Sososad Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Ok so who am I foolin' I'm doing no contact to hopefully get her back People are going to say I'm crazy but what Can I do I still want her there is no point blowing up her Cell or mailbox. She knows I want her I gotta wait . I believe she still loves me And hopefully that will help her return. It's not no contact by choice as such but it's all I got . She's sent me a couple of texts and I've ignored them They were pure breadcrumbs or anger! So I'm nearly a month now no contact bar our one meeting .. So where do things go from here ..? Will she miss me as time goes by Or would it be safe to say At the one month Marker she's already over the difficult part.. Yeah I know I'm gonna get flamed but why lie I'm fooling Only me.. Can anyone give me any advice I'm also struggling today not to contact hence why I'm here posting I'm nearly certain I won't break contact but I wish someone could give me some hope or a positive story of a ex coming back after time apart . Anyone ? Thank you for taking the time to read my jumble All replies will be read and welcomed
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 No Contact is Cold-Turkey Rehab for the heart. You're at the critical stage where the withdrawal symptoms are at their strongest. The best way to counteract this is to do the following (trust and believe me - it works): Turn off your PC. Have a good shower. Wear appropriate clothing to elements, grab some money, go for a good long walk. Start briskly. Go to a park, or anywhere green. Keep walking, but hold your head up and look straight ahead, never down at the ground. Whistle your favourite tune. Smile at everyone you pass. Grab a coffee and a doughnut, and go sit on a park bench. Breathe deeply, but slowly. Fix your eyes on one person, in the distance, and try to guess how old they are, what they do for a living, where they've just been, where they're going. make something up. Realise there are millions of people out there all going about their daily business, and some of those people - like you - are in 'Cold Turkey rehab for the heart.'. Smile. It's good to be alive. 4
Author Sososad Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Well Tara I'm honoured for one of your replies.. I'm gonna do that right now shower and out for a jog (Obviously getting dressed in between haha) What u think on my plan? I've nothing left but to let her go? What can I do ? Help me I really value your opinion .
cavalier99 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Yeah we all want them back (or what we had) until we don't. Keep on going. Cav 1
fancy feast Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Keep doing what you're doing, but drop the expectations. It's time to move on. There's no magic formula to make someone want you back, that part is entirely up to them. In the meantime, you gotta be the best you. IF she does come back, you'll be cool, calm and clearheaded, and able to make your choices rationally.
Author Sososad Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 I don't get why today is so hard .. Should I accept that in 1 month she wasn't Bothered contacting me either So me going no contact is pointless in theory !? Time wise what you guys think .. Not to get over but maybe accept they ain't coming back ?
cavalier99 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) I don't get why today is so hard .. Should I accept that in 1 month she wasn't Bothered contacting me either So me going no contact is pointless in theory !? Time wise what you guys think .. Not to get over but maybe accept they ain't coming back ? Well going NC wasn't pointless because YOU decided to do it. Doesn't matter if she decided this also. Be grateful breadcrumbs suck a*s. The point of this isn't to get her back, once they leave that emotional bond is broken and it rarely if ever comes back. Even in the odd chance she did come back it is never the same and generally doomed. YES accept it is over and she ISNT coming back. Hope will F up your recovery. The most important thing early in a BU are: 1. Hardcore NC 2. Kill all hope the best you can This will let you recover with time. Cav Edited March 6, 2013 by cavalier99
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I don't get why today is so hard .. Should I accept that in 1 month she wasn't Bothered contacting me either So me going no contact is pointless in theory !? No. Going No Contact is neither pointless in Theory - nor in Practice. Today is hard because - it is what it is. There is little predictable in these stages. It depends on the person, and what they determine to do about how they feel. If you Dwell and Wallow, (that well-known pair of Depression Specialists) It's going to feel like crap. If you F.u.cket and Face it, (that well-known pair of Life Management Specialists) You'll emerge a stronger person, more quickly. Time wise what you guys think .. Not to get over but maybe accept they ain't coming back ? Up to you. What do you think? How long do you give yourself to CHOOSE to stay in this low-down state? If you could give yourself a sensible time-span, which date would you pick? Now mark it on the calendar - and aim for it.
Author Sososad Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Guys thanks for the advice today didnt Go well I crumbled again.. First time in weeks but at least I didnt break it... If only I knew how she felt I'd know where I stood Stupid and foolish logic I know This site and some very stern users really help Us when were struggling. I gotta stop just passing days I'm Wasting months !!
Navajo46 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Guys thanks for the advice today didnt Go well I crumbled again.. First time in weeks but at least I didnt break it... If only I knew how she felt I'd know where I stood Stupid and foolish logic I know This site and some very stern users really help Us when were struggling. I gotta stop just passing days I'm Wasting months !! I honestly had the same problem, it is so hard. I am over the 3 month marker and not a word or peep. I must admit i was still holding on to hope for a month or two even though i would tell myself that i wasnt. You honestly must assume that she flat out doesnt care anymore. As much as that might sting, it will aid in recovery. Hope really is a huge deterrant in the healing process. I know at this point my ex doesnt care about me at all. I still miss the times we spent together but those are just memories now. Take care of yourself and good luck through the healing process.
mutant Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I'll tell you what you want to hear A girl friend I had for two years dumped me back in 2010 on the eve of new year like you I didn't beg and plead, it was somewhat mutual I went NC but after a month I sent her text just saying Hi Then asked her out and we had lovely dinner. A few more outs and we were back together It felt like I was a true winner a Genius BUT Nothing ever changed The same problems we had came to haunt us. But blindly I loved her and gave just about everything To save a relationship that I truly treasured. but come mid may last year she ended things with me This time round I pleaded, begged and swore to fight for her Which allowed me to be strung along for seven months During which we planned to get back together But come December last year she said she had found someone perhaps the Man of her dreams..(very much seemed like it). And now I know why I should stay NC. And ignore each of her attempts to stay in contact. I hope you don't follow the same route. 1
A n t h o n y Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I was in your spot about 3 months ago and guess what? I could have had my ex back but looking back I realized ex's are ex's for a reason. And honestly telling her no was easier than I thought it ever would be. You'll get there eventually, time is everything.
Author Sososad Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Thanks again for the advice Guess it's just a bad day One of many!
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