RiceaRoni Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Don't you just hate it when your heart says one thing, but your mind says another? I want my ex back, but then I don't. My heart says "Oh yes you still love him and you need him back in your life", but my head is like "No he left you, got with someone else and is happier without you..you don't need that douche" It's like an internal war lol and I can't stand it sometimes...am I the only one who has this problem? 2
thefooloftheyear Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 ..am I the only one who has this problem? No.... Likely everyone on here could say the same thing...The ones that dont are fooling themselves and just block out the bad and only look at the good.... TFOY
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 ...am I the only one who has this problem? Yes you are. now go out and buy a kitten, immediately. You'll feel so much better when it's scratched all the fabric furniture to hell.... That will be so distracting for you!! Chin up hun - 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Yes you are. now go out and buy a kitten, immediately. You'll feel so much better when it's scratched all the fabric furniture to hell.... That will be so distracting for you!! Chin up hun - lol omg unfortunately I have a cat that does that already but I'm doing better taking it a day at a time. 1
singme2sleep Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I'm going to share with you a poem I wrote, recently.. Warfare: Between each little silence Inside me so much violence My heart and head do battle I can surely feel the rattle They both want different things Fighting just like feuding kings As I try ignoring every sound Voices pull me to the ground If only I could make them see We must stick together, us three The dust will settle soon enough And when it does call my bluff 4
todreaminblue Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 (edited) Don't you just hate it when your heart says one thing, but your mind says another? I want my ex back, but then I don't. My heart says "Oh yes you still love him and you need him back in your life", but my head is like "No he left you, got with someone else and is happier without you..you don't need that douche" It's like an internal war lol and I can't stand it sometimes...am I the only one who has this problem? no you are not alone for a while in contemplated going back to my ex....one of the reasons was....he knew me....ii knew him and what to expect, we are still friends ...its my head telling me...not my heart.......because its safe, no surprises....i know him like i know the back of my hand....he knows me, my body, we were passionate intimately...explosive actually..... another fact is i have had five kids and am insecure....three of those girls i had are his....i havent been fully naked with anyone but him in the last 27 or so years(that includes the relationship and since we split)...so yeah.....its safe... it took me quite a while to get fully naked with him in the first place.........seems strange for an ex hooker doesnt it...just goes to show i should never have been one.......had to be drunk and desperate and i was..... i feel like a teenager again but this time without alcohol and i have a home..but my head promised my heart this time i wont go back to my ex, i will not look back and follow that path again...i am different now...scared....yep.....resolved though....and going back to my ex would be betraying what i feel in my heart and since my heart was able and continues to feel for another ...my head has no say in it..i had passion with my ex.....and i beleive i can have that same passion for another guy who deserves it and how the fact i deserve the same passion but with commitment at the same level of my commitment....deb Edited March 5, 2013 by todreaminblue
Amelie1980 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 When my ex bu he said his heart was telling him yes but head said no. he went with his head. he shouldve gone with his heart....he's thick. I've listened to my head all thru my life, can't say I've ever been right about anything. Will go with instinct in the future...ie the heart. 3
singme2sleep Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 When my ex bu he said his heart was telling him yes but head said no. he went with his head. he shouldve gone with his heart....he's thick. Mine too. And he used to say that I was the one who over-thought everything, go figure. I'd rather always think with my heart. 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 It's thinking with your heart that keeps people stuck in pain. And sadly, many people would rather remain stuck in pain, than haul themselves up by their bootstraps and get themselves out of it. And before anyone thinks I'm flinging mud, I'm actually thinking specifically and solely of two gentlemen members who deeply perpetuated their own misery, on purpose, to the point that they actually attracted abuse on here. 1
lovnlost Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I'm going to share with you a poem I wrote, recently.. Warfare: Between each little silence Inside me so much violence My heart and head do battle I can surely feel the rattle They both want different things Fighting just like feuding kings As I try ignoring every sound Voices pull me to the ground If only I could make them see We must stick together, us three The dust will settle soon enough And when it does call my bluff Singme2sleep This is the exact kind of honesty I was talking about with peoples writings post BU. Well done. Btw....I responded to your situation in the other thread that you asked about. 1
Amelie1980 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I don't know....they say you should follow your instincts. That's your heart, your gut feeling. Whenever I've ignored my heart, I've been wrong....... 1
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 well my ex is extremely stubborn and hates to be wrong so when he broke up with me it seemed impulsive, but he had been thinking about it from what I heard...but after we broke up he was conflicted and had mixed feelings about everything...he really regretted it, he never told me because of his pride and he never thought to come back because of his pride and stubbornness...instead he got with someone else, and is moving on with her instead of thinking about me. I wish I could keep telling him how I feel, but it wont do any good, so I gotta move on just like him. time to take my head's advice and keep my heart quiet.
