turkeyman Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Girlfriend of 3 years kicked me out a month ago. I've done my best to be nice and courteous to her. I told her last Friday that I thought we needed to not talk for a long while. She agreed. Well, she text me yesterday and today stopped by while I was at a friends house to ask me how I was doing and tell me what she's up to. I guess she's starting to sweat because I haven't been trying to get in touch with her. I'm going to keep the no contact up until she thinks she's lost me altogether. She broke up with me because apparently I treated her badly and left her alone all the time. She still says she loves me. This is all weird. She's also seeing a new guy, but I act like I don't care. What do you guys think?
Compromize Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Sounds like she just wants to string you along so she has a backup plan in case her and her new man don't work out. You are better than that! Did she tell you how she felt about the way you were treating her or about her being alone or give you a chance to fix/change those issues? If not I would have to say don't play the game and go NC at all costs. If she really cares about having what you had back she will make that clear. I am doing the same thing myself and although I don't have any clue if she has someone else or not or how I would deal with that I would just stay far far away and NC. Let her plead her case in no uncertain terms if she does want you back and if she does make sure you work on the way you treated her (or her perception of it) and don't leave her alone!! If you really love/loved her you want that time with her, now more than ever you probably realize this! Maybe she is just messing with your head and wants an ego boost or maybe she really is regretting her decision. The only way to know for sure is to NC until A: She leaves you alone or B: She expresses in no uncertain terms she was wrong and wants you back. If she does want this please man for my sake make sure you work your ass off to fix the issue that lead you and her to this point! I won't get the chance myself but I can't fix my ex's problems. Keep your chin up bro.
mammasita Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Sounds like you need to stop being available to contact. 2
Author turkeyman Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Thanks guys, Yea she told me about these problems before, and I kind of just blew them off. Now I'm regretting it more than ever, knowing I took her for granted. I want her back, but right now I don't think she knows I want her back because I've been playing it cool. I'm not making myself available for her to contact. I've completed deleted her from my life. Deleted phone number, text convo, facebook, etc. I don't plan on contacting her at all until she says she wants me back(if that ever happens.) We were positive we were going to marry eachother, but I froze up over the past few months and started going out with friends more, and abandoning her at home on some nights, simply because I wasn't ready to settle down. Now I think I am ready, but it's probably too late.
philosia Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I had the exact problem with my ex. He kept contacting me even though I was telling him every time to stop... until I began to ignore him for good and then he dropped the big words: that he wants me back etc... (Now we are trying to reconcile but my mind is a mess, I don't know if I am capable of doing this.) I asked him why was he so persistent in contacting me when it was obvious that I didn't want to talk to him and I never initiated... he admitted that he was selfish and first of all he wanted to know if I missed him... that really hurts... He was just feeding me bread crumbs... pfff....
Chi townD Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Thanks guys, Yea she told me about these problems before, and I kind of just blew them off. Now I'm regretting it more than ever, knowing I took her for granted. I want her back, but right now I don't think she knows I want her back because I've been playing it cool. As well you should. Because HE HAS A NEW MAN IN HER LIFE!! Look, you know what you did wrong in the relationship. Learn from that. Chalk it up to lessons learned. And apply what you've learned to a new relationship. Dude, if she wanted to be with you, then she wouldn't be with this new guy now. As far as you know, she's still with this guy, right? So, you may ask, "Then, why is she still bothering me?" Because, she knows that you know about this other guy. She feels guilty that she moved on and you didn't. So, she would LOVE to have you in the friend zone to ease some of that guilt. She would love to say, " Oh Look! We're not together anymore but we're still really good friends! I guess the break up was a good thing after all!" 1
mutant Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) Girlfriend of 3 years kicked me out a month ago. I've done my best to be nice and courteous to her. I told her last Friday that I thought we needed to not talk for a long while. She agreed. Well, she text me yesterday and today stopped by while I was at a friends house to ask me how I was doing and tell me what she's up to. I guess she's starting to sweat because I haven't been trying to get in touch with her. I'm going to keep the no contact up until she thinks she's lost me altogether. I bet she conveniently left out some information like she is going to cuddle and bang the new guy later on in the day/night. How long are you going to wait for her? A month, 3 months, an year? or till you are invited to her wedding? Don't you think its a bit embarrassing to wait on the sidelines for an Ex to come back to you after she gets bored with the new guy? You probably think you are the one playing games by acting cool but you aren't: SHE IS! You have strategically positioned yourself as a fallback guy under her manipulation and you can't see it. It's time to grow a pair and cut your losses. Going strict NC on her is an appropriate way to begin. Edited March 6, 2013 by mutant
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 No Contact doesn't only operate from your end. You must also prevent any and all ways for her to be able to contact you - whichever way she tries. It could be by turning up to places she knows you will be at, (Like a bar every Friday night, or the Gym Tuesday evenings, that kind of thing) or even get a buddy to act as 'a go-between and test the waters, pass messages.... Cut it all off at the knees. Do NOT fall for breadcrumbs. Do not respond, even to be polite. no Contact means exactly that. Complete, all round 100% avoidance. <----> >----< To-from, from-to.
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