blue_jay_bird Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 First love, been together 7 years. ... Has anyone experienced something along these lines and really fallen in love again. I find it hard to think I'll ever feel like I do about this person, with another person. I don't want people to say ...plenty of fish...i'm sure it will happen. The question IS HAS IT HAPPEN TO YOU?
lemonlegs Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 First love, been together 7 years. ... Has anyone experienced something along these lines and really fallen in love again. I find it hard to think I'll ever feel like I do about this person, with another person. I don't want people to say ...plenty of fish...i'm sure it will happen. The question IS HAS IT HAPPEN TO YOU? No. You WILL feel it again. Just don't expect it to happen anytime soon. As long as you're patient and willing to give other people a chance, then you will. No worries.
lovnlost Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 read Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be critical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy. "Love is perenial as the grass": Love will come in and out of your life with people. YES you will love again. And the best part it is, this 7 years of your life will have taught you how to be better with the next and how to love more deeply and honestly because you will understand more than you do now, you will have matured. But you must heal and understand what has occurred and how things were. I was in a relationship for 7 years and we share a child now for it. In each relationship, 2, thereafter, I learned each time how to love more completely and honestly for them and me. So, it only gets better....if you want it to. Otherwise you do not get wiser and mature and stay emotionally stunted. Hang in there.....that age old saying of Time heals, as annoying as it is to say and hear, will work. I hope your feeling better soon and hang in there. 4
adelia Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I thought the same after I broke up with my ex after being together a number of years but I did move on it wasn't easy though. I went through deep sadness and pain with bouts of what felt like moments of relief. Eventually those moments got to be days and then I was able to be happy again. Then I met a wonderful man which I fell even more in love with only to complicate things further lol the point is you WILL find other people you click with. You don't think you will because that's all you've ever known and it's still very fresh. 1
Bigcitydreamer Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I think that if you have had more than 1 relationship, then you must have the ability to fall in love again. Ive been through a few pretty serious relationships and each time I think I've found my soulmate! When me and my previous ex split I thought I was done for and would never be happy again. Then I met my current ex who recently dumped me and I felt the same way all over again. So yes, unless you are completely different than the rest of the human race, I'm willing to be you will find someone new. And hopefully this new person will match you even better then your last relationship so that you don't end up in this situation. 7 years is a long time and I feel for you, but please don't give up hope that happiness will come for you!
geegirl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) First boyfriend. Together for 6 years. Love of my life. Torn apart by society, family and religion. Thought I would never love again. But here I am. Having loved and lost many times over and now loving again, this is not your end. Try and look on the positive side of things. Aren't you at least a little curious as to what the possibilities are in the future rather than this doom and gloom pattern? Don't limit the enormity of your life with one relationship. Just as you fell for your ex, those feelings will once again show itself when that someone comes along. Edited March 6, 2013 by geegirl 1
Author blue_jay_bird Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 lol this sounds all well and good... but, iv lost a just a friend 4 years ago...and i still miss him and i don't think i can ever replace him. every new relationship, is almost just a shadow of the last. I try to be very open about it. But i still feel this inability to find a connection. I know it should not be a replacement, but a whole new relationship... I really just don't feel anything anymore.
geegirl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) The problem is, you're looking at every next person that comes into your life to be a replication of what you had. Get rid of that expectation. It does not work that way. Until you detach emotionally from your ex, and that could take months, a year/s, depending on what you do in your journey to heal and move on, you will always compare every person/relationship to him, keeping yourself in these limiting patterns. Perfectly normal but when you are in a space whereby you are completely well enough emotionally and mentally to be on your own, never having him pass your mind, never needing to analyze your love life rather than just living your life and realizing that a partner is just an added bonus to an already complete life, you will be able to open your heart again, feel excited about the possibilities and see the potential and quality in others. Mentally and emotionally strong, letting go of the past and looking towards creating new experiences for the future. The way you are thinking right now, is just you idealizing what you had and casting negativity on everything else because you can't see past your still present emotions and you can't let go. You're trapped in a bubble, an attachment to him and what was and making that your whole life. Again, normal. Think it, but don't believe it. Edited March 6, 2013 by geegirl 1
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