cps Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 hi im new to this forum! please let me know your opinion and advices. i would really appreciate it! Ive been with my ex girlfriend for more than 4 years and we broke up last December. the reason we broke up is because she was already fed up with me, everytime i would get jealous over these guys she works with..yeah i know she has her point breaking up with me.. for how many times we had an argument regarding this matter. but i reallty cant help it! we still see each other the whole month of December and January after we broke up i even drop and fetch her at work, have our breakfast together etc..i even gave her flowers on velentines day she even hug and kiss me after i gave it to her. everytime i would see her tears would go down on my cheeks and i kept on asking her to take back the decision she made, i even asked her if she found someone new thats why she come up with that decision, and she would angrily tell me that theres no one its just that she was fed up.ive tried everything i can do. coz i still believe things would work out for both of us, but still she would say no! After valentines day i tried opening her email and i saw a picture of her and a guy (her workmate), picture was taken to be exact January 19 i also saw a message from this guy saying "iloveyou" and saying "i miss you too"... i confronted her regarding this and she defended herself that it was just a picture and nothing more. i want to believe with what she told me? but a guy saying iloveyou and imissyou means something more.. i got really depressed coz i still cant imagine what happend to us..i wish she have just told me everything.i kept on blaming myself for everything, but after what i saw through her e-mail.. im still a fool and still want her back. she still stays in contact with me now.. after i stopped seeing her and sending her messages for a week. i cant really figured out whats on her mind she even told me she wants to be friends with me.. i told her i cant coz i still love her.. but i have no self control everytime she would text me i would reply to her messages even if i feel shes making fun of my feelings.. and playing mind games with me.. im such a saint.. but i love her and i dont want to let her feel the same rejection and hurt she had cause me.. i still want her back and i really love her..
marklarsson Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 what you need my friend is NO CONTACT. she cannot have her cake and eat it too. you have to cut all ties. you have already said that you cant be friends with her cause you still love her. so she shouldnt understand if you stop contacting her completely. secondly avoid ever logging into her email or anything else, while on no contact. 1
Chi townD Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Dude! Why do you want to be with a person that is cheating on you and lying to you. You deserve better and everyday you let her string you along is on day lost to your healing process. One thing about cheaters, they will only admit to what you can prove. All you have is a photo....so, she'll only admit to a picture and nothing more. You know she's hooking up with this guy and I know it. You saw a picture of them two together. So, she's spending time with this guy. You have to wonder what excuse that she used to be with him to take that picture. Where were you at this time and what did SHE tell you she was doing. Hanging with her girlfriend? Visiting her mom? All of it was a lie. Dude, time to cut her loose. 3
flitzanu Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 why is this confusing? she broke up with you, anf made it clear she doesn't want to be with you. you keep chasing her and letting her keep you around. her being your friend or speakig to you has nothing to do with her wanting you or being in love with you. cut the cord, man.
TaserTag Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 It sounds like she's trying to move on with a new guy and is stringing you along for the benefits (you're familiar to her, give her rides to work and attention, flatter her.. someone she sees as safe and easy to keep around for favors and an ego boost). You say she broke up with you because you were being jealous and fighting over guys at her work, but you 'can't help it.' That's something you'll have to work on in any case. Whoever your girlfriend is, she will probably be in contact with other men at work. In this case, of course, your jealousy may have been well-founded. But if you can't trust the girl after being with her for over four years, it was not working. And I hope you weren't serious when you say "I'm such a saint." You're being a doormat and clinging to someone who is obviously dating other people and dumped you. You're hoping that she will come back to you if you just stick around, obviously. If your girlfriend dates and fools around with other guys and then decides she wants to get back together, will you be okay with that? Or will you be jealous and unable to deal with that? I agree with everyone else in that you need to stop talking to her. Tell her that you still have romantic feelings for her and can't be friends and she needs to leave you alone for a while, and then don't respond to her 'friendly/pointless' messages. And I'd think about whether or not you really want her back if she's been with other guys...
