tuxedo cat Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I've had so many guys make plans with me and then last minute flake on me, stand me up or blow me off that at this point it is hard for me to trust anyone. If I have a date set up I almost assume it will not happen and it's hard for me to get excited beforehand. I don't know how many times I've spent hours getting ready for a date only to get a last minute text that something came up -- or worse no text at all and they never show up. Has it become commonplace for people to do this? Are people really such cowards that they can't be direct and tell you that they're not interested?
2sure Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I dont date much anymore, but yeah - it does seem to be fairly common place when I read here , and when I talk to my daughter and her friends. Almost as though saying that you ar going to get together and do something specifically on a certain day ...is not a committment to it actually happening. Ive been a busy over scheduled person for most of my life - so appointments, meetings , and dates are something I write in INK. If someone cancels last minute - Im not that understanding. Its an inconvenience. I could have been using the time I put aside doing something else, or at least not preparing. I always always confirm a few hours for anything - even doctors appointments that were confirmed the day beofre. So, I certainly do the same for a social engagement. It isnt because Im paranoid, its becsause I know shyte happens and I will not waste my own time. Thats right! Im important, way too important to waste my time! You are too . If this is happening repeatedly, there must be something about you that is telling people - she wont mind. And that same something, might be the same reason they arent showing up. You are worth showing up for. Make sure everyone knows that. 1
StanMusial Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I've had so many guys make plans with me and then last minute flake on me, stand me up or blow me off that at this point it is hard for me to trust anyone. If I have a date set up I almost assume it will not happen and it's hard for me to get excited beforehand. I don't know how many times I've spent hours getting ready for a date only to get a last minute text that something came up -- or worse no text at all and they never show up. Has it become commonplace for people to do this? Are people really such cowards that they can't be direct and tell you that they're not interested? I think its worse if you are relying on cold approaches or online dating. Its easier to just ditch a random stranger than someone in your social circle. Because your rep would suffer for it, there are consequences other than a guilty conscience (which most people don't give a damn about anyway).
Sanitarium Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I've never flaked on somebody and neither have any of my friends. It's a really terrible thing I'm shocked to see a woman complain about it though - it's something that usually happens to men
Green Light Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I'm sure that flaking has always existed but it seems that since texting has become popular it's now an epidemic. It really shows just how immature and narcissistic this society has become. And it's also becoming extremely passive/aggressive. Silence and excuses are the new "NO."
FitChick Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Why not plan something that YOU want to do and if he doesn't show up you can still enjoy yourself. Some free, daytime activity so you wouldn't have to dress up. "I was planning to see/do XYZ on Sunday afternoon. You are welcome to come with me."
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