Eternal Sunshine Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 So I am not dating anymore and I changed my profile on OKC to say so. I am still open to meeting people on the platonic friendship level. Still, only men contact me and I chatted to one for a few weeks. I explained about no dating, nothing romantic, nothing sexual, just chit chats and friendship. He seems cool with that and we are having coffee tonight. I hope I am not leading him on and that he genuinely wants to be friends. Wish me luck 1
kaylan Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 No it will not work. Its a dating site. So people will ALWAYS have that in the back of their minds. Dont be naive. 10
kaylan Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 PS - Hes gonna try and flirt and hope things "just happen". If you werent dating, youd take down the OKC profile. Even girls on OKC who say they are looking for friends only, secretly are wishing the right guy will come along. And they wont turn down a good guy if he did. 2
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 So I am not dating anymore and I changed my profile on OKC to say so. I am still open to meeting people on the platonic friendship level. Still, only men contact me and I chatted to one for a few weeks. I explained about no dating, nothing romantic, nothing sexual, just chit chats and friendship. He seems cool with that and we are having coffee tonight. I hope I am not leading him on and that he genuinely wants to be friends. Wish me luck He soooo wants to bang you..... No guy would think otherwise when responding to a profile like that 4
Ordinaryday Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) If you want to make friends use Meetup or Facebook. often girls say "I am only looking for friends" to ward off the advances of unwanted guys but they are STILL looking for one guy to hook up with. This guy proabably thinks he is that to you. I use okcupid a lot and I have often gotten rejected by girls who then say that I was great to talk to and they would like to keep chatting to me "just as friends". I am aware they don't mean it anyway, it is just a line, but I still get annoyed when they say this because I am using the site to TRY AND FIND A GIRLFRIEND, NOT A GIRL WHO IS A FRIEND. Simply using okcupid is leading guys on. if you only want to make friends use meetup.com Edited March 6, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Redacted commercial link 5
Soxfaninfl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 PS - Hes gonna try and flirt and hope things "just happen". If you werent dating, youd take down the OKC profile. Even girls on OKC who say they are looking for friends only, secretly are wishing the right guy will come along. And they wont turn down a good guy if he did. Eternal Sunshine, Kayan is right listen to what he has to say. The guy is on a dating site. He's looking to get laid eventually.
Soxfaninfl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 She has made her intentions clear about only wanting to be friends so shes not leading im on, and so what? Doesnt mean she'll sleep with him. Even if a women says that, he'll be hoping that she'll change her mind about being more than friends. He'll hope that if she sees what a great guy that he is that maybe she will start to develop feelings for him. Men don't get on dating dates simply make friends with females. They are either looking for a girlfriend or getting laid. If I wanted to make friends then I would use meet up to find people that have similar interests not a dating site. I have seen women post on their profiles on daring sites that they are looking for friendship only, and when I see those I simply go on to the next one. I'm on those sites for one reason, and it's to find a wife. Hopefully my love of a life time.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 But then that's his problem isn't it? It's the same thing if I met a guy who told me that he wants just sex and I slept with him hoping to get a relationship. It's my OWN fault when that doesn't work out. I think that he seems genuine. 4
Soxfaninfl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 The same way women do with men who say they arent looking for anything serious and just want sex. When someone makes their feelings well known, its the other persons fault for agreeing to be lead on Your absolutely right.
creighton0123 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Meetup.com is for friendship. OkCupid is for dating. /end thread 3
mesmerized Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 So naive of you to think you can make friends. Men don't wanna be platonic friends with sexy women or just women in general. I made a friend through a dating site but we didn't start as just friends. 2
SJC2008 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 On the bottom of the profile page it has what they're looking for so if he doesn't have friends listed I'd be wary.
Ordinaryday Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 you may think it is just "his" problem but it never works that way. if you meet the guy and get attached to him and start to really like him and enjoy his company but have no desire to take it further then friendship when he wants to take it further.... well that pretty much is the end of the friendship right there. 3
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 See guys, all my friends are attached and only talk about marriage and babies. I have NO single friends left. I just want to meet some new single people to hang out with. 2
SmileFace Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I have two guys friends - who I talk to this day and we are just platonic friends. It does happen. Neither of us friend zoned each other - we never tried to be together either. Both were guys I tried different food places with
Archgirl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 So I am not dating anymore and I changed my profile on OKC to say so. I am still open to meeting people on the platonic friendship level. Still, only men contact me and I chatted to one for a few weeks. I explained about no dating, nothing romantic, nothing sexual, just chit chats and friendship. He seems cool with that and we are having coffee tonight. I hope I am not leading him on and that he genuinely wants to be friends. Wish me luck You realise in Oz that is code for wants a FWB. But then it is OZ OkC...good luck anyway babe! 2
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 I had a 3 hour coffee and dessert with this guy. He is really cool and great conversationalist....He is 31 but has done so much with his life, he has so many stories. He designs robots for a living! He is definitely more on the serious side but a real gentleman: pulls out chairs, opens doors, didn't let me pay.... I think this friendship can work 1
Kamille Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 He is definitely more on the serious side but a real gentleman: pulls out chairs, opens doors, didn't let me pay.... Oy vey! I need more friends like your . Dangerous territory ES. How are you going to react if, on the next date, he tries to make a move on you?
xxoo Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I had a 3 hour coffee and dessert with this guy. He is really cool and great conversationalist....He is 31 but has done so much with his life, he has so many stories. He designs robots for a living! He is definitely more on the serious side but a real gentleman: pulls out chairs, opens doors, didn't let me pay.... I think this friendship can work Sounds like a date 10
ChessPieceFace Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Wow, so much negativity. I considered using OKC to make friends but I thought like you guys did: "people on there are only on there to find dates." But ES proved you wrong, and I proved you wrong too (sort of.) But yeah, if someone is pulling out your chair and paying, it's a date. Come on ES, you're smarter than that.
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 a real gentleman: pulls out chairs, opens doors, didn't let me pay.... I think this friendship can work While you are looking for a friendship I seriously doubt he is.. to him it was a date. Why would you think a friendship would work while it starts out with him treating it as a date ? I'll bet anything the next "friendship lunch or 2 he tries to kiss you" Just a gut hunch, unless he is on OKC to look for friends.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Good luck!! You told him your intentions so if he gets there and then gets all sexual and flirty and stuff it isn't like you didn't warn him what the deal was.
Art_Critic Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Good luck!! You told him your intentions so if he gets there and then gets all sexual and flirty and stuff it isn't like you didn't warn him what the deal was. To be fair to him though isn't him being on a dating site kind of a warning in itself ? She is also on a dating site. I think guys in scenarios like this will always default to the girl playing hard to get because it is a dating site. Now maybe after a date or 2 there is no chemistry and it falls to a friendship.. that can happen
Soxfaninfl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I had a 3 hour coffee and dessert with this guy. He is really cool and great conversationalist....He is 31 but has done so much with his life, he has so many stories. He designs robots for a living! He is definitely more on the serious side but a real gentleman: pulls out chairs, opens doors, didn't let me pay.... I think this friendship can work Do you find him attractive?
StanMusial Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Good luck!! You told him your intentions so if he gets there and then gets all sexual and flirty and stuff it isn't like you didn't warn him what the deal was. Pay attention guys. There are women out there who need drama in their lives. 2
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