calgary Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 when she approached me this weekend I told her to go away, after i'd maintained no contact for 2 weeks. I was extremely drunk, I feel terrible.. luckily I don't remember too much of the conversation. I keep getting the urge to apologize for my behaviour and get in touch. I just need to fight off this urge. I dreamt about her last night. I'm just torturing myself constantly with thoughts of her seeing somebody else now it's at the 2 month mark. I still can't think of another girl, I just don't want to be with anyone else. it's really weird when girls are flirting with me and I just do not care at all. I must have only briefly seen her for 30 seconds this weekend and I barely remember it, I told her to go away. I was mean really. and it's been two weeks no contact since I last saw her and she asked me to text her. I'm trying. I just don't feel like i'm going to be happy without her. my friends and family have all told me they'll be really mad at me If I ever take her back.. I would be stupid.. she doesn't want me anyway so I don't know why i'm even talking about that. I'm just venting. help me.. when did you all start seeing it as acceptable to date again ? and when did you start feeling yourself again ? when did you start having fun again? do the dumpers still think of us daily ? will it affect her everytime she see's me? will me telling her to go away upset her ? just so many thoughts running through my mind at are all probably irrelevant . just a weak day.
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Oooh, please.... There comes a point where you cannot expect people to be strong for you. You have to reach down and find it in your own boots, man. Quit being pathetic, ok? 1
Author calgary Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 nice to hear from you again tara! I've missed your input!
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Yep - you can count on me - like the proverbial 'bad penny' I'll always crop up eventually.....
mcdo Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Hold on buddy. Get through today and you'll be proud tomorrow. When I read your thread the other day I kind of did a little fist pump going "f**k yeah, good job man!". Her actions deserved your reaction. Drunk or not I don't think I would have had the balls to do that! I dunno why you're finding it such a big deal though - maybe it's just that telling someone to f**k off is more socially acceptable in Ireland or something! 2
Author calgary Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Hold on buddy. Get through today and you'll be proud tomorrow. When I read your thread the other day I kind of did a little fist pump going "f**k yeah, good job man!". Her actions deserved your reaction. Drunk or not I don't think I would have had the balls to do that! I dunno why you're finding it such a big deal though - maybe it's just that telling someone to f**k off is more socially acceptable in Ireland or something! I think it's just the fact that I was so drunk, I barely remember half of it, just telling her to 'f**k off' .. it's making me cringe, I know I was too drunk, I probably looked a total mess to be honest. but i'd gone out with the guys and it's the first time we've all got together in months so it just felt awesome to let go and then when she saw me having a good time, not interested she came over and I was flat out loud and rude and it's not who I usually am, I've been so nice about this whole break up, she probably wasn't expecting it at all, I don't even know where it came from. i'll hang in there, no apologies on my part or anything... her best friend keeps texting me asking me to go party next weekend with her.. I don't even know what kind of game this is. it's all head games. she's just been texting me asking how life is and what i'm upto lately and stuff it's been going on for a couple of days now. my down fall Is my curiousity I should just ignore stuff like this. but i'm always intrigued as to whats going on. why would her best friend want to get in touch and meet up ? there is no logical explanation for that I don't think.
mcdo Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I think it's just the fact that I was so drunk, I barely remember half of it, just telling her to 'f**k off' .. it's making me cringe, I know I was too drunk, I probably looked a total mess to be honest. but i'd gone out with the guys and it's the first time we've all got together in months so it just felt awesome to let go and then when she saw me having a good time, not interested she came over and I was flat out loud and rude and it's not who I usually am, I've been so nice about this whole break up, she probably wasn't expecting it at all, I don't even know where it came from. i'll hang in there, no apologies on my part or anything... her best friend keeps texting me asking me to go party next weekend with her.. I don't even know what kind of game this is. it's all head games. she's just been texting me asking how life is and what i'm upto lately and stuff it's been going on for a couple of days now. my down fall Is my curiousity I should just ignore stuff like this. but i'm always intrigued as to whats going on. why would her best friend want to get in touch and meet up ? there is no logical explanation for that I don't think. Dunno about you but all I'm reading are positives! Your ex was an absolute bitch to come over and start talking to your friend (who was standing beside you right?). You handled the situation properly in my book. I've been in your friend's shoes before - a broken up couple arguing with me standing in the middle. Your friend did the right thing too by grabbing you and dragging you away. You deserve a little pat on the back and your friend deserves a big handshake. Your ex deserves the middle finger. That last point in bold (about your ex's best friend) is a puzzler. Maybe the friend is doing the ground work for your ex (i.e. trying to find out if you have moved on, etc.). Maybe the friend is trying to lure you to a party that your ex will be at - your ex will get to see if you have moved on or if you really have turned into an obnoxious drunk, etc. Or maybe the friend remembers you were a cool guy and has a newfound interest in you. Personally I don't think it's a good idea to be in touch with your ex's friends at all. I would probably avoid. But how you handle this ex's friend situation is up to you man! 1
