medasist Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It seems because I have started this approach, men just DON'T want to date me! It just doesn't make sense to me. And its not even that I say anything about it, I just wait to do it. So frustrating, any words of wisdom when it comes to this? Seems like an oxymoron to me. They don't want you if you screw them and they don't want you if you don't screw them. 1
Soxfaninfl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It seems because I have started this approach, men just DON'T want to date me! It just doesn't make sense to me. And its not even that I say anything about it, I just wait to do it. So frustrating, any words of wisdom when it comes to this? Seems like an oxymoron to me. They don't want you if you screw them and they don't want you if you don't screw them. How long do you make them wait?
Author medasist Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 Not that any of them have ever stuck around for it, but in my head I'm thinking only a few weeks. Sex is important to me too, I would never make a man wait months and months.
RedRobin Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It is tough to find a relationship that lasts... At least you have your self-respect and aren't inviting a lot of drama into your life by having sex too soon or just to try to secure a relationship. Makes things easier if it doesn't work out...
iKING Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Do what you feel is the right thing to do and don't worry about the rest. Eventually you'll find someone who either feels the same way you do on the matter or respects your choice. Sex is much greater when It's special. If men you're dating don't have the same outlook that's their problem, not yours. Be yourself. 1
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Just means the guys that had sex with you in the past and left you didn't want you for anything more than sex, and the guys now that won't stick around....didn't want anything more than sex. Pretty complicated! Most guys don't want to date, they want to get laid...so they'll date someone while getting laid for a short then move on. Look for guys who are looking for relationships, you should be talking about this not waiting to "see what happens" and If they'll "stick around". Without talking to them about, maybe they think you're playing games...maybe they just think you're an easy girl putting up a front (I know...women love to hear that) or maybe they just feel like you're not what they're looking for and move on.
Soxfaninfl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Not that any of them have ever stuck around for it, but in my head I'm thinking only a few weeks. Sex is important to me too, I would never make a man wait months and months. I waited a month and a half for my last girlfriend. She wanted to wait and I was ok with it. I never wanted her to feel pressured. She want to take thing slow, and that was fine. If these men don't want to wait then they aern't worth your time. 2
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It seems because I have started this approach, men just DON'T want to date me! It just doesn't make sense to me. And its not even that I say anything about it, I just wait to do it. So frustrating, any words of wisdom when it comes to this? Seems like an oxymoron to me. They don't want you if you screw them and they don't want you if you don't screw them. And what is it that you're talking about on your dates for crying out loud?....how are women always so clueless? I swear, I imagine some retarded robot conversation. Girl: Boop boop beep ::wink:: Guy:Beep boop boop ::smile:: Girl: bewp bewp ::smile:: Guy: bewp bewp bewp bewp bewp ::wink: ::third date:: Girl: Bewp bew bew? ..... Guy: Initiating evacuation sequence....sex not initializing...abort abort abort! Girl: bewwwwwwwww... 3
ltjg45 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 If you don't want to give it up, OP, you don't have to. If they have a problem with that, let them find something else. Any male that bolts because you don't want to get laid is males only wanting just that and nothing more. Apparently, it is working pretty well for you. 1
iKING Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 And what is it that you're talking about on your dates for crying out loud?....how are women always so clueless? I swear, I imagine some retarded robot conversation. Girl: Boop boop beep ::wink:: Guy:Beep boop boop ::smile:: Girl: bewp bewp ::smile:: Guy: bewp bewp bewp bewp bewp ::wink: ::third date:: Girl: Bewp bew bew? ..... Guy: Initiating evacuation sequence....sex not initializing...abort abort abort! Girl: bewwwwwwwww... Things Nick Swardson would say. That was pretty hilarious.
SJC2008 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It seems because I have started this approach, men just DON'T want to date me! It just doesn't make sense to me. And its not even that I say anything about it, I just wait to do it. So frustrating, any words of wisdom when it comes to this? Seems like an oxymoron to me. They don't want you if you screw them and they don't want you if you don't screw them. Come on now when I see these threads I feel like I'm the only man on the planet who will wait for sex. Infact, I WANT to wait for sex! I'm not going to date a woman who's going to give it up to just anyone, make me work for it. I slept with the last woman I dated on our 5th date which covered a span of about 40 days to be exact. And it was one of those things where it just happened so if it didn't I still would of asked her out again.
