Emb123 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Okay, I guess this is kind of a weird post because normally girls complain about the opposite of this and say "He never wants to spend time with me!" But I've noticed that my boyfriend rarely spends time hanging out with his friends. He always chooses to spend his free time with me. It's not that I dislike this at all. I love spending time with him, we get along great and have the best times together. We both have very busy schedules with work and school, so believe me I'm glad when he gets time he wants to spend it with me. My ex never wanted to spend time with me and spent all of his free time going out to bars with his friends, so this is kind of a breath of fresh air. I'm just worried that his friends think that I am keeping him from them and might not like me because of it, when it's him that chooses to spend time with me instead of them. Sure, when there's a party or a bday or something for one of his friends we will both go to it, but he never calls them up to just hang out or anything like that. I've even said something to him along the lines of "I don't in some way keep you from my friends do I?" and he said "I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions. Sometimes I hang out with my friends a lot and sometimes I don't." That was the last time I brought it up. Then there was this huge guy's camping trip this past weekend and all of his friends were begging him to go but he said "I have work and a lot of school work due on Monday, sorry I can't make it this time." He did have a lot of school work, but on one of the nights he was supposedly "super busy" he spent all night hanging out with me and not doing school work. Is this weird? Like I said, I like that he wants to spend time with me. I just don't want his friends to resent me for it.
Author Emb123 Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 BTW, we have been together for 10 months so it's not like we are still in that honeymoon period where you ignore your friends all the time to hang out together, haha.
Els Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I honestly think that in general, except for a few very strong dealbreakers, it's best to let your partner choose to live his life the way he wants if it is not affecting your R. Tell him that you're totally okay with him hanging out with his friends more if he wants to, but let him decide. 1
NapoleonNotSheep Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 How can this be a problem? Problem would be if he would rather be with his mates in bar drinking and flirting with other women. This is like you would won the lottery and then question urself why did i win and why did i pick this numbers.... Instead of being happy. 1
todreaminblue Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Okay, I guess this is kind of a weird post because normally girls complain about the opposite of this and say "He never wants to spend time with me!" But I've noticed that my boyfriend rarely spends time hanging out with his friends. He always chooses to spend his free time with me. It's not that I dislike this at all. I love spending time with him, we get along great and have the best times together. We both have very busy schedules with work and school, so believe me I'm glad when he gets time he wants to spend it with me. My ex never wanted to spend time with me and spent all of his free time going out to bars with his friends, so this is kind of a breath of fresh air. I'm just worried that his friends think that I am keeping him from them and might not like me because of it, when it's him that chooses to spend time with me instead of them. Sure, when there's a party or a bday or something for one of his friends we will both go to it, but he never calls them up to just hang out or anything like that. I've even said something to him along the lines of "I don't in some way keep you from my friends do I?" and he said "I'm a grown man and I can make my own decisions. Sometimes I hang out with my friends a lot and sometimes I don't." That was the last time I brought it up. Then there was this huge guy's camping trip this past weekend and all of his friends were begging him to go but he said "I have work and a lot of school work due on Monday, sorry I can't make it this time." He did have a lot of school work, but on one of the nights he was supposedly "super busy" he spent all night hanging out with me and not doing school work. Is this weird? Like I said, I like that he wants to spend time with me. I just don't want his friends to resent me for it. i am not the type to place demands on time from a partner fi they dont want it they dont have to have it....ill amuse myself......and guys have taken advantage of this..it must be refreshing to not demand time but be given time freely....like elswyth said....i think you should let him decide........and enjoy him and the time he wants to spend with you, his true friends would understand the type of person he is and why he wants to spend time with you........and if they dont......its not your concern but his...be happy and i wish you happiness with this guy..which i dont really think you need ...because you already have that happiness....so i wish you all the best....deb
Author Emb123 Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Thanks for the responses. Like I said, I'm not upset nor do I dislike that he loves spending all of his free time with me. I guess I just got used to be being with selfish guys that never wanted to use most of their free time to hang out with me and would make me wait around for them. I will just let it be and let him decided what's best for him.
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