kaylan Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 LOL! We're not talking about friendships that have ended. These are men I am still friends with. I can't imagine the guys I was friends with, who I also slept with in my 20s and 30s, are still waiting around for sex. Many of them have gone on to get married, divorced, and remarried in that time. I'm flattered that you think I actually would have a hold on anyone that spans that time frame, but much as my goofy feminine ego would love to agree with you, the sane, objective old woman in me knows better. Again, sex contributed to the bond. Read my last post
Necris Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I'm okay with being friends with women. Then again I don't have the friend zone issue once she knows I'm interested and she has turned me down she will not want to be my friend, and will naturally avoid me.
RedRobin Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I'm still good friends with a guy I dated for over a year. I helped him find his current girlfriend, who I'm also now friends with. The three of us went out to dinner last Friday. They are talking marriage. What can I say Kaylan? These things change as you mature and you realize there are some people you really just want to keep in your life (and vice versa) even if you aren't compatible as partners. No matter who it was who did the rejecting. If there was no betrayal, then I see no reason why that can't be a possibility after a period of healing and readjustment. 1
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 There's a couple of male friends of mine that I know of, that seem completely content in being Friendzoned by women.....some of the women I've seen them with, some cute, some very attractive, too. This one woman and guy, they had put pics of themselves up at a concert, one pose with them doing the "back to back" pose....a few other "non-intimate" poses. Then I'd see another guy with 2 women sitting in his lap, laughing and having fun. But what I don't understand is....how is it these men can't stand not dating these women? Seriously... I can't date ALL of them. Are you really suggesting that I can't be friends with a woman without sexual attraction?
Eternal Sunshine Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I am still friends (platonic friends) with a guy I casually dated and slept with last year. I have zero feelings for him and we talk a lot about people we like and/or are dating. We both realise that romantically we are a bad match. But I am one of those people that doesn't get super attached just because I had sex with someone. Sex in itself doesn't cloud my judgement.
gaius Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I can't imagine myself ever not being bothered by seeing an ex with another guy like what RedRobin is talking about, that must be due to lower testosterone. There's only one I talked to extensively after breakup and I think I don't care, get annoyed when she wants my attention too much, encourage her to date, then start getting bothered when she actually does. Back to the OP, testosterone isn't the reason for every case though. Every relationship is political in a way, those guys are getting something out of it. Maybe they fall into the 33% of people studies find have trouble with physical intimacy and are masking their bizarreness by taking pics with attractive women. Making their social circle think “he's trying to sleep with her” rather than “what's wrong with him? Never dating or having a girlfriend?”. Maybe they've figured out that having attractive women around you that value your company arouses other women, so they're using them for that. Maybe they're just confident and biding their time, not being phased by the rejection. Or maybe they're gay, or have some tastes in women outside the mainstream view. That usually doesn't matter though if they have a lot of testosterone. There's a million things that could be going on really, I'd give myself carpal tunnel typing them all out.
Author irc333 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 I am still friends (platonic friends) with a guy I casually dated and slept with last year. I have zero feelings for him and we talk a lot about people we like and/or are dating. We both realise that romantically we are a bad match. But I am one of those people that doesn't get super attached just because I had sex with someone. Sex in itself doesn't cloud my judgement. You know what's strange? I never had sex with a female friend. There are some guys out there that probably wish they could have a FWB at the very least TO have sex with.....but even their own female friends wouldn't even has sex with them. Believe me, there are some guys out there that can't even score a FWB, even though they'd love to. "Okay, so you won't date me? How about just casual sex then? No....darn it!" LOL So it's kind of a wash.
Author irc333 Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 Seriously... I can't date ALL of them. Are you really suggesting that I can't be friends with a woman without sexual attraction? Sometimes, there are just some women you can't be friends with, it's frustrating , because I find the ones that I have great chemistry with, meaning, we share the same values, "Get" our same brand of unique humor, references to pop culture, .....we're easily compatible on SOO many levels...I become pretty well attracted to that woman. However, every time...it's never mutual. You'd think it'd make sense for me to date such a woman who "gets me", but it's never mutual.
ls32ssibm Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 A guy with female friends is probably going to have trouble if he gets into a relationship. If there is one thing women hate, it's other women. So good luck with that. Women get much more out of platonic friendship than men do. Personally, I don't get off being an accessory so I don't bother (anymore) trying to be friends with girls.
SadSouls Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 A guy with female friends is probably going to have trouble if he gets into a relationship. If there is one thing women hate, it's other women. So good luck with that. Women get much more out of platonic friendship than men do. Personally, I don't get off being an accessory so I don't bother (anymore) trying to be friends with girls. This much is true. I've been with my girlfriend for six months now and my two best friends are girls (one of which I've known since the age of just four). She hates it and whenever there are texts on my phone from them, she'll get annoyed. She hates it when I tweet them or when they write on my wall on Facebook.
Damia Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Friendship only works when both people genuinely want to be friends. When one is secretly attracted, it can't work. I would accept the friend zone if I didn't like the chick. Is this the way most single men think? There is a guy at work who has recently lost his wife to cancer.I don't find him attractive and I am not interested in a romantic relationship with him. But I'm interested in how he is doing as a friend ,is he going to get the wrong message?
dj572 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I'm sure it's different for every guy but here is how it has happened for me. After my diborce I met a wonderful woman. We did go out and had a wonderful time. It was funny how easily we clicked. She made it clear she only wanted to be friends but I thought I'll do that and maybe she will give me a chance. We would hang out and became good friends. Tjrough hanging out with her I realized we were not "couple" material but we are still great friends. In the case with her we are great friends and we continue to be to this day. She is married now and we still talk. We don't get to hang out as much but I comsider her a great friend but I am okay with not dating her or sleeping with her because it would destroy the friendship. So yes with the right woman being friends is perdextly fine. I am actially at a point in my life I would just rather have a friend and not date anybody because I don't want to deal with drama.
El Brujo Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 So, why are some people so hung up about this friendzone nonsense in the first place? If you're the kind of person who obsesses over your online popularity, you seriously need to get a life. For the record, I don't give a fart in a whirlwind who friends me, or even how many stars my meetup group gets. My REAL life matters much more to me.
crude Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Maybe these guys regard women as people who they can respect and be friends with, rather than objects. Radical idea, I know. Hey! Are you crazy, posting from a mental institution?
aed Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 friendzone= guy is deep in love with a girl and doenst now how to make it happen and hopes by playing her best male friend that she will fall for him. ofcourse some men dont mind: but that is not a friendzone. then they are friends with that girl (= they dont have any romantic interest in that girl, means: they dont find that girl atractive). Or some one with pua intentions (so the hot girlm that doesnt want me may have hot friends i can hook up with.) most (masculine) men dont have deep and close female friends. because their worlds and interest are different from eachother. Sorry ladies but guys that see you as a friend, mostly means he doesnt find you attractive enough to become his gf or fwb. As a guy (and I know from more male friends of mine) we see female friends more as a little sister or some on the guys then a close friend.
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