singme2sleep Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 lovnlost- thank you! I know, I read it just haven't had a chance to really sit down and write out a response. Look for it a little later lol
H3Drvr Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 This battle rages on in me every so often and I'm about 2 months in with NC. Luckily, I've been so busy with work that I haven't had too much time thinking about this. Hopefully it will be even less in the next few months as I start taking on more responsibilities at work as well as starting a new business...not to mention gym 5 days a week + jump starting my social life. 1
lovnlost Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Has anyone else had troubles jump starting their social lives as HD3rvr mentioned? If so, how? Im a very outgoing individual so I have no issue meeting new people, but finding time to go out between kiddo, homework, school, work is taxing. Most of my friends have moved out of town here but I stay because I will not leave my daughter for the sake earning a bit more money somewhere. I hit the gym and run distance races occasionally. Being a social guy is difficult at times when im not really into the bar seen much these days. Been looking for.new activities that are interesting and new. Summer and spring are great as I am a rafting guide and sailing instructor. What are new activites people have found that are engaging, fun and new??? Just.curious w!hat other people are doing to take their mind off the hurt in a new way.
H3Drvr Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Don't you have something that you've always wanted to do but never really pursued because of the relationship?
lovnlost Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Yup.....snowboarding which Ive now done and am going again in two weeks and im doing a Warrior Dash challenge/ obstacle race early April. Im on it lol:cool: Its the weekly socializing im getting back into slowly. I choose friends carefully.
Amelie1980 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 well my ex is extremely stubborn and hates to be wrong so when he broke up with me it seemed impulsive, but he had been thinking about it from what I heard...but after we broke up he was conflicted and had mixed feelings about everything...he really regretted it, he never told me because of his pride and he never thought to come back because of his pride and stubbornness...instead he got with someone else, and is moving on with her instead of thinking about me. I wish I could keep telling him how I feel, but it wont do any good, so I gotta move on just like him. time to take my head's advice and keep my heart quiet. How do you know he regretted it?
lavenderlove Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Ok, this is a test: when you think of him, (now, please think about him very strongly) What do you feel? If you feel joy and happiness and you just want to run to him, your heart really is wanting to do something different to your mind. But I am guessing you feel pain, (which I do when I think of my ex, I don't feel joy and happiness) you do so, because he has threw you away. Sooo, if you truly follow your heart, you will move away from him as soon as possible. You take your heart with you to discover nicer places to be. Sometimes I think all this post breakup misery we go through is due to resisting our heat's desire to be loved, to love, and be open to new and wondrous things. And instead we stare into this wide gaping black hole inside us the removal of XGF / XBF created. This hole we look at and can't see the new space. 2
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 How do you know he regretted it? I don't know for sure, but the day after the BU he tried to still act like my bf and he texted me at night saying he messed up big time...but I was so emotional at that time I didn't know what to say..so I told him I'd give him his space like he asked and then we could try again, but after that he totally went through with the break up and said we should both move on... And during that time...around the second month when I still followed him on twitter he would say things like "a hoe always comes back, but once a good woman is gone she's gone for good" and "I gotta stop making excuses and just admit I f*cked up"
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Ok, this is a test: when you think of him, (now, please think about him very strongly) What do you feel? If you feel joy and happiness and you just want to run to him, your heart really is wanting to do something different to your mind. But I am guessing you feel pain, (which I do when I think of my ex, I don't feel joy and happiness) you do so, because he has threw you away. Sooo, if you truly follow your heart, you will move away from him as soon as possible. You take your heart with you to discover nicer places to be. Sometimes I think all this post breakup misery we go through is due to resisting our heat's desire to be loved, to love, and be open to new and wondrous things. And instead we stare into this wide gaping black hole inside us the removal of XGF / XBF created. This hole we look at and can't see the new space. When I think of him now..I usually feel numb or sometimes knots form in my stomach...and when I look back at memories I always smile, but if course memories are memories...
Amelie1980 Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Ok, this is a test: when you think of him, (now, please think about him very strongly) What do you feel? If you feel joy and happiness and you just want to run to him, your heart really is wanting to do something different to your mind. But I am guessing you feel pain, (which I do when I think of my ex, I don't feel joy and happiness) you do so, because he has threw you away. Sooo, if you truly follow your heart, you will move away from him as soon as possible. You take your heart with you to discover nicer places to be. Sometimes I think all this post breakup misery we go through is due to resisting our heat's desire to be loved, to love, and be open to new and wondrous things. And instead we stare into this wide gaping black hole inside us the removal of XGF / XBF created. This hole we look at and can't see the new space. Joy and happiness. tinged with disbelief at what happened.
Author RiceaRoni Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Well it's been a full day of not looking at any social media and I gotta say I already feel good haha...plus I'm working so it takes my mind off of him a lot. It seems I only think of him when I'm alone in my room or when I'm about to go to sleep. 2
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