yolo Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 I am a woman who had body odor, due to a medical condition, in the past. Never been married, 28 years old. I have worked hard to get my health back and it was no walk in the park. However, the harsh treatment which I received from others due to this problem has scarred me, for life I believe. No guy who knows of me would ever date me and the way some of them treat me is reminiscent of being on a school playground. Nobody plays with me, if you get my drift. And they laugh at and sneer at me openly, publicly, in groups. So, while in another city I met a guy who has no idea about my past. I have been having a Long distance relationship with him. I know the rumor will get to him, if not to him, certainly to his friends and family members. I figure they may not tell him if they hear it, but only try to get rid of me in an undercover (cruel) way AND ridicule him (his friends). I am scared witless remembering how everyone else treated and continue to treat me. I'm just afraid that a) I'm misleading him. I am attractive, but he doesn't know that I'm a basically a joke to many men. b) He'll feel betrayed by me, misused and scarred. c)Other women will judge him in the future for having dated me. d) he won't want to be seen with me anywhere. He'll be ashamed of me. I have experienced moving to another city and know that it only takes one person to start rumors and put their spin on something. Most don't seem to care that it was a medical condition anyway. It's just hilarious to everyone, dehumanizing to me. And I know how quickly everybody just joins in the fun of behaving badly toward me. If not for a desire for a relationship, I could live just fine with the harassment, but I do want a relationship and I do feel like I am in a desperate position. I don't want him to see me as desperate either. Can I survive a relationship? I don't want to be a part of a scorned couple. People just go with the crowd on this one. Very Insecure
rogueless Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 Well, if someone holds a past medical condition against you, they weren't worth it anyway. If you don't mind my asking, what kind of medical condition would make you have body odor? I have heard this before and know it exists, but I don't know what causes it. It would not bother me personally. It probably makes you a more compassionate person. You could tell him. Like I said, if he rejects you, its HIS problem not yours. Good luck.
Kizzyfur Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 I would suggest you tell him before the rumors get to him. It would be best that he knows the truth before someone is able to warp his mind with rumors. If he breaks up with you for having had an illness, he's a loser anyhow. If he really cares for you though, it shouldn't bother him that you once had this problem.
soccorsilly Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 A past medical condition is PAST! How many ugly ducklings in high school have turned into beauties...look at Chelsea or HIlary Clinton. People change and if you are attractive and he is attractive to you, there should be no issue. Why would people in a new city begin rumors? They dont know you. As for me, I am attracted to the woman I know--not who she may have been many years ago.
Author yolo Posted September 5, 2004 Author Posted September 5, 2004 I certainly hope that is the case. It's like my only flaw, well the only one I care about, is my reputation. I have had a lot of experience with moving, because I was in the military. I know it doesn't take much. But then again, it was true then too. I just don't know. I just feel funny about people acting like I don't ever bathe, and I must be some crazy piece of filth. It's the most frightening experience I ever had. They all just descend like parana (fish with teeth). I'm glad I saw that side of people. I really am. Yet, I'm frightened that they will keep me from a relationship. The only thing they can keep from me in my opinion. I guess my own fear made it horrible for me. Maybe there is a man who doesn't bend because others feel free to unleash all their venom on me. soccorsilly, that quote is so funny.
ladyangel Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 If someone really wants to get to know you, date you, have a future with you, they're going to base their opinions of you on what they see and experience themselves. Stop worrying about what someone "might" say to a future boyfriend. None of that matters. If the guy gets to know you now -- and you say you don't have that medical problem anymore, right? -- then he's got nothing against you. What's someone going to say..."Oh, she used to smell." Well, so what! If he's worth getting to know, he won't care.
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