Author Sugarkane Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 No, it wasn't. I was married, in a good position financially, had several years of good health/fitness behind me, and a solid network of support (including a husband). If you take care of yourself it doesn't make a difference. I had my boys at 19, 25, and 34. The last one was the easiest to recover from. Have you considered how you'll work to feed a baby though? Or what you'll do if something goes wrong and one of you gets sick? What about 16, 17, 18 years from now? Those are the kind of things I wanted to bring up with my boyfriend. Instead of his lets just Wing it approach. It seems you need a tonne of money to afford one, but yet you also need to take time off when the baby is a new born.
Author Sugarkane Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 That's your concern? My weight is the same as pre-babies. My life, otoh, is completely different! My mother had us later in life at The time. She didnt have kids young and never got back to her pre baby weight, despite exercising etc.
outsidethebox Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I just saw your post count. I thought you were unbelievably naive but not after 3000 posts.
Author Sugarkane Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 I just saw your post count. I thought you were unbelievably naive but not after 3000 posts. Well how do you become the opposite of naive?
tbf Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 It's not hard. I've had three kids and I've never been overweight either. There are current pics in my profile if you want to see just how silly your concern is. Again, this should be the least of your concern. It's the very last thing you should be worrying about. How you'll take care of another person for the rest of your life matters a whole hell of a lot more than whether you'll get chubby.Yes, two monster sized boys and my weight's the same. As long as people don't gain too much weight during pregnancy, you can lose any extra weight in a few months with a decent exercise regime. It takes a bit longer for your skin to return to normal but as long as you don't gain too much weight, your skin should be fine. I was lucky not to get any stretch marks but part of this was because of good hydration (drank plenty of water) and using an all natural heavy body butter (shea and cocoa combined) that doesn't have detrimental ingredients that would pass through the placental barrier. Still using it now since my skin's dry. As far as joking about pregnancy, deliberate pregnancy sex is primal! 2
outsidethebox Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Well how do you become the opposite of naive? it's a different category after 3000 posts. You know what you're doing. 1
Author Sugarkane Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 it's a different category after 3000 posts. You know what you're doing. How? I have tried to think about such consequences unlike my boyfriend.
Author Sugarkane Posted March 13, 2013 Author Posted March 13, 2013 That's your concern? My weight is the same as pre-babies. My life, otoh, is completely different! I guess what us even more scary is if like my cousins wife, you would have to get your vagine cut open and stitched up. Painful stuff. I'm not going to be impulsive and just go ahead without thinking/ talking things through. If anything I over analyze things.
oldschool1 Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 Sugarkane, Some people play "papal roulette", but that doesn't necessarily mean that they want babies; it may mean that they really enjoy going bareback! Your preoccupation with the physicality of childbirth should be separated from the other, more pressing issue: what is going on in your relationship. It is not clear that your boyfriend is dying to have babies with you, get married and be together forever. His jokes suggest a possible interest in these things, but who the heck knows. The only way to ascertain this info is to have a mature, calm discussion with him about this. If you don't think you can talk about this seriously with your boyfriend, then you're probably not ready to be having babies with him (or to have unprotected sex with him). I definitely understand your nervousness about having babies. I am 37 and childless, and I am freaked out too! Pregnancy changes your body drastically short term, but the longterm ramifications are more significant: living for someone else, financial concerns, overcrowding your home and schedule, stress on your relationship with the father, worrying about your kids' health/grades/social lives, etc... These longterm issues are what loveshack posters want you to see here. Having a really solid relationship with your partner is a crucial component, and you both have to be ready. I know multiple people who accidentally got pregnant in non-marital relationships and couldn't be happier. Still, they were older and had discussed these things beforehand. Many of my friends who were super anal about birth control (no pun intended!) in their 20s are more cavalier now. These people only have sex in committed relationships and are actually ready to have babies should pregnancy occur. I don't know that this is the best way of going about it, but it's a wee bit more planned than what you're talking about. Talk to your boyfriend! 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 13, 2013 Posted March 13, 2013 I was having sex with my ex and told him I missed my pill and he needed to use a condom and he said "why don't you wanna make a baby tonight?" I said no but I still let him go condomless
FitChick Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Offer to babysit for friends and family and bring the boyfriend along. Let him see what it's like. If he can't handle it for a few hours, tell him to get a vasectomy.
unevenXchange Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 I find it scary all the gaining weight and eventually labour, is all quite scary to me. omg, yes! so scary... all men have to do is sit back and watch women gain weight and wait for the baby to be born...
unevenXchange Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 Thanks. If only there was some kind of guarantee that a guy would stay with you and not leave while pregnant. I have a family friend that was married and her pregnancy planned and her husband still left her, to "play The field". Why get married in The first place? I'm coming in late, so I'm just responding to posts that are sooo similar to my threads and posts. I always wonder the very some thing... Why get married in the first place if someone is going to stray or when you know that you may become fat and your boyfriend/husband may end up straying all because you're big as a cow with his child.
Author Sugarkane Posted March 14, 2013 Author Posted March 14, 2013 Offer to babysit for friends and family and bring the boyfriend along. Let him see what it's like. If he can't handle it for a few hours, tell him to get a vasectomy. Unfortunately the family that do have babies live too far away from me. I also don't know what to say to them because I only see them rarely. I wish that wasn't the case.
Treasa Posted March 14, 2013 Posted March 14, 2013 The pregnancy and labor parts are the easy bit. Actually raising a child? LOL Borrow someone's three-year-old for a week and hand the kid off to your BF to raise. I mean, if something were to happen to you if you had a child, he'd have to take care of it. Oh, and make sure you're on birth control as well as using a condom. I have a friend who was only using a condom, it broke, and the girl got pregnant.
zanzi Posted March 17, 2013 Posted March 17, 2013 you need to take responsibility for your own protection during sex. That means that if you don't want a child there are many options you can take. the pill, the depo provera or the injection, which will prevent pregnancy for three months until your next injection, the implant, which can prevent it for up to five years (I think) and a copper coil. You need to go to a sexual health clinic and make an appointment to talk about which form of protection would be best for you. pkease do so. and heres a bunny rabbit. 1
Author Sugarkane Posted April 9, 2013 Author Posted April 9, 2013 it's a different category after 3000 posts. You know what you're doing. I was re reading this post. Well that's a bit rich coming from someone with less than 500. At least Ive tried and put myself out there, unlike you.
miss_jaclynrae Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 That's not funny or cute. Talking about babies is, but the whole "let's not use birth control" thing is beyond a joke. 1
Els Posted April 9, 2013 Posted April 9, 2013 That's not funny or cute. Talking about babies is, but the whole "let's not use birth control" thing is beyond a joke. For real. Reeks of irresponsibility and just trying to get what he wants (ie bareback). A man who REALLY wanted children would be spending a lot of time talking about the actual practical facts of raising a child and desiring to get his partner's opinions on that, instead of going straight to the birth control.
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