tbf Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 If a man tells you something negative about himself, believe it. It's pretty straight-forward. 2
Drseussgrrl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 We are here to advise the OP. If the woman he ruined were here posting, your advice would be appropriate. But this is the OP we're talking to. And I don't think saying to him, "It's OK to be horrid to stupid people who should know better" is necessarily a message that needs to be sent. To anyone. I guess I don't see where he isn't being straight-forward with them.
Drseussgrrl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 "If men stopped bullsh*tting women, it would be the end of ALL of us." - Samuel L. Jackson 1
Janesays Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I guess I don't see where he isn't being straight-forward with them. If ONE woman didn't believe him and got hurt, I'd say it was probably HER that had the problem. But he fully admits that this is a COMMON problem that MANY woman have with him, so that tells me that he is NOT being straight with them. Obviously, HE is the one who is not communicating effectively. So my thoughts are that we should give him a way to communicate more effectively with these women in the future. I am NOT about to say, "It's OK to punch someone in the face; It's THEIR fault for not blocking." That's just ridiculous. Whenever I see men acting like this, I have to look suspicously at women. After all, we are the ones raising these cads, right? Why are we telling them it is OK to behave this way? 1
Janesays Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 "If men stopped bullsh*tting women, it would be the end of ALL of us." - Samuel L. Jackson So when you have a baby son, is this the truth you're going to preach to him? And if you have a baby daughter, is this the kind of man you EXPECT and WANT her to deal with? What goes around, comes around. How about that? How about we just all learn to be kind and honest with each other instead? What's so wrong with that? 1
Kamille Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Haven't read all thread but I'm so sure I can change you Fondue. You sound like an interesting challenge. I, Kamille K. NaughtyPants, will be the woman who will make you feel emotions for another human being. Or maybe I'll just go eat ice cream now and skip the drama. Decisions, decisions. 1
Drseussgrrl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 If ONE woman didn't believe him and got hurt, I'd say it was probably HER that had the problem. But he fully admits that this is a COMMON problem that MANY woman have with him, so that tells me that he is NOT being straight with them. Obviously, HE is the one who is not communicating effectively. So my thoughts are that we should give him a way to communicate more effectively with these women in the future. I am NOT about to say, "It's OK to punch someone in the face; It's THEIR fault for not blocking." That's just ridiculous. Whenever I see men acting like this, I have to look suspicously at women. After all, we are the ones raising these cads, right? Why are we telling them it is OK to behave this way? It's nothing new that men will BS left and right to get laid. It's almost like it's built into their DNA. Not to mention a lot of women see these types as a "challenge" or that they're special enough to make the man fall in love. Hell I've even thought this myself. Never again.
iKING Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Haven't read all thread but I'm so sure I can change you Fondue. You sound like an interesting challenge. I, Kamille K. NaughtyPants, will be the woman who will make you feel emotions for another human being. Or maybe I'll just go eat ice cream now and skip the drama. Decisions, decisions. I'm down for the ice cream. Perfect side to the riot OP enticed. 1
Janesays Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 It's nothing new that men will BS left and right to get laid. It's almost like it's built into their DNA. Not to mention a lot of women see these types as a "challenge" or that they're special enough to make the man fall in love. Hell I've even thought this myself. Never again. Just because it's common doesn't make it right.
Drseussgrrl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 So when you have a baby son, is this the truth you're going to preach to him? And if you have a baby daughter, is this the kind of man you EXPECT and WANT her to deal with? What goes around, comes around. How about that? How about we just all learn to be kind and honest with each other instead? What's so wrong with that? Oh come on. It's a joke. And it's funny because it's true and we all know it. If you don't want to get played, then be smarter than the fox. If a guy is telling me he isn't a good person and I want a relationship I'm not droppin' my panties for him. And yes I'll teach my baby daughter all about it.
tbf Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Haven't read all thread but I'm so sure I can change you Fondue. You sound like an interesting challenge. I, Kamille K. NaughtyPants, will be the woman who will make you feel emotions for another human being. Or maybe I'll just go eat ice cream now and skip the drama. Decisions, decisions.Kamille, while your post is funny, we both know many, many women who try to fix or change men. If more women were to take male negative statements at face value, there'd be less hurt and break ups. Consider the mating game. Guys will stand on their heads to get laid. To state something negative about themselves could prevent sex from happening. That's why I've always believed men who have stated something negative about themselves since there's no gain to admit such. 3
Janesays Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 And yes I'll teach my baby daughter all about it. And your son?
