singme2sleep Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Whether you're the "dumper" or "dumpee" what would you say to your ex if you could. If you are in NC for whatever your circumstances are, and you could let them know exactly what you feel, what would you want them to know?! I've read that writing your ex a letter (not sending it) but just doing it to make yourself feel better, helps you heal. So I'm just curious...would you yell, pour out your heart etc???
Sheilalou008 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Omg, I wouldn't even know where to start. I have so many emotions running in my head at any given time. It is really a toss up. I found this earlier and seems to be the way I am feeling at this moment... Have you ever been so in love with someone, that you fall in love with the little things about them? The way they look when they are thinking, or focusing on something. The way their face lights up when they talk about something they absolutely love. The way they talk to other people, their facial expressions and their hand gestures. And just the looks they give you. The way they smile and laugh with you. The look in their eyes before they lean in to kiss you. When they run their hands down your arms and lock their fingers with yours. And oh, the goosebumps and butterflies they gave you. When they pull you into a hug and you feel all their muscles relax and yours do too, because in that moment, everything is utterly perfect and you feel so safe. And when you catch yourself looking at them, wondering what they are thinking. You are not only in love with their and personality, you're in love with their soul, every fiber of their being. And just the way they exist amazes you. It fascinates you, and you want to know every little thing about them...now tell me how is someone suppose to get over that? 5
Jingle14 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Omg, I wouldn't even know where to start. I have so many emotions running in my head at any given time. It is really a toss up. I found this earlier and seems to be the way I am feeling at this moment... Have you ever been so in love with someone, that you fall in love with the little things about them? The way they look when they are thinking, or focusing on something. The way their face lights up when they talk about something they absolutely love. The way they talk to other people, their facial expressions and their hand gestures. And just the looks they give you. The way they smile and laugh with you. The look in their eyes before they lean in to kiss you. When they run their hands down your arms and lock their fingers with yours. And oh, the goosebumps and butterflies they gave you. When they pull you into a hug and you feel all their muscles relax and yours do too, because in that moment, everything is utterly perfect and you feel so safe. And when you catch yourself looking at them, wondering what they are thinking. You are not only in love with their and personality, you're in love with their soul, every fiber of their being. And just the way they exist amazes you. It fascinates you, and you want to know every little thing about them...now tell me how is someone suppose to get over that? And that just about sums up how I felt (and how he did, for a time, about me). I wish I knew the answer, its eluded me so far and I've been single for 21 months now.
Keenly Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Give me the spare keys to my apartment and get your clothes before I toss them in them dumpster. 7
evondavis1 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I would say - you are a selfish SOB, who is impulsive. You care only about yourself, and not the family and son you left behind so you can start a new family. *********!!!!!
Thunderchild Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 My most recent ex? Nothing. Nothing at all. Oh, I'd ask her to take care of her dogs properly. At 4 years old they're not house trained yet, and one has a tendency to snap at people. 1
yessy21 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 what i would say to my last ex... Ur as dumb as rocks. I only wanted penis.
mutant Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 (edited) I would genuinely want to thank my ex for her decision to dump me.. this has made me reflect and improve on myself, become self-aware and yearn for greater things. Had i stayed in that emotionally abusive relationship I wouldn't have enrolled for a masters degree . I have had several chances to say something to her but I let it pass. NC all the way! Edited March 5, 2013 by mutant 5
Thunderchild Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Actually, I think I left exactly the right impression with my last ex. Basically, she got the message that I wasn't prepared to tolerate any of her cr*p. I wasn't prepared to tolerate her cheating, I wasn't prepared to put up with her BS excuses, I did expect her to take responsibility for her actions (as grown ups should), I told her how much she had meant to me without arguing begging, or grovelling (that's what you've thrown away, honey!). I refused her half-assed apology and gave her a no-nonsense 'get outta my sight!' She now knows exactly where she stands with me. After 17 days NC, no breadcrumbs, no cr*p. So, apart from the relationship going up the Swannee, not a bad outcome!
Harradin Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Have you ever been so in love with someone, that you fall in love with the little things about them? The way they look when they are thinking, or focusing on something. The way their face lights up when they talk about something they absolutely love. The way they talk to other people, their facial expressions and their hand gestures. And just the looks they give you. The way they smile and laugh with you. The look in their eyes before they lean in to kiss you. When they run their hands down your arms and lock their fingers with yours. And oh, the goosebumps and butterflies they gave you. When they pull you into a hug and you feel all their muscles relax and yours do too, because in that moment, everything is utterly perfect and you feel so safe. And when you catch yourself looking at them, wondering what they are thinking. You are not only in love with their and personality, you're in love with their soul, every fiber of their being. And just the way they exist amazes you. It fascinates you, and you want to know every little thing about them...now tell me how is someone suppose to get over that? How I've been feeling (for a while too,) but I'd say: "You're a total fool for what you did, you'll regret it, I promise, and you'll be asking yourself 'why the hell did I let him go?'" 3
Author singme2sleep Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Honestly, for me it changes everyday what I would say to him. Sometimes I want to tell at him, sometimes I want to be emotional and then there's weird moods I have when I want to apologize even though I didn't really do anything wrong. 2
Lost Fish Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I actually did write her a final email today. I called her on the chaos that is inside of her and told her I am now utterly committed to reconnecting with myself again. I told her I am sick of her taking me for granted and treating my love of her like it was a flaw in me. I've been so lost. By sending that I took my power back and am now in complete NC. I so want to find myself again. I'll get there. 1
sweetkiwi Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Today I feel like saying; "Dear A. You knew you didn't love me/couldn't love me. But you were too scared or complacent to leave. Or even give me straight ****ing answers like a 29 yo man should be able to do. Everything was left up to me to figure out so I of course raked myself over the coals because I was too hopeful about our situation." "Silly me!!! I don't feel my time was wasted with you. I learned a lot. Still am. And now that a new love interest has came into my life I am so happy my balls have seriously dropped and I can not put up with any **** from anyone and go into it feeling strong, hopeful, and free!!!!!!"
