cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Ive been dating this guy for about 3 months, things were great at first but hes just so shy and thats what bothers me. I'm a really open person so we are like opposites; lately this other guy has been flirting with me and id never cheat on my bf but it makes me realize that i want to. And i'm pretty sure that if that thought could come across my mind than something is wrong. I'm just so bored with my relationship he never tries to get with me; we had sex once and he finished in like a minute so im thinking maybe hes embarrassed but come on. Most guys would jump in traffic to get with me. I want to break up with him but i dont know what to do, i feel like id break his existence doing so hes so nice and puts up with my weirdness im sure thats not worth throwing away but i dont knw what else to do. opinions plz?
Amelie1980 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Ive been dating this guy for about 3 months, things were great at first but hes just so shy and thats what bothers me. I'm a really open person so we are like opposites; lately this other guy has been flirting with me and id never cheat on my bf but it makes me realize that i want to. And i'm pretty sure that if that thought could come across my mind than something is wrong. I'm just so bored with my relationship he never tries to get with me; we had sex once and he finished in like a minute so im thinking maybe hes embarrassed but come on. Most guys would jump in traffic to get with me. I want to break up with him but i dont know what to do, i feel like id break his existence doing so hes so nice and puts up with my weirdness im sure thats not worth throwing away but i dont knw what else to do. opinions plz? You have quite a big opinion of yourself! He's shy, you're bored, he's useless in bed......! Poor guy. I wouldn't break his existence not to be with you......he would find someone better for him who wants to be with him. 3
Gottabestrong Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Hi Panda, thought I'd check in on your thread, since you were so kind to post some advice in mine. Here is what I think: you should talk to him about it! Really, if you dump him you will feel bad for hurting him, but if you talk to him first and give him a chance to rectify what is bugging you, then you will know that you honestly gave it a try to work on it. Just sit him down and tell him what is bothering you and ask him what he thinks about it. Also tell him that in order for this relationship to continue things need to change because you are not happy. I know that if my guy had done that, I would feel much better now, even after he dumped me, because I knew he was not happy and I would also feel like he gave me a chance to rectify things. Or a chance to realize that we are just not compatible and could separate as friends. Good luck with whatever you decide to do! 2
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 not what i meant, its just i work at a bar i get hit on several times a night. And my bf dosnt rlly try anymore. Hes so nice probably the nicest guy ive met he just bores me though and makes me feel terrible about myself if he dsnt want me. And i have no idea how to tackle this one. hence why i posted this.
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Thanks, miss gottabestrong. And ya the most i can do is try to talk to him about it but i tried and he just said nothing was wrong, and he also cant admit that he is shy, i even got him to ask his friends and they agreed with me.
todreaminblue Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Ive been dating this guy for about 3 months, things were great at first but hes just so shy and thats what bothers me. I'm a really open person so we are like opposites; lately this other guy has been flirting with me and id never cheat on my bf but it makes me realize that i want to. And i'm pretty sure that if that thought could come across my mind than something is wrong. I'm just so bored with my relationship he never tries to get with me; we had sex once and he finished in like a minute so im thinking maybe hes embarrassed but come on. Most guys would jump in traffic to get with me. I want to break up with him but i dont know what to do, i feel like id break his existence doing so hes so nice and puts up with my weirdness im sure thats not worth throwing away but i dont knw what else to do. opinions plz? harsh.........maybe he is embarrassed maybe he respects you more than just a piece of meat to sleep with.....boredom huh.....you wan ta traffic surfer.....recipe for heartache......fro you....in my opinion you should try and have fun with your boyfriend do things you like together....sex is fun yeah but it isnt the lifeblood of a relationship ...understanding and acceptance contribute to the life blood as does fun ....fun you have outside of bed sheets...things that bought you together in the first place, shared interests or hobbies....dreams...why not set a date for just fun......and see how that goes before you say i am bored..give it a go ...and i wish you happiness in love.......deb
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 playing pool at the bar was what brought us together lol. and we do that every weekend. and ya i get sex isnt a relationship but it should be part of a healthy one.