Kamille Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Kamille, while your post is funny, we both know many, many women who try to fix or change men. If more women were to take male negative statements at face value, there'd be less hurt and break ups. Consider the mating game. Guys will stand on their heads to get laid. To state something negative about themselves could prevent sex from happening. That's why I've always believed men who have stated something negative about themselves since there's no gain to admit such. Agreed. My post was a joke, but the underlying message is this: the OP keeps having these "misunderstanding" with women because only women who want projects will be interested in dating him. So, then, the question is: how does he avoid the "project-seeking-women" and find someone who is genuinely into a no-emotion involved whatsoever relationship. Personally, I have no clue. I'm just enjoying the ice cream. 2
Drseussgrrl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 And your son? I'm not sure what my potential future son has anything to do with the OP. But ok. Of course I'll teach him to be respectful of women. But I'm sure even the most gentlemanly dude has BS'd his way into some chick's bed at one point or another. How about the FATHERS stepping up to the plate on that one, hmm? You're trying to basically say that men are assh0les because somewhere along the way their moms have failed them. I'm saying that sometimes being an assh0le and following their pecker is just being a dude and women need to stop lying to themselves about it.
tbf Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Agreed. My post was a joke, but the underlying message is this: the OP keeps having these "misunderstanding" with women because only women who want projects will be interested in dating him. So, then, the question is: how does he avoid the "project-seeking-women" and find someone who is genuinely into a no-emotion involved whatsoever relationship. Personally, I have no clue. I'm just enjoying the ice cream.He's actually not saying he wants to avoid these women. He's asking how he can explain it in such a way that they don't look for emotional connection, whether this means they leave or accept him on his emotionless terms.
Author Fondue Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Kamille, while your post is funny, we both know many, many women who try to fix or change men. If more women were to take male negative statements at face value, there'd be less hurt and break ups. Consider the mating game. Guys will stand on their heads to get laid. To state something negative about themselves could prevent sex from happening. That's why I've always believed men who have stated something negative about themselves since there's no gain to admit such. This was partially my point. I intentionally place landmines for myself to trip over. I TELL women I am not a suitable companion-- that I am NO companion at all. I am abad, stay way, date someone else. It still happens. I feel like yes, I may be partially to blame (seriously, I am pretty fun to be around), but I can't be held responsible for them "falling" for me when I distinctly tell them NOT to. Agreed. My post was a joke, but the underlying message is this: the OP keeps having these "misunderstanding" with women because only women who want projects will be interested in dating him. So, then, the question is: how does he avoid the "project-seeking-women" and find someone who is genuinely into a no-emotion involved whatsoever relationship. Personally, I have no clue. I'm just enjoying the ice cream. Yes, if you can help me find non-project seeking women, that's be real swell. P.S. I'll decline the ice cream date; not into sweets!
veggirl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 So you're hooking up with women who want to be the one who changes you. How old are these girls? I am assuming early, possibly mid 20s. When I was like 21 if a guy said I should stay away from him I probably would have giggled and been turned on a little bit. And then ended up getting hurt. At 29 though, I'd walk the other way and forget about him. If you tell someone seriously "I'm not looking for a relationship, at all" I don't see why they would then blame you when they get attached. 2
Kamille Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Yes, if you can help me find non-project seeking women, that's be real swell. The first thing I would recommend is that you avoid getting romantically involved with anyone who sends you a pm about this thread. 5
iKING Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I'm saying that sometimes being an assh0le and following their pecker is just being a dude and women need to stop lying to themselves about it. Peckers have a mind of their own. Keep it in the pants. Problem solved.