fancy feast Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) Filling space because of dumb 10 character rule. "Lol" Edit: Actually this isn't accurate, because a month ago I replied to a question with "Who is this?" (I genuinely didn't recognize the number) Edited March 6, 2013 by fancy feast 1
J_L_C Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I would say: "I think it's really disrespectful that in less than an hour after dropping the breakup bomb, you proceeded to try and get one last romp in the hay. Are you eff'ing crazy?! But then, you proceeded to jerk off right there in front of me as I was crying, because you were 'too fired up'?? Are you that selfish or just bloody stupid to see what you were doing?" ohhhhh and "by the way, you have a small little stub anyway hehe". (just kidding about the last part...I wouldn't stoop to his level despite the truth behind it!).
suladas Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Not sure if I would say anything. Maybe karmas a bitch? Move away so I can forget you even exist..... That would be a nice treat. I just no longer give a sh*t. It's a nice feeling.
ReadMyThread Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Is he really that much better than me? Same thing I'd say na49. :/. Hang in there man. 1
lovnlost Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 (edited) There are so many things......but right now.....I dont think she could explain anything to me that her actions and feelings prior to them havent already told me. What happened? maybe. There is much. But all of these question are not necessary now and I think and will set me back. I will not be weak. So.....I.will stay in no contact. I already wrote her a letter redefining us to make us better, I apologized for hurting her, told her how great she was, thanked her for making me a better.The ball is in her court. Edited March 6, 2013 by lovnlost 1
RR1 Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Whether you're the "dumper" or "dumpee" what would you say to your ex if you could. If you are in NC for whatever your circumstances are, and you could let them know exactly what you feel, what would you want them to know?! I've read that writing your ex a letter (not sending it) but just doing it to make yourself feel better, helps you heal. So I'm just curious...would you yell, pour out your heart etc??? I wouldn't yell at her, i wouldn't want to upset her, that would be pretty pointless. I think i'd like to say, i really did love you, i wished you could have given me the chance to prove it to you. I'm sitting here the calmest i have been in a long time. I think i have finally found acceptance. I wasn't perfect but i now realise that nothing i could have done would have made a difference. It wasn't meant to be and now i am at peace with that. I'm sad but accepting. Denial is no longer with me, it's left me.
Am4Real Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Agree with you. It changes often, especially in the early stages (less than six months) while one shifts through the different aspects of grieving whether it be anger, depression, acceptance, etc... In those first months and through six months you tend to replay a lot of scenerios, words, and experiences, sometimes focusing on all the good things and other times the deception, lies or whatever caused you trauma "then or even now". In that sense the words you might say or write to your EX are the opposite of what you're thinking about. If you're relieving the anger, one may tend to be in a forgiving or explaining mode. If your reliving or thinking through the good times, one might become angry that it is gone and the EX walked away from it. Just my thoughts this morning. All the best, Am4Real Honestly, for me it changes everyday what I would say to him. Sometimes I want to tell at him, sometimes I want to be emotional and then there's weird moods I have when I want to apologize even though I didn't really do anything wrong. 1
Author singme2sleep Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 [quote=lovnlost;4663710 I will stay in no contact. I already wrote her a letter redefining us to make us better, I apologized for hurting her, told her how great she was, thanked her for making me a better. The ball is in her court. At this point that's all you can do, as much as it sucks. For me it's like a rollercoaster of emotions. Each day I feel different, I go from ok to sad to angry to ok again. It's an endless cycle. But I can't expect to be over him this soon so I won't punish myself. Instead this week I'm going to keep busy and just do things for me. Hope your Sunday is going alright!
Author singme2sleep Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 In that sense the words you might say or write to your EX are the opposite of what you're thinking about. If you're relieving the anger, one may tend to be in a forgiving or explaining mode. If your reliving or thinking through the good times, one might become angry that it is gone and the EX walked away from it. You are right. Yesterday was the first time in the almost 2 months since my breakup, that I allowed myself to get angry. Even though I wasn't actually yelling at my ex, it was a release to write it out in words. I kept making excuses for him but the truth is that even if he felt he was sparing me and not dragging me down, losing him still hurts. So I'm letting myself feel everything I need to and slowly but surely I will find a way to get over him. .
Recommended Posts