Green Light Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 If a woman is only looking for friends who aren't married and don't have babies, wouldn't it be wiser to make friends with women or gay guys? Yes, I was thinking the same thing. With a woman or a gay man the OP wouldn't have to worry about "intentions." However, people are so crazy these days that who knows what a woman's or gay man's intentions would be.
Green Light Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Casual sex people are not on a path for the future...its more of we have sex until I get sick of you or until you want more Really all casual dating(sex or no sex) works that way now. There are threads about this started everyday and in many of those threads there was never any sex involved.
sillyanswer Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Wish me luck You'll need it. It's a dating site. Good luck! 3
sillyanswer Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I fourth or fifth or whatever the Meetup.com suggestion. I personally wish there was a Ireallyjustwanttotalkandhangoutandplayvideogamesandnothaveyouwanttodatemeorhavesexwithme.com site, but that's a hideously long URL. Great idea. letsnotfck.com ? 3
CptSaveAho Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 If a woman is only looking for friends who aren't married and don't have babies, wouldn't it be wiser to make friends with women or gay guys? Exactly, she's full of ****... funny how few people have caught on to this... woman talking must believe every word that she says as truth.
irc333 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Yeah, I had to unfriend a woman from FB, because I added her there from OK Cupid, then she goes, "I just started seeing someone, and I'm seeing how i goes, shortly after the Christmas Holidays, her FB status went from "Relationship" to "Single", in a couple of months, lol" I made my move right then and there, then she gave me the "I don't think of you in that way, and to be honest, I don't think I'd be attracted even if we did meet, but I'm always open to friendships" Funny thing is, she never has time for THAT either....she's always busy with her current "NON-OK Cupid" friends.....whoever wants to use a dating site to make friends....isn't being realistic. I already have friendships that I know OUTSIDE of OK Cupid....otherwise, its quite lame. So I am not dating anymore and I changed my profile on OKC to say so. I am still open to meeting people on the platonic friendship level. Still, only men contact me and I chatted to one for a few weeks. I explained about no dating, nothing romantic, nothing sexual, just chit chats and friendship. He seems cool with that and we are having coffee tonight. I hope I am not leading him on and that he genuinely wants to be friends. Wish me luck 1
irc333 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Exactly, he'll "play along" thinking that you're "playing" too, because...why? Well, you're on a "dating" site after all, right OP? Then, he'll go in for a kiss,or make a move...and then you'll reject him. He'll be ticked off, and remove you from his life. Or if he's smart, he won't go for that situation at ALL! PS - Hes gonna try and flirt and hope things "just happen". If you werent dating, youd take down the OKC profile. Even girls on OKC who say they are looking for friends only, secretly are wishing the right guy will come along. And they wont turn down a good guy if he did.
irc333 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 He designs robots for a living! Well, know wonder he's okay with being buddies with you, he's already made his own robot woman. :laugh: 2
ScreamingTrees Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 This thread cracks me up. So guys can look for casual sex on OKCupid but women cant look for friends on it? Man, men are "cake eaters" Anything that goes against them having their "cake" and they cannot stand it! Now that I read this a second time, what's the issue, exactly? Where's the hypocrisy? As if the women having the casual sex are being forced into it against their will? You'd think that platonic friendship seeking would be atypical on a dating site.. Whether it's casual or consciously monogamous, it's still dating, it falls under that umbrella term. Searching for platonic friends? Odd to me, considering you can literally look anywhere and EVERYWHERE, both online and offline..
irc333 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Now that I read this a second time, what's the issue, exactly? Where's the hypocrisy? As if the women having the casual sex are being forced into it against their will? You'd think that platonic friendship seeking would be atypical on a dating site.. Whether it's casual or consciously monogamous, it's still dating, it falls under that umbrella term. Searching for platonic friends? Odd to me, considering you can literally look anywhere and EVERYWHERE, both online and offline.. A lot of single women, these days like to date men under the guise of not dating. This confuses men.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I can read your history of posts on this site. Not degrading your character, but a self professed selfish man who uses women for sex Im not gonna take seriously. I need to trust someone before I sleep with them. I cannot trust someone I have never met before after a few hours of talking. Sexless multi daters are usually on the path of trying to find the one person they want to be with... I don't understand.. Do you not enjoy sex yourself? Are all men "using" you inherently? I'm not just asking this question because of this post, but your overall vibe just strikes me as such. Forgive me if I'm totally off the mark. Casual sex is closer to dating than platonic friendships are, IMO.. They have just as much in common if not more.
