Cogee Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 We were in a long distance relationship (2 hours drive) for over a year when things turned turned after new years. She dumped me and immediately removed me from facebook and had stopped looking at my texts (I know because the app tells you when they were last online and she never received one of my texts/online prior to our official breakup). I ask her if there is someone else and she says no. I go strict no contact with her and maintain that for over a month. I avoid using skype since I know she is on it and after a month a learn that she actually was seeing someone else almost immediately after we broke up (though she may have been seeing him before since I suspected something between her and him for a few months). Pissed off, I sign in and see that she is online from her mobile but I decide it's not worth it and I don't say anything to her. The next morning I see that she has removed me from it. I realize at this point that I'm moving on quite and with this new information about her bf I want to cut all ties to her. I realize that she still has my stuff in her apartment so I break NC to ask for them. She immediately responds to my request and says she can mail them to me. I responded with my address details and listed some of the things I want but she didn't respond after that. That was 7 days ago and so I sent her another email yesterday asking if she sent them yet or when she plans to send them. No response. So now I am left wondering, what the hell is going on? Will I get my stuff back? Why is she treating me like this when I have been nothing but respectful to her?
InfiniteWorth Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 She seems to be afraid of confrontation. I don't think she's going to take the initiative on this one. Are you opposed to bringing a friend for a little road trip, knocking on her door, and taking your stuff back?
Author Cogee Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 You're right, she does seem afraid for some reason. She actually chose to break up with me at a coffee shop in public with people all around. I have never given her a reason to be afraid of me so I don't understand what is going on. I've always been very supportive and warm and caring. I could arrange a road trip but it will have to wait a while since I am extremely busy. She apparently had the "in a relationship with" on facebook with this new person on Valentines day (2 weeks after breakup) and then 2 weeks after that photos of them looking happy as a couple. I don't get it, if she is happy with this guy, she doesn't have feelings for me anymore (her words at breakup), and I never said a negative word to her, just said "thanks for all the good memories, good luck in life, do what makes you happy, friendship is out of the question until I can sort my feelings, please don't contact me" then why be so avoiding? Then again, she didn't mention the other guy when she broke up even when I asked if there was someone else. Is it guilt? Shouldn't she be happy to return all my stuff then to get me to leave her life?
Author Cogee Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 So she responded today basically saying she has been extremely busy and if it is urgent I may have to have someone pick up my things. I'm very busy at the moment so I don't think it's worth my time to do this right now but on the other hand it would be nice to be free of her completely. Not really sure what to do sigh... I know I am at the bottom of her "to do list" ladder but it's kind of frustrating because for her to mail my things is pretty trivial. Get a box. Put stuff in box. Go to post office. End. I know her area well and there is a postoffice within 15mins walking distance of her place. She could literally handle this in less time than it would take for me to drive half way there.
Chi townD Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Is it guilt? Shouldn't she be happy to return all my stuff then to get me to leave her life? Yeah, I agree. She's got a lot of guilt and shame when it comes to you. But, I don't think that she's holding your stuff hostage over it. I think that she's just busy and hasn't gotten around to it yet. Could be why she hasn't replied back to you. She already hurt you, why would he want to hear more excuses from me. Just give it time. If you haven't recieved anything in the mail or she hasn't responded back after a period of time. If it were me, I would just write those items off. 1
flitzanu Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 she isnt treating you like anything, and she isnt acting "weird" about anyhig. your items are not her priority, and her speaking to you is not her priority. if you want it done with, send a friend to get them and BE over it instead of dragging out the drama and creating issues that aren't happening. 2
Author Cogee Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 You're right, I do seem to be making an issue from nothing. My next communication with her will end this. Thanks guys! 1
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