Mystery2Me Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Hello All, Hope that everyone has at least a single bright spot today. It is a good day in the divorce kingdom for me, and I have joyfully had peace of mind the last several weeks. As a brief update the divorce should be final soon, and due to the courts sometimes tricky schedule will not become bound to a specfic day. So here I am today fully concious and aware....that I am standing fully on my own a Single woman (still there will be ups and downs). And it is a mix of emotions I feel. My mind has accepted that because I am single NOW I am safe....Wow! That was a big one. It was both joyful and sad at the same time to realize that being the good and faithful wife....was surley slowly killing me. What this means is the real grief begins, I now have to let go of the WIFE I was for over 15 yrs. The wife was absolute in sustaining a loving marriage, and did the best she could and paid the ultimate price when her husband chose to leave. My job as the single lady, is to honor the passing of such a graceful and strong wife...she has earned her rest and nothing will tarnish/mock her legacy. She was a young wife, yes shaky and nervous because she was unsure she was up to the job. Folks, but let me tell you she excelled as a wife in advocating and loving her family. Goodbye to the lovely wife I was, and thank you for holding me up/keeping me safe as I became single. Never will I forget you, or all that you have done. You enjoyed many amazing wonderful things and were greatly loved. My Dearest Lady you have earned your rest, because of you I can take it from here. All My Love~Mystery 9
MsOptimist Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I love this post! It shares so much of what I'm feeling. I loved my role of being a wife and I still maintain that I was a damn good wife - but, as so many of us have learned, that doesn't always matter in the end. Sure there were things I could have done differently or better - no one is perfect. But I loved unconditionally and as best I could and held value in my marriage. My court date is looming just under 2 weeks away now, unless it gets changed again. I heard a phrase several days ago that has really stuck with me lately and helped me if I was feeling the lows for whatever reason. The phrase was, "give yourself permission to move on." That is exactly what I am striving to do, to give myself compassion and permission to take steps forward and away from my former life. 5
revitup Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 You ladies are so cool.I am very happy about the mindset seen in your posts,nothing but strength.It's a great thing. Mystery,you have a certain poetic talent showing in your obituary to the wife you once were.It was kinda cool and still very profound. Anyway,in a few months I will get you to help me write mine.It is a NC law to go "separated" for 1 yr and mine isn't until August 15th.I wish I could have mine yesterday! STBXWW sent me a text today,"I hope you're feeling better"? What does that mean?If there were still pay phones,I would give her a quarter! Anyway,carry on Mystery,carry on. REVITUP 1
Grumpybutfun Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Really healthy way of looking at it. May the wife rest in peace and the single lady find peace. Grumps
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