Vallez Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Here is a simple question. Should a woman have balls and be direct and say to a man:" I have a crush on you, do you feel the same? Where is this thing going?" Two or three simple lines. Regarding the dating stage, thrills of seduction, acting mysterious, playing hard to get? The older I get, the less men brain I understand. Do guys get turned on by direct selfaware women who know what they want and go for it or do you prefer to be the hunter, playing hot and cold and have the lead? Is being direct a big turn off to you and feels like someone is pushing you to the wall?
iKING Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 If you're going to be direct, try to leave it open-ended, the question about where It's going will just add pressure, sort of a fight or flight response is likely. It depends on how interested he seems to be in you as to whether or not the direct approach would be wise. It's kind of like fishing, you have to know when to tease and when to try to set the hook. If he's not into games and he does appear like you, the direct approach would have better odds of success in your favor. Either way you run the risk of scaring him off by putting the ball in his court, but It's not absolutely a bad idea.
The Outlaw Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Sometimes it's better to be direct than not. Just don't come on too strong. At least if you're honest about it and they feel the same, a relationship could develop over not having said anything.
dj572 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Every guy will be different but speaking for myself I would like to be told. I have missed opportunities before because I didn't know the woman had feelings for me as well. I have never been good at determining when a woman was interested in me. I found out too late and missed my opportunity twice. Who knows were it would have ended up. I was too afraid to say anything because I was afraid of rejection. Little did I know they had feelings for me as well. I found out years later and I wish I would have known.
iKING Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) Yes It should be done how I did it in 1st grade...give them a note saying I like you. Do you like me? Circle one Yes or No. That way you know but you dont have to hear them say No if they do That's so adorable I like this idea OP, you might try it sometime and see how it goes. Edited March 6, 2013 by iKING
tbf Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Why should anyone do what they don't want to do? There's no necessity when it comes to dating and attraction. If you want to be direct, do so. If you're direct with someone who doesn't appreciate it, they'll respond in the negative. If you're direct with someone who appreciates it, they'll respond in the positive. Either way, investment in outcome, especially when you barely know them, isn't logical or rational.
kristinaaa Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 It's better to tell them I think, And I think I should follow my own advice hahaha It takes a lot of courage but at least you'll know where you stand.
Author Vallez Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Yes It should be done how I did it in 1st grade...give them a note saying I like you. Do you like me? Circle one Yes or No. That way you know but you dont have to hear them say No if they do This is so cute!
Author Vallez Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 If you're going to be direct, try to leave it open-ended, the question about where It's going will just add pressure, sort of a fight or flight response is likely. It depends on how interested he seems to be in you as to whether or not the direct approach would be wise. It's kind of like fishing, you have to know when to tease and when to try to set the hook. If he's not into games and he does appear like you, the direct approach would have better odds of success in your favor. Either way you run the risk of scaring him off by putting the ball in his court, but It's not absolutely a bad idea. This is really good advice! My friend told me to be direct and deamnding honest answers. I seriously don't want to be a freak and scare him away so much basiclly telling him:" Hey I like you soooo muchhhh, please answer me!!!! Do you feel the same way?!?!?!" Aaaaaahh, LMAO. I'll be simple I'll confess I have a crush on him, but I will not demending any answer if he feels the same way or not. Situation is not ordinary between us, its different since he moved far away from his job. I'll do it in a relaxed and fun way.
todreaminblue Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 crushes to me feel awkward......i wouldnt tell a guy hey i have a crush on you...nah....couldnt do it......if a guy cant figure out i am interested or ask me out ..means i am probably not worth the effort or he isnt interested whether i have a crush or not......i normally however do kamikaze if i like someone adn woudl like to get to know them better...when it develops into a crush....just makes me awkward.........and unlikely to say something about how i feel......that is why normally it is the more likely to be assertive guys i go out with...because they ask first....or have asked first, i rejected and then asked them out when i thought about it for a little while........deb
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