irc333 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I don't understand.. Do you not enjoy sex yourself? Are all men "using" you inherently? I'm not just asking this question because of this post, but your overall vibe just strikes me as such. Forgive me if I'm totally off the mark. Casual sex is closer to dating than platonic friendships are, IMO.. They have just as much in common if not more. She's playing the "Victim" card. 1
Object_a Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Searching for platonic friends? Odd to me, considering you can literally look anywhere and EVERYWHERE, both online and offline.. If you have an unusual lifestyle, religion, whatever, it does make sense to make friends in this way because it helps you filter out the vast majority of the general population who you might not get along with. The same with romantic partners, actually.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 A lot of single women, these days like to date men under the guise of not dating. This confuses men. I seem to agree that I notice more of this sort of stuff going on nowadays. I've personally experienced something quite like that as well, to some extent.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 OK, I will take all your advice in consideration and space out the next few meetings and will also invite another friend along as not to confuse things in any way. As for making women friends on OKC, I have messaged a few and NONE replied. Will be looking at meet up groups soon. I am just sick of socializing with couples.
ScreamingTrees Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 If you have an unusual lifestyle, religion, whatever, it does make sense to make friends in this way because it helps you filter out the vast majority of the general population who you might not get along with. The same with romantic partners, actually. I guess so.. But what are the chances that this person has such an unusual lifestyle that they're looking for "friends" on a site where people are either hooking up discreetly or trying to find a potentially life-long partner? No "religion" requires one to look for friendship on such a site.
RedRobin Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Now that I read this a second time, what's the issue, exactly? Where's the hypocrisy? As if the women having the casual sex are being forced into it against their will? You'd think that platonic friendship seeking would be atypical on a dating site.. Whether it's casual or consciously monogamous, it's still dating, it falls under that umbrella term. Searching for platonic friends? Odd to me, considering you can literally look anywhere and EVERYWHERE, both online and offline.. The man in the OP's example isn't being forced into a friendship either. She stated her goals. If he goes along with it, then it's on him. Same thing as a woman who goes along with a casual sex arrangement. No different. ... the thing that OKC is better at than some other opportunities is that you get a sense of a person's personality, likes/dislikes. These are important in developing any kind of relationship... friendship or otherwise. Anyway, I think you said you'd never been there?? There are married people there looking for polyamorous situations... and as another said... some looking for activity partners... pen pals... you name it. It's pretty much anything goes. I don't consider OKC a dating site... although a lot of people go there to date.
StanMusial Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Join the best dating site on Earth “The Google of online dating” — The Boston Globe “The best free dating site” — About.com 3
Green Light Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 As for making women friends on OKC, I have messaged a few and NONE replied. That's pretty much the way it goes on OLD...
RedRobin Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Join the best dating site on Earth “The Google of online dating” — The Boston Globe “The best free dating site” — About.com so what? That is obviously where they get most of their $$. It's just marketing. Anyone who has been there knows it is open to all kinds of definitions... just like I said. Not sure why the guys here are so bent out of shape about it anyway. What's it to them? Is it really going to be the end of anyone's world if women go there looking for friends? Just click 'next' if someone doesn't like it. I don't go there saying "how dare guys post for casual sex!!! They should be DATING and looking for relationships!! Damn them!" Just the opposite actually. Glad they are honest so there is no confusion. 2
Woggle Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 so what? That is obviously where they get most of their $$. It's just marketing. Anyone who has been there knows it is open to all kinds of definitions... just like I said. Not sure why the guys here are so bent out of shape about it anyway. What's it to them? Is it really going to be the end of anyone's world if women go there looking for friends? Just click 'next' if someone doesn't like it. I don't go there saying "how dare guys post for casual sex!!! They should be DATING and looking for relationships!! Damn them!" Just the opposite actually. Glad they are honest so there is no confusion. Yeah but if somebody is looking for casual sex then Casual Encounters might be a better fit for them. It doesn't make much sense to try and order pizza from a chinese restaurant. 1
RedRobin Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Yeah but if somebody is looking for casual sex then Casual Encounters might be a better fit for them. It doesn't make much sense to try and order pizza from a chinese restaurant. That's fine. The point is that OKC has a very diverse membership. Noone needs to get upset about it. Although, I'll say that those new to online dating may be confused about what all the terms mean... just as I was confused when I first tried it that online 'dating' was pretty much synonymous with multi-dating. Now that I get that, I don't do online dating anymore. Not my cup of tea. If I ever did go back to OKC, it would be for just friends or activity partners though. Not dating. I'm quite ok with multi-friending... ha ha
Green Light Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 just as I was confused when I first tried it that online 'dating' was pretty much synonymous with multi-dating. Now that I get that, I don't do online dating anymore. Not my cup of tea. Hey! We actually agree about something! I can't stand multi-dating. I'm too old for that.
Soxfaninfl Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Hey! We actually agree about something! I can't stand multi-dating. I'm too old for that. I've never multi-dated. I dont know how people do that. I've always focused on one women at a time to see if there was a future. I guess I'm a one women man and always will be. I don't see myself changing at 37.
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