scipio Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 My ex girlfriend broke up with me a few weeks ago, she said that even though she had feelings for me she didn't want to get hurt again (i wasn't paying enough attention to her and she felt it wouldn't change),...The tricky part is that we go to the same grad school and sometimes its hard to avoid each other. She wants to remain on speaking terms,..I told her that I will be cordial but just seeing her hurts, so i can't be friends with her. She said she understood. However she seems to be going out of her way to chat with me and get my attention. I'd be talking to with a friend in the hall and as she walks by she'll stare at me until I look up, then wave hello. Or as I'm dropping of a carton of soda at a crowded party, she'll yell my name to get my attention then jokingly ask me if I'm the new delivery guy. Another time,..a female friend of mine was leaving a bar and she pulled her aside and asked how I was doing, and told my friend that she misses me. The problem is I don't know what on earth her motivations are. I'd like to think they aren't sinister,...like she's just trying to get an ego boost, but i'm not sure. It really hurts to see her,..and I'm trying to move on. But every time i see her its like a knife in my gut. And I don't want to have another conversation with her about not being friends.
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Practise selective deafness. Teens are usually very good at this....... Avoid eye contact and when she waves 'hello', just shake your head lightly and look skywards, you know, like this - - but without the smile. Let her know through your body language that you don't consider her behaviour funny or clever. And let her friends know (as she asks them) that you find her behaviour childish and puerile. What is it about 'No Contact' she doesn't 'get'? Be a little more hostile than you'd really like to be. I'm sorry, but it's going to mean you having to be not-so-nice to her....
Author scipio Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 That would be difficult for me to do. Part of me believes that she's acting like this way because she really does miss me...and she doesn't know how to react to the situation. I know for a fact she's not trying to be funny or clever,..she's not that childish. And I don't want it to be awkward,..I'll be seeing her almost daily for some time,..and being mean doesn't sit well with me.
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Well, in that case - put up with more of the same. But realise you subject yourself willingly to the treatment. See, guys who get dumped, don't get it. in order to move on, you have to change certain attitudes, certain aspects of yourself. it's called "self-preservation" and it needs to be done to protect yourself from the constant pain of repeated exposure to the source of your pain. If you walk across a beach in the morning, the sand is cool. You can stand it on bare feet. but later, when it gets too hot to handle - you put sandals on. Same beach, same sand, different circumstances. You need to protect yourself this time round.
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