Sososad Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Great advice above . Think all you can do is cut contact You gotta look after yourself now . And to do that give yourself even 2 weeks to try clear your head . You owe yourself that much .. Noone else is gonna look out for you but yourself .. Create some space and try figure it out ! I find the pic a hard one to believe but I can relate love is blind .. But this sorta evidence don't sound good. Just imagine it was a friend of yours saying he found photo of his gf what would u say...
Author cps Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 hi yah all guys! thanks for your advices.. 2 days after i posted this.. ive found out more with her hook up thing.. 2 months before we break she was already cheating on me.. hanging out with this guy and some oh her girl friends wer there.. i feel sorry for myself,,, believing and blaming myself for everything.. im so stupid now knowing that all.. maybe they were all laughing at me now.. my ex, her guy, and her friends..
Chi townD Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 Dude, you found out the truth. Now, this should be a relief to you in a way. Now, you know that you didn't cause the demise of the relationship. SHE was the one lying to you. SHE was the one that as going outside the relationship. SHE was the one that disregarded your relationship and your feelings. She was dishonest and an evil person to do that to you. Time to walk with your head held high. This wasn't your fault (even if she tries to tell you that it was). How did you find out the truth? 1
Author cps Posted March 7, 2013 Author Posted March 7, 2013 ive come across with her friends fb account, and others.. well i dont care about her now.. whatever she did.. i leave it all to God..
purplereigncb Posted March 7, 2013 Posted March 7, 2013 ive come across with her friends fb account, and others.. well i dont care about her now.. whatever she did.. i leave it all to God.. It sucks, but it's good you have more evidence to help you move forward.
marklarsson Posted March 8, 2013 Posted March 8, 2013 We could have all told you it was likely that she cheated before but it's good that you found out for yourself. With me things like this is always the last straw and most of the time when an ex rebounds that's also a last straw for me because its a complete disregard for what the relationship meant
Author cps Posted March 12, 2013 Author Posted March 12, 2013 yeah.. ive should have known it before. i mailed her last time and did say everthing ive found out and what ive really felt about it. i even told her its much easier for me to move on knowing the truth. than blaming myself for everything, i even lose my weight because of it. i also told her that i dont even need any explanation with what she did.. its enough for me to know everything though i all figured it out when she have already broken up with me.. i got a message from her telling me that she was crying while she was reading my message she even confess that she really goes out with this guy and her friends not telling me. but she pointed out that even those times she goes out with them. she never did hook with some other guy. it really s #@% *!!! knowing the fact that she goes out without me knowing it. she even told me that she dont want things to be complicated and dont want to be unfair thats why she broke up with me. she wants me to be like what she's trying to be now.. she apologize and thank me for everything.. still i want to talk to her i even want her to apologize infront of me like what i always do for her. i also want my things back, but i could not even take a step to ask her, i dont know if im mad.. or still im waiting and hanging on for her that she would come back and would still realize everything.. am i still doing the right thing? still hoping?
cavalier99 Posted March 12, 2013 Posted March 12, 2013 yeah.. ive should have known it before. i mailed her last time and did say everthing ive found out and what ive really felt about it. i even told her its much easier for me to move on knowing the truth. than blaming myself for everything, i even lose my weight because of it. i also told her that i dont even need any explanation with what she did.. its enough for me to know everything though i all figured it out when she have already broken up with me.. i got a message from her telling me that she was crying while she was reading my message she even confess that she really goes out with this guy and her friends not telling me. but she pointed out that even those times she goes out with them. she never did hook with some other guy. it really s #@% *!!! knowing the fact that she goes out without me knowing it. she even told me that she dont want things to be complicated and dont want to be unfair thats why she broke up with me. she wants me to be like what she's trying to be now.. she apologize and thank me for everything.. still i want to talk to her i even want her to apologize infront of me like what i always do for her. i also want my things back, but i could not even take a step to ask her, i dont know if im mad.. or still im waiting and hanging on for her that she would come back and would still realize everything.. am i still doing the right thing? still hoping? IT IS OVER. BURN THAT B*TCH OUT OF YOU MIND. Time for hard core NC. No contact at all. Not even 1 text nothing. Disappear like a ninja. You will heal this way. Cav
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