Author calgary Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Dunno about you but all I'm reading are positives! Your ex was an absolute bitch to come over and start talking to your friend (who was standing beside you right?). You handled the situation properly in my book. I've been in your friend's shoes before - a broken up couple arguing with me standing in the middle. Your friend did the right thing too by grabbing you and dragging you away. You deserve a little pat on the back and your friend deserves a big handshake. Your ex deserves the middle finger. That last point in bold (about your ex's best friend) is a puzzler. Maybe the friend is doing the ground work for your ex (i.e. trying to find out if you have moved on, etc.). Maybe the friend is trying to lure you to a party that your ex will be at - your ex will get to see if you have moved on or if you really have turned into an obnoxious drunk, etc. Or maybe the friend remembers you were a cool guy and has a newfound interest in you. Personally I don't think it's a good idea to be in touch with your ex's friends at all. I would probably avoid. But how you handle this ex's friend situation is up to you man! I didn't know if maybe she just used my friend as a way of speaking to me ? one of her friends once let slip that when I introduced her to him roughly a year ago she found him really attractive. I told him that because I was loaded and he told me he'd never do that to me ever. who knows if he would or not ? wish id never said anything but it wasn't me it was the alcohol. she's only met him like 3 times too and all when I've gone and said hello to him so it was really weird. yea I really don't get what's going on there. the friend hasn't really asked me any personal questions though, nothing to do with my ex or if I've moved on etc. maybe she is just trying to lure me into meeting up with my ex again. probably best to leave it. i'm just having a bad day today, I think everybody has them. kind of hoping my ex will get in touch and I need to abandon that thought. still can't believe I had the courage to tell her to ' F**k off' I feel awful haha. I suppose in the scheme of things.. she's destroyed me completely and doesn't feel awful about it at all.
TaraMaiden Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 It's called "Dutch Courage." In vino Veritas. In wine, there is truth. Wine loosens the tongue..... You only told her, drunk, what you didn't have the balls to tell her, sober. I don't normally recommend getting drunk, but in this case, I'll make an exception. Huu-Rah for Heineken (other brands of Lager are also available)!
Author calgary Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 It's called "Dutch Courage." In vino Veritas. In wine, there is truth. Wine loosens the tongue..... You only told her, drunk, what you didn't have the balls to tell her, sober. I don't normally recommend getting drunk, but in this case, I'll make an exception. Huu-Rah for Heineken (other brands of Lager are also available)! if I was sober i'd have been totally nice, a total wimp! probably tried to get a hug and acted pathetic.. I keep thinking how low she's brought me and how upset I feel for this girl and she doesn't care so why do I care so much that I told her to ' f**k off' ? so what if I annoyed her or she thinks im rude or whatever.. after every bread crumb and every accusation she made, she deserves to feel a little bit upset for the way she's treated me about this break up.
Mack05 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 if I was sober i'd have been totally nice, a total wimp! probably tried to get a hug and acted pathetic.. I keep thinking how low she's brought me and how upset I feel for this girl and she doesn't care so why do I care so much that I told her to ' f**k off' ? so what if I annoyed her or she thinks im rude or whatever.. after every bread crumb and every accusation she made, she deserves to feel a little bit upset for the way she's treated me about this break up. The raging battle between heart v mind. Sadly dude, I foresee a lot more drama here. Weekends out, frequenting the same place. I mean you will talk again. You can apologise then if it bothers you this much. This will lead to more setbacks, more drama, more posts.. It's up to you to break the cycle. Will you? Nope cause if you are being honest with yourself, you like all the drama. If you didn't like the drama you wouldn't go to the same place she does and you would't gave a monkey's nutsack if you upset her or not.
Simon Phoenix Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 So you feel bad because for once, you actually showed balls and a backbone? Be a man!
Author calgary Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 So you feel bad because for once, you actually showed balls and a backbone? Be a man! thanks you're right, it just feels so wrong acting horrible to her. I feel worse for it. but it's probably for the best.
fixing Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Boooom. Headshot!! Good on you. Tell her friends to eff off too!! That Biatch and those other Biatches are OLD NEWS! Stay strong sir. You deserve much better
Simon Phoenix Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 thanks you're right, it just feels so wrong acting horrible to her. I feel worse for it. but it's probably for the best. She doesn't seem to care about acting badly toward you. She brought it on herself.
Sososad Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 How do u feel today .. Don't be too hard on yourself I had a dissater day yesterday too but feel better today .. What about you?
Author calgary Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 How do u feel today .. Don't be too hard on yourself I had a dissater day yesterday too but feel better today .. What about you? hey , just a little regret. I feel like it's completely over now, I mean it was probably always completely over but I was hanging onto every breadcrumb.. right now I feel like I killed every last chance of reconciliation and made a fool of myself in the process.. I guess it needed to be done but i'm still devastated. how are you feeling ? why was it a disaster day? what happened?
