditching our friends for our men. Well, isn't that in interesting...

 

Since she's been with this guy, we hear from her 1-2 times within a 2-3 week period.

 

I realize this may sound immature and high school-ish, but she has completely, 100% dropped us as friends. The ONLY time she seems to reach out is when her boyfriend is unavailable. Quite frankly, we both feel disposable, disrespected and 'a last option'.

 

Do you agree that she should be making a little bit more of an effort to maintain this friendship with us?

Posted

So in the past, she made all the effort and now that she's not doing all the work, you're angry with her?

  • Like 4
Posted

Sorry, but you're the one being selfish. You need to understand that this is her first legitimate relationship and when push comes to shove she's going to pick him over you. Hell, when I visit my best friend in college sometimes he'll spend more time with her than me. It's part of growing up, and you should be more grateful that she's happy and proactive in reaching out to her. Just my two cents

  • Like 1
  • 3 weeks later...
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Posted

So it's now been a month since we've last heard from our friend. Are we still the ones being selfish?

Posted
So it's now been a month since we've last heard from our friend. Are we still the ones being selfish?

 

but you arent calling her either......deb

  • Like 3
Posted

It's her first boyfriend. I would chill.

 

If I ever get my first girlfriend, I'd probably be doing the same thing. I'm sure my friends will understand.

Posted

I wouldn''t call it as going rogue by any means, but seeing as how he's her first boyfriend, I wouldn't worry too much about it. Sure it sucks, but it's a new experience for her, as it would be for anyone in her shoes.

Posted

What happens when you, y'know, call her?

 

Sounds to me like she was putting in all the effort out of desperation since she had no one else before. Now that she actually has someone who is (hopefully) putting in equal effort into her, she sees no reason to continue this one-sided relationship with you.

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