ThaWholigan Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 The only way you can solve this problem is to not f*ck these chicks if you know the pattern in the first place. It might sexually frustrate you, but it all depends on what you prioritize - your pleasure or your conscience. Try to do more to find women on the same wavelength if you don't want this problem. Sure, I feel that the girls should take it at face value, but in the end you engage them knowing the risk. That's everybody's fault . Make your choice.
Woggle Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 If he is completely honest from the start I fail to realize how these women are victims. I hate to say this but to certain women this really does make a man more attractive. Once you tell somebody exactly what the score is then it is on them whether they want to proceed or not. I have a friend who outright says to women that the only thing he wants is sex and when it is all over they can get up and leave. He tells them this directly and they get mad when they find out he is actually serious when he says it. If a man or a woman outright tells you these things believe them. If you eat a food labeled extremely hot and spicy you only have yourself to blame when your tongue is burning. 1
Absewarrior Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Fondue: I can't really tell how old you are from yr photo so I am unsure if this is appropriate, but if it doesn't resonate, please ignore. Honestly, I am not sure if I am more concerned about you hurting the feelings of girls who have expectations after sex with you, or the fact that you seem so down on your own character. Dude, not saying this in a bad way but if you are telling women how bad you are then you obviously believe that...might be time to decide to start becoming the man you want to be and stop worrying about the drama of teenage angst or whatever this is. Best of Luck, AW 2
youaremysunshine Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Fondue, these women are not a broken as you, they will form attachments even if they logically know you will not. Try to find someone equally as cold who is only looking for sex and no companionship whatsoever. There is nothing immoral about visiting prostitutes, provided you are respectful. Oh, and if you are spending time with these girls other than screwing you are A HYPOCRITE you are using them for companionship and to alieviate YOUR lonelinesss and fill YOUR emotional needs with considering theirs. Don't do it man. 1
youaremysunshine Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Also, consider only having one night stands with women also looking for one night stands, try the Internet. I can't stand it when I agree with a man that it's only about sex then he wants me to waste my time and energy hanging around him. If you are only looking to f#%k then do it and get out. I'm not here to stroke your ego or be affectionate if I'm never getting that in return
Author Fondue Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Fondue: I can't really tell how old you are from yr photo so I am unsure if this is appropriate, but if it doesn't resonate, please ignore. Honestly, I am not sure if I am more concerned about you hurting the feelings of girls who have expectations after sex with you, or the fact that you seem so down on your own character. Dude, not saying this in a bad way but if you are telling women how bad you are then you obviously believe that...might be time to decide to start becoming the man you want to be and stop worrying about the drama of teenage angst or whatever this is. Best of Luck, AW Hey AW, thanks for your observations . I'll be 26 in April, and I'm more or less the man I want to be. I am successful, have a six figure job, own a home, and provide for myself. I don't think this is teenage angst anymore, I just don't attach myself to people. I don't know how, or better yet, probably don't want to learn. Fondue, these women are not a broken as you, they will form attachments even if they logically know you will not. Try to find someone equally as cold who is only looking for sex and no companionship whatsoever. There is nothing immoral about visiting prostitutes, provided you are respectful. Oh, and if you are spending time with these girls other than screwing you are A HYPOCRITE you are using them for companionship and to alieviate YOUR lonelinesss and fill YOUR emotional needs with considering theirs. Don't do it man. This really hit me. Thanks for pointing it out. I do spend time with them for other than sex, and I do so when I am lonely. Damn. I don't know why having sex with them never triggered a response, but what you wrote kind of did. Thanks, really, for pointing it out. I think I have to start thinking about that. Also, consider only having one night stands with women also looking for one night stands, try the Internet. I can't stand it when I agree with a man that it's only about sex then he wants me to waste my time and energy hanging around him. If you are only looking to f#%k then do it and get out. I'm not here to stroke your ego or be affectionate if I'm never getting that in return I tried this the other day. I signed up for OKC to see what the hubbub was about. I met a lovely woman for first meetup. She ended up asking me to take her home because of how much we were clicking on every level. We had a passionate night. She wants to do it again, now I don't know if she wants to keep it casual or develop into something. I hope not to lead her on, maybe I'll talk to her about this when I see her next time.
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