My Story, with a Twist. Read on...

[MCKDZ]

Hi All!

 

New member here, thanks for reading my post.

 

So I have started dating a co-worker, whom I've known since December. I know its not a terribly long time at all, however here is my back story..

 

Our work relationship was very professional, we only talked whenever our business units corresponded. Things were a bit more involving when I had to travel interstate on business for 2 weeks. We emailed and talked on numerous occasions, but always courteous and in a non-sexual way of course!

 

So I get her email when I arrive at the airport. Seeing as it was a Friday and we usually do end of work drinks at our local, I decided why not, all my colleagues will be there too. As the night grew young, we stayed a bit longer… Then wham, I get hit with a D&M.

 

She broke off her engagement... When I was interstate to be specific. Basically confessed that she had a huge attraction for me since she saw me, and that she was "already wanting to call the engagement off for a while", and thus meeting me made it "real" to her.

 

I won't lie. Physically and personality-wise, she is someone I've been looking for. Please don't assume that I intended to harm their relationship, as this is not the case. If she was feeling like this for a long time before she met me, then surely its not meant to be for them, and that he isn't deserving of her lifetime companionship?

 

We've only officially been out once, a very positive encounter, but no sex, just kissing and playful affection. I have huge respect for her, so this is not a big deal for me on a first date, as I think I can commit myself to her. I plan to take things slow but smart, obviously to the realisation that she just got out of a relationship. She's been very smitten to me ever since and things are moving positively. May I ask, am I that rebound guy? I don't think negatively, just a little cautious of things..

 

I just wanted to share this with you all, and if people had similar experiences or would like to offer any further advice, I'd like to hear them.

 

Thanks again for reading.

Cheers

Edited March 6, 2013 by MCKDZ

[MCKDZ]

Hey guys, an update.

 

So I continued work as per normal, saw her a few times, and all rosy. Then I saw her in the break out room and all of a sudden, she starts balling her eyes.

 

She told me that she had booked an appointment with her accountant, regarding selling their shop (they had a business together).

 

Should I back off a bit? I texted her today, comforted her (which she appreciated), but I'm concerned that things might be a little too fragile for her, and I don't want to stuff it, as she is an amazing girl (and beautiful!) so I really want to make this work. I'm just not sure how fast/slow I can go.

[TaraMaiden]

You should never, ever date a co-worker at all.

 

Be a friend, but never date them.

That way lies disaster.

 

There's only one thing worse than dating a co-worker.

 

Breaking up with them later on.

 

(God, the drama.....!)

[soccerrprp]

Yeah, I would give her some time to get things straightened out, but make certain that you make it clear that you are available if she needs you.

 

Be careful, she's going through a lot and her emotions may be dictating a lot of what she's doing now, so this could be good or it could be bad. I would be a little wary of the status of the relationship you two have right now. Play it cautiously and slow. Support her, but let her dictate what she needs, again, make it clear that you are willing and able.

 

Saying that, I agree with TM. Dating a co-worker is and can be complicated to say the least. But, since you seem determined....many relationships have developed through the workplace. Some stats show 15-20% relationships/marriage come from office affairs/romances. I personally would never, but we don't always choose to whom we are attracted and life is a gamble.

 

Good luck.

Edited March 7, 2013 by soccerrprp

[MCKDZ]

Thank you.

 

I appreciate the advice on the "don't sh*t where you eat" rule, but I've dated a co-worker in the past, and it actually went well. I can only imagine the drama but I have to think half glass full.

 

So I actually got a text from her just now, saying she misses me... soccerrprp, I took your advice and told her that I'm available if she needed me.

 

Should I ask her out on a second date this weekend, or is that too soon? Last date was week prior..

[TaraMaiden]

Yeah....

Just because you won your 'last soccer match' doesn't mean this one will be as good. 'Own Goal' springs to mind.

 

 

The amount of threads we've had on this forum, which essentially say "Help!! Disaster! Was dating a co-worker, but now it's all gone tits-up!"

 

but hey, of course, what would we know....?

 

In any case, yes.

it's way too early.

You will fall into the category of "Rebound Guy" if this goes too quickly.....

[iKING]

You could both be the rebound guy, and/or the grass is always greener guy.

 

It could go swimmingly, LTR, wife, kids, the whole shebang, but the odds are not in your favor. Enjoy it while it lasts and don't move too quickly. The girl just got out of an engagement, to try to get into another serious commitments would be a foolish move.

 

She's going to need time to figure out why her last one didn't turn out so well.

 

Take it as it comes but keep one foot out the door in case the crap starts flying.

[MCKDZ]

TaraMaiden, I wasn't slamming your advice. I'm not naive so I do thank you. I'm committed to making it right with this girl. I just feel that if I stop now, I may possibly hurt her, but mostly myself, because the feelings are there for sure.

 

iKing, that is exactly what I thought. She was unhappy for a long time, she describes me as a fun, outgoing and good quality guy. I'll take it. I prob won't take her out this weekend as now I think, its too soon...

 

Its my birthday next month, and I'm planning to have a group dinner. She knows about it somehow, but I haven't offered her an invitation yet. Good idea?