The Outlaw Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Yeah, frequently. You're just so used to being disappointed you feel as if you don't have another shot, let alone want to try again.
Soxfaninfl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I feel like giving up too sometimes. I have days that I want to find someone and feel the love of a women again. Nothing in this world is greater than the love of a women. What I would give to have that again. I also have days that I don't want to risk being hurt again like I was in my divorce. My divorce almost broke me. It was the hardest thing I've ever had to endure in my life.
Green Light Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 forget dating and regular sex For a guy that has a healthy drive that's like saying "forget food and water". Sure, you can try to forget it but it's always there in the background nagging at you. Someone told me that back in the olden days the military would give the troops something called "salt peter" to make them forget about sex. They would slip it into their food. Anyone got any of that?
El Brujo Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Has anyone out there been SOOOOO hurt in the love department that you contemplate not ever becoming romantically involved again? Yep, that sounds like my best male friend. For ten years he was married to a woman with narcissistic personality disorder. Right after his divorce he kept pulling a long lip and whining that he wished he'd been as picky as I am.
Author J_L_C Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 You sound like me several years before I met my fiance. Go MGTOW. Just take yourself off the market, let the internal wounds heal, live life, do things, have fun, think of yourself, forget dating and regular sex, and just have fun in life. Work, build the career, study, exercise, travel, whatever suits you. I would tell you not to hate women, but simply do not take them seriously in a dating standpoint. When you're ready mentally and you meet the right woman, you'll then decide to come back into the fold. Heehee...I should clarify that I AM A WOMAN lol. So you should be telling me not to hate MEN and hopefully I will meet the right MAN lol. Just giving you a hard time What is MGTOW?
Author J_L_C Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 I am back and forth on this whole 'should I bother dating or not'. I am stuck on the whole "Don't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you". My ex broke up with me out of the blue and couldn't give me any reasons whatsoever. After pushing and prying, he basically said he had fallen out of love with me. He explained that he just needs to 'do his thing' for now and needs time and space apart to 'figure things out'. I realize that these things may actually have nothing to do with me and totally to do with him and trying to see where his life is going. It's made me lose hope in relationships and I wonder if being single is the answer. He did explain to me that if a couple is to ever try again, it should be some years down the road because reconciliation early on will simply hasten another breakup. Do you believe it's possible for an ex to date around, get that time and space apart, and then eventually realize what they had with you WAS a good thing? Maybe dating others will show them the grass isn't always greener? But what if there has been TOO much time away from each other? Will they even consider you? Assume you've moved on far beyond them?
Soxfaninfl Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 I am back and forth on this whole 'should I bother dating or not'. I am stuck on the whole "Don't be with someone who doesn't want to be with you". My ex broke up with me out of the blue and couldn't give me any reasons whatsoever. After pushing and prying, he basically said he had fallen out of love with me. He explained that he just needs to 'do his thing' for now and needs time and space apart to 'figure things out'. I realize that these things may actually have nothing to do with me and totally to do with him and trying to see where his life is going. It's made me lose hope in relationships and I wonder if being single is the answer. He did explain to me that if a couple is to ever try again, it should be some years down the road because reconciliation early on will simply hasten another breakup. Do you believe it's possible for an ex to date around, get that time and space apart, and then eventually realize what they had with you WAS a good thing? Maybe dating others will show them the grass isn't always greener? But what if there has been TOO much time away from each other? Will they even consider you? Assume you've moved on far beyond them? I feel if there are kids involved then your never too far apart. My ex told me she fell out of love too, and I feel she will see that the grass isnt greener. By then it maybe to late for her because I know I have a lot to offer and will have moved on with someone else.
Rauy Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Sort of. I fell crazy in (unrequited) love once with a girl that pushed all the right buttons, but it would have probably been a bad mistake even if she'd continued to like me (she was a hypocritical, controlling, bipolar sociopath.) Was wrecked for a long time. Later realized I'm only strongly attracted to certain messed up, bipolar girls. Now I'm mid/late 30's, and so little about "love" even interests me. I continue to imagine the fairy tale of finding a good-hearted, honorable woman that I have a mutual attraction with and shares my interests, but realistically I don't see that happening. I have similar experiences. I´ve been in this black hole for 3 years now, i´m 29. It took almost 2 to get back to my feet and get my self-esteem back to the level before. Once i got trough the hate, in a way she made me a better man, more rigid, stable and firm. 1
Author J_L_C Posted March 6, 2013 Author Posted March 6, 2013 I have similar experiences. I´ve been in this black hole for 3 years now, i´m 29. It took almost 2 to get back to my feet and get my self-esteem back to the level before. Once i got trough the hate, in a way she made me a better man, more rigid, stable and firm. Could I ask, have you been involved with anyone since? I'm finding I'm having great troubles with this. I don't ever think I could feel this strongly for another person again. It scares me. I was such a hopeless romantic prior to this and was so optimistic in the area of love. But now I have trust issues and an overall negative impression. I'm scared it will never change.
Rauy Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 Could I ask, have you been involved with anyone since? I'm finding I'm having great troubles with this. I don't ever think I could feel this strongly for another person again. It scares me. I was such a hopeless romantic prior to this and was so optimistic in the area of love. But now I have trust issues and an overall negative impression. I'm scared it will never change. Yes i have. I get approached a lot, that took away the negativity. I went to a spree of one night stands for about a year. I just did not care, I tried to fix my self esteem, i needed validation and skin-to-skin contact. I never told anyone about that it was all for the cuddles. Like you said, I was also a romantic, very patient and understanding and a bit naive. I guess you were also the type that has to earn their love? After the spree, I had a couple of girls which i saw for a month or two. Ended both because of trust and compatibility issues. Some bar girls here and there. There are a lot of girls who approach me ,want to know me and date me, most of them for superficial reasons, I think. It´s not about the trust anymore, i´m just not feeling it. Girls seem kinda boring now. And my aloof behavior attracts them even more. Also don´t bottle your feelings, and be truthful. Say you have issues. I think you will be surprised. I was. If they don´t appreciate you, take it as a passive rejection, a test. They don´t understand you, and they dont want to understand, so they are out.
Author J_L_C Posted March 10, 2013 Author Posted March 10, 2013 Since my breakup 7 months ago, I've finally tried getting out and dating a bit. I don't go in with high hopes because I know I'll never find a better match for me than my ex. I can't help but compare these new guys to my ex. I don't know how I'll ever get past it!
todreaminblue Posted March 10, 2013 Posted March 10, 2013 Has anyone out there been SOOOOO hurt in the love department that you contemplate not ever becoming romantically involved again? I had a terrible experience 7 months ago and it's made me question ever wanting to have another relationship. There is so much pressure to become a duo in our society but I honestly wonder if it'd just be easier to remain single. I don't want to get hurt again. It's not worth it. I used to feel this way, that i was forever not going to be with anyone else when i broke up, in fact, i did something really stupid.......i got a tattoo more as a brand than a love......more a punishment for me to remain eternally single than an expression of commitment to my ex........i was clean skinned and proud of that fact thirty odd years no ink..i was quite sick at the time i got the tattoo.......now several years on....i realize it is possible for me to fall in love again and yes i want a relationship so now i have to turn this tattoo into a bar code or a black censored square..its on the back of my neck so it is gonna sting.......so my moral of the story is....never put a tattoo on your body of a guys name or a girls name.....or do it when you are mentally sick in the head or another moral is....i am really stoopid....because i fell again.....like getting hit by a bus , rolled under a car.....yep stoopid. .deb
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