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 anyhow thanks for the replys it helps
Amelie1980 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 playing pool at the bar was what brought us together lol. and we do that every weekend. and ya i get sex isnt a relationship but it should be part of a healthy one. Pool at the bar? So there's nothing else in the whole wide world to do? You've only been together 3 months.....find some fun things to do, picnic in the park, walk by a river, beach, lake....TALK TO EACH OTHER. hold hands, be romantic......pool at the bar and sex.....there's more to a relationship. find some romance. 1
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 im terirble at explaining things.. we go out and eat at restaurants, we live in a really boring town so ya pool at the bar is kind of one of the only things to do rlly do. its also winter so picnics wouldnt really work. I just feel like the attraction is lacking was all i meant.
Amelie1980 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Can you go for a drive somewhere? Winter walks can be lovely..... 1
coolstoryybro Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 i definitely think that hanging out and doing stuff outside the sheets isnt the problem, he obviously has his own problems. Since you say you guys do go out and do stuff, maybe a break so he can realize what he had might help? Or it could also make it worse but i dont rlly see anything else to do.
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I wouldn't jump traffic to be with you - no insult. I just wouldn't get crushed for no girl. It's good you won't cheat...at least physically. The guy is no fun. Yet, why don't you talk to him, about his boring attitude? A relationship's main strength is communication, not sex. Fun in a relationship will dwindle down. That's why you work together to bring it back. Eitherway, least you will dump him before screwing another guy. That's good.
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 i definitely think that hanging out and doing stuff outside the sheets isnt the problem, he obviously has his own problems. Since you say you guys do go out and do stuff, maybe a break so he can realize what he had might help? Or it could also make it worse but i dont rlly see anything else to do. Thing is, that wouldn't work. I am sure he realizes what he's got. If sex is the issue...work on that too. Make the minute man an hour or so man... Hey...op...how old are you guys btw?
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 ya the traffic thing was just a metaphor.. -_- and we are 20; thanks for the reply i was kind of at a loss of what to do at this point.
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 ya the traffic thing was just a metaphor.. -_- and we are 20; thanks for the reply i was kind of at a loss of what to do at this point. I was joking too. You are at that age, as to where sex/fun are very important. Even though there are much more admirable qualities in a relationship. Just try to communicate...you seem like a smart lady. I am proud you didn't cheat, with mister flirt. Also, think, who will be there more for you?
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 If he doesn't(sorry forgot this) listen to your appeals and makes an effort to spice things up...i'd consider it a lack of interest.
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 yes exactly, which is why i wonder why its even possibly a problem in the first place. Makes me think im the problem; thankyou tho ur last sentence definitely hit home a bit.
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 yes exactly, which is why i wonder why its even possibly a problem in the first place. Makes me think im the problem; thankyou tho ur last sentence definitely hit home a bit. Hm...i hate it, when a lady is harsh on herself. You are a person and enjoy things too, no? Not you're fault, persay, that this is happening. What it probably is...is a compatible issue. In anycase, you said you didn't want to hurt him. I just gave an alternative for you to first try: talk it out. Then, decide on the results. Eitherway, you are alright. Your stage of life is young. You're just getting started with the world. He won't die, if you breakup. Like I said: I am proud of how mature, you arehandling this. Sigh* bad typos...phone key was reset, and am not used to it...gotta upgrade it.
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 yes i know talking it out is the only solution, but he wont even acknowledge that hes shy. Thanks for thinking i'm handling this maturely? i didnt know if i was.
Toddbt12y1 Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 yes i know talking it out is the only solution, but he wont even acknowledge that hes shy. Thanks for thinking i'm handling this maturely? i didnt know if i was. You are indeed. You'd be surprised at how some others would handle it. If he won't acknowledge it...then you cannot help him. Then don't waste your time. 2
Author cosmicpanda Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 Can you go for a drive somewhere? Winter walks can be lovely..... lol ya for sure in -40 weather
weallfalldown Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Do the guy a favour and leave him, he's better off without you..... Perhaps you should come down to earth a little......
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