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Wonder if she thinks of me ever


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Posted

It's been ten months post BU, about three solid months of NC, after our eight year realtionship.

 

There are too many memories to write here- as I'm sure you can all relate to, but I just cannot help but wonder if she ever thinks about me- or am I just a faded memory.

 

I'm sure she's got someone new, hell she's probably had SEVERAL "someone news". I wouldn't know, as I go out of my way not to find out.

 

Either way, I don't think a single day- or even an hour or two, where I didn't find myself immersed in some thought of her.

 

Just can't help but to wonder if I'm a thought.

Posted

pick yourself up and dust yourself off, man. nobody, and i mean nobody can forget about a person after eight years together....unless they've had a frontal lobotomy.

 

where's your self-esteem and common sense? chin up!

  • Author
Posted

Lol You're right. I'm just having a weak moment I guess. I've been slowly doing better at pulling my life back together. I hate it when I get like this- makes me think I'm going backwards again.

 

I have been with other people, the problem is i don't WANT to be. I just feel like I'm not ready yet- which is ridiculous because she certainly doesn't feel that way.

 

Thanks for the reply, it almost made me kick myself Lol

Posted

Yea I understand where you are coming from.. Its an important need to know how easily we can be written off. I think it kind of is a way we reconcile the value of the relationship in their eyes vs. ours.

 

Good for your for doing everything you can to NOT KNOW.

 

I live with my ex still.. He just got back from a two week trip to mexico with a guy he was on and off seeing. Its the same places he went with me several times. I have seen some of the pictures online, and it manages to bring me down. I sit and wonder, "did I haunt you like you haunt me? Did I creep into your mind and stir the pot when you were all those places and I wasn't there?" The answers is probably no.. He does a better job at compartmentalizing and shutting things out. We are here, they are not. People process differently

 

It's been ten months post BU, about three solid months of NC, after our eight year realtionship.

 

There are too many memories to write here- as I'm sure you can all relate to, but I just cannot help but wonder if she ever thinks about me- or am I just a faded memory.

 

I'm sure she's got someone new, hell she's probably had SEVERAL "someone news". I wouldn't know, as I go out of my way not to find out.

 

Either way, I don't think a single day- or even an hour or two, where I didn't find myself immersed in some thought of her.

 

Just can't help but to wonder if I'm a thought.

Posted

it's perfectly ok to feel the way that you do. it's 100% normal and natural. i just want to remind you that you are valuable, worth knowing, and cannot be forgotton so easily. when you start feeling like you do now, remind yourself of that.

 

8 years is a long time, and history works in your favor, ok?

  • Author
Posted

Thank you both.

 

It's incredible that people here know EXACTLY how I'm feeling- right down to the letter.

 

I'm hoping these thoughts will pass quickly, as they usually do. Oddly, i thought 10 months ago I would NEVER make it this far. I'm still here!

 

Yes, I guess I'm doing exactly that: seeing if she put as much "value" into our former life together as I did, but I guess in the end it really does not matter. It's just over.

 

This is such a crappy emotional place to be in life. And I will absolutely continue to NOT find out anything, and I mean ANYTHING about her, or her present or future life. It, along with NC has served me well so far. I think I'd be devastated otherwise.

 

Yep, picking myself up and dusting myself off!

 

Thanks

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