iKING Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Come on now when I see these threads I feel like I'm the only man on the planet who will wait for sex. Infact, I WANT to wait for sex! I'm not going to date a woman who's going to give it up to just anyone, make me work for it. I slept with the last woman I dated on our 5th date which covered a span of about 40 days to be exact. And it was one of those things where it just happened so if it didn't I still would of asked her out again. Don't worry, you're not the only one. Anything worth having is worth working for. 1
SJC2008 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Not that any of them have ever stuck around for it, but in my head I'm thinking only a few weeks. Sex is important to me too, I would never make a man wait months and months. Trust me any man who won't wait even a few weeks isn't worth your time. That's not even long lol. 2
outsidethebox Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Why is sex the answer? She said they leave either way. Doesn't that rule it out as a factor? Why is her personality not the common factor instead of bashing men? 1
trevzilla Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 3 weeks is nothing, I could easily wait that long. You've just weeded out the guys you don't want anyway...you know the ones who aren't going to stick around after they have sex with you.
RedRobin Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 What kind of activities do you do on dates? I tend to avoid the standard coffee-dinner-drinks routine... even for a first date. If you aren't already, try something that taps into your mutual interests. Plus those things are usually free. Well, they are for me. I do a lot of outdoor activities. Even going for a walk in a public park, or taking a stroll through a local library or bookstore is a lot better than coffee.
Author medasist Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 Why is sex the answer? She said they leave either way. Doesn't that rule it out as a factor? Why is her personality not the common factor instead of bashing men? I think I have a fantastic personality, I'm laid back, funny and know how to give a man space, mostly because I want it too! I may be a little guarded, but who the hell isn't? And as for what every one else is saying, maybe I was looking past the whole they aren't worth it thing, because I want them to be. Too bad I'm not into girls, cause I would totally just be a lesbian. Men say women are complicated, but I think it really is the other way around.
Author medasist Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 What kind of activities do you do on dates? I tend to avoid the standard coffee-dinner-drinks routine... even for a first date. If you aren't already, try something that taps into your mutual interests. Plus those things are usually free. Well, they are for me. I do a lot of outdoor activities. Even going for a walk in a public park, or taking a stroll through a local library or bookstore is a lot better than coffee. The last guy I met, we went for a drive and had really good conversation and that was that. He actually asked me earlier today, which is why I started the thread, when I was going to show him a "good time"
Estate Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It seems because I have started this approach, men just DON'T want to date me! It just doesn't make sense to me. And its not even that I say anything about it, I just wait to do it. So frustrating, any words of wisdom when it comes to this? Seems like an oxymoron to me. They don't want you if you screw them and they don't want you if you don't screw them. Don't know how long you are waiting but after several dates there's nothing wrong with bringing up the topic of sex/relationships. Not in a really heavy way but a casual conversation to see where each other is at. If you like to wait until X time, let him know and ask if he's looking for something casual or to see if a relationship might form. While waiting is sometimes a good filter for guys just looking to hook up... it can be frustrating too when a girl just doesn't want sex, doesn't talk about it and comes across like she has no sexual desire for a guy... might make him feel like it's going nowhere. 1
Soxfaninfl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 The last guy I met, we went for a drive and had really good conversation and that was that. He actually asked me earlier today, which is why I started the thread, when I was going to show him a "good time" Wow what a douchebag. I'm sorry you have to deal with men like this. I can see why your frustrated. I would tell him that his hand can do that for him.
ltjg45 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 The last guy I met, we went for a drive and had really good conversation and that was that. He actually asked me earlier today, which is why I started the thread, when I was going to show him a "good time" Don't bother responding to him. That was quite rude of him. Esp. since he was the one who is supposed to be giving you "a good time" and all he has for a date was a drive?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Do what you feel is the right thing to do and don't worry about the rest. Eventually you'll find someone who either feels the same way you do on the matter or respects your choice. Sex is much greater when It's special. If men you're dating don't have the same outlook that's their problem, not yours. Be yourself. I'm liking your presence on the board iking. Good advice again.
Casablanca Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Not that any of them have ever stuck around for it, but in my head I'm thinking only a few weeks. Sex is important to me too, I would never make a man wait months and months. Keep at it, the men aren't worth your time or aren't that interested if they wont wait a few weeks
iKING Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I'm liking your presence on the board iking. Good advice again. I'm glad I could be of some service.
RedRobin Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 The last guy I met, we went for a drive and had really good conversation and that was that. He actually asked me earlier today, which is why I started the thread, when I was going to show him a "good time" sooo, he's not so smooth in the tact department. I've had one or two who were like that. If it were me, I would have laughed and said "I thought I already did!" and see if he gets the hint. If he kept at it, then I'd have to be more blunt. Here is the thing though... you realize that going for a drive with a guy you just met may not be a good idea?? For safety reasons. How did you meet him? I'm not trying to put this on you.. not at all... just want to make sure you aren't putting yourself in a precarious position. 1
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