Mack05 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 You know what happened. You weren't ready to see her. Drink was involved and everything played out the way most of us would anticipate. You didn't kill any chance of reconciliation cause there is no chance of reconciliation.. If I said to you Calgary I have an ex who has had suicidal thoughts. Who has made it very clear she doesn't want a relationship with me. What would you tell me to do? At the end of the day she is not bothered. She hasn't texted you to say how upset you made her. Sure her friend rang probably to tell you that she thinks your a bellend. She is out living her life and moving on. You are stuck in denial land. Analyzing her, obsessing about her, hoping for a reconciliation. How is any of this helping you? The most ironic thing is you have no idea just how big a bullet you dodged.
Author calgary Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 You know what happened. You weren't ready to see her. Drink was involved and everything played out the way most of us would anticipate. You didn't kill any chance of reconciliation cause there is no chance of reconciliation.. If I said to you Calgary I have an ex who has had suicidal thoughts. Who has made it very clear she doesn't want a relationship with me. What would you tell me to do? At the end of the day she is not bothered. She hasn't texted you to say how upset you made her. Sure her friend rang probably to tell you that she thinks your a bellend. She is out living her life and moving on. You are stuck in denial land. Analyzing her, obsessing about her, hoping for a reconciliation. How is any of this helping you? The most ironic thing is you have no idea just how big a bullet you dodged. it's all true mack05.. I just need to get on with it.. just having a few weak days. it's like you said, the heart and the mind, I know in my mind, she's not the right girl, she's been horrible, she planned on hooking up with a guy 5 days after the break up, I did everything right. from dumping her for flirting with other guys and getting distant with me.. to going no contact immediately after the break up.. to deleting her from facebook after she offered the friendzone.. to seeing her when she felt suicidal.. to not texting her back when she asked me to after accusing me of dumping her for somebody else.. right up to telling her to f**k off. I think I've played it all right. but i'm still devastated I wake up alone every day and that she won't be coming over with a bottle of wine and a movie tonight. I guess I completely let myself go and logically loving somebody like that sounds crazy.. it's the heart and the mind fight. I keep telling myself to let go but I just flat out can't.. I don't love the drama, I just love the thought of getting back together with her in my heart.. not my mind. her best friend told me she was coming back this weekend and hopefully we'll see each other.. and she said if not if i'm ever where she is I should get in touch. I kind of left it I haven't responded to that.
Mack05 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I know it's hard mate. My last ex is nuttier than a squirrel on prozac and I had the same battle. I knew she wasn't good for me, I knew I could never be happy with her, yet I still craved her. You just have to keep moving forward. I can't see how you can move forward if you both go to the same place every Saturday. The cycle is just going to continue until you decide to end it.
Author calgary Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 I know it's hard mate. My last ex is nuttier than a squirrel on prozac and I had the same battle. I knew she wasn't good for me, I knew I could never be happy with her, yet I still craved her. You just have to keep moving forward. I can't see how you can move forward if you both go to the same place every Saturday. The cycle is just going to continue until you decide to end it. I get you, everything with my ex seemed good though. there was just a couple of things I didn't like so I said my peace.. she got annoyed at me. I think I just wanted a bit of respect from her.. it got a little one sided in the end, it wasn't 50/50 it was more like me doing 80 to her 20, think I was just fighting for the balance back. I do need to move forward.. I often wonder if it resets the cycle for her too though I know I shouldn't care. just having a sad day where i'd like to fix things and I should stop thinking like this ! will stay strong and remain no contact but im just venting.
Mack05 Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 I get you, everything with my ex seemed good though. there was just a couple of things I didn't like so I said my peace.. she got annoyed at me. I think I just wanted a bit of respect from her.. it got a little one sided in the end, it wasn't 50/50 it was more like me doing 80 to her 20, think I was just fighting for the balance back. I do need to move forward.. I often wonder if it resets the cycle for her too though I know I shouldn't care. just having a sad day where i'd like to fix things and I should stop thinking like this ! will stay strong and remain no contact but im just venting. One of the biggest mistakes dumpees make is overanalyzing what an ex is thinking. You need to understand her thought progress and her overall progression from aftermath of the break up, are completely different to yours. Try think of it as an oscilloscope with two entirely different wavelengths that never cross. 1
Author calgary Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 One of the biggest mistakes dumpees make is overanalyzing what an ex is thinking. You need to understand her thought progress and her overall progression from aftermath of the break up, are completely different to yours. Try think of it as an oscilloscope with two entirely different wavelengths that never cross. I know, I have no clue, she's probably fine. she hasn't got in touch like you said, she'll be out this weekend. i'm just having a moment of weakness that's why i'm here and not texting her.
Author calgary Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 ughh just clicked on my friends profile who she came over and said hi to on the weekend and she's liked his photo on facebook. it made my blood boil. i'm fuming. i am so annoyed right now. it sounds pathetic but she never likes peoples photos on facebook and stuff. i'm really annoyed at her for it she knows i'll see it. it annoys me because a long time ago her friend said she found him really attractive when i introduced them.. he's been a good friend for years, i really hope she doesn't start flirting with him. that would be so unfair of her.
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