Vallez Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 There is this guy I seen just a few times, then he moved out of the country. Last time I've seen him it was amazing. Then he comes back, then he vanishes. Then we do not talk for 2 months, we both do nothing, no fights or anything. Then I get confused and I email him after 2 months of no contact and tell him to be honest with me that i'll move on and leave our friendship for good if he wants to, that ignoring someone is a childish and unmature thing and that he does not need to send me any feedback on my issue if he doesn't want to. Basiclly I was going for some closure and wanted to be nice, its how I do things in life, no matter if someone is ignorant ass... Then I am pissed because he doesn't reply. Then I notice all of the sudden he appears offline to me on my MSN, wtf? (the day I sent him my email) Dude blocked me (and he was always 24/7 there avaliable)!! Then I go out with my friends and get drunk and send him emotional email, again. Decent email with dignity! BUT- Then, after a week he eventually replies, he says he didn't get my email, he claims he is busy last few weeks, that he almost got sacked, that his life is extremly stressfull, he aplogizes to me. He says he wants me in his life when he sort things out when he will be not busy 24/7 and have time for me. Okay, what does that mean? Yes, I like him. Why? Actions speak louder then the words! He won me with this, he is amazing without this virtual insanity. I still didn't respond to his email (10 days) he responded in 3 minutes, when I sent him this stuff again, he asked to! , I was a bit sad. If its what he claims to be true, then his life is a complete mess. I seriously don't know what to think! 1. A guy in real world claims he is crazy about me, I can see it in his eyes that he didn't lie about it. No, I don't say it because I want to live in a fanstasy world, You just see when someone is into you and feel it 2. He showed me million times by his actions he is into me, he is really generous to me in a real world and treats me like a princess in front of his brother/friends and everybody else. 3. When we are together he is amazing and respectfull BUT 4. When he left and moved he always claims he is extremly busy. 5. He does always respond to me, but he doesn't initiate contact, so I pull away and just vanish. 6. As I said above when I want him to be honest with me, he doesn't want to leave me. He wants to stay in touch, he wants me to be around, he just claims he has no time to dedicate it directly to me, but come on if you like someone so muuuuch as you claim then would you leave a girl on hold for 2 months not wanting to send one bloody text message hey baby, are you ok??? Sorry I know I wrote a whole mess. I just don't know what to do. I was direct and honest with him for the first time in my life. He does not want to let me go! I am completely insane, I know he IS NOT THAT INTO ME and that I need to move on!! BUT I am starting to have insane thoughts about this whole thing: Is it possible that men cave, vanish, test women they are madly in love" with? Is he doing tests on me making his job as an excuse not to contact me? Seriously is he testing me to see how much I really care? I mean no contact for 2,3 months that is just wierd and then to come back like nothing changed. I know things are different then most of normal "dating", because he is not HERE in my town, he is not avaliable when I want him to be, he doesn't live in my time zone, I'd be gone with the wind long time ago if he was ignoring me like this in 50 miles radius. Whats the point of him to string me along? It doesn't make sense. He can't have sex with me when he wants to , so there is no point. If you know what I want to say.
Author Vallez Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) P.S. As I said he used to be online on MSN 24/7 avaliable there, he never initiated contact. You can type a text/call someone, it takes 5 seconds, just to ask someone how he/she is. Ok, I can understand texting is lame, mostly I don't respond to him in 10 minutes periods, I don't hear calls because my phone is on mute and I told him before I can't talk at work. I was also a bit bitchy to him on moments, playing hard to get, also ignoring him on moments, but it was a reaction to his action. But still, he is a man, f....ing call me if you want to, I do not call men 3 times in a row. Strike 3 you are out!! I never showed him how much I like him, untill my last email, well I wrote it. I didnt show it off! What should I repond? If he is not a serial liar I feel guilt and for all stuff he wrote me that happened to him. I want to belive to all he claims, but its kind of hard, feels a bit naive. But then again if he is an ass....I think he would not reply anything at all if he didn't care at all. He could of continue ignoring forever as he was doing fine already. Is he seriously testing me out to see how serious I am about him or....? I mean its kind of hard to belive when you find someone amazing, but who lives miles away. It doesn't make sense in future, no point. I am completely aware of this issues. God help me, I am such a messsss right now I have million questions!!!! Dammit I'll start writing a blog.... Edited March 4, 2013 by Vallez
clia Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Is it possible that men cave, vanish, test women they are madly in love" with? Men do sometimes "cave," but usually not for two months. Is he doing tests on me making his job as an excuse not to contact me? I don't think so. I think he doesn't want a long distance relationship with you. Seriously is he testing me to see how much I really care? No, he doesn't want a long distance relationship with you. I mean no contact for 2,3 months that is just wierd and then to come back like nothing changed. He didn't "come back." You contacted him. He blocked you. You sent him an emotional e-mail. He felt bad. He responded ten days later, but essentially blew you off by telling you he is too busy. I know things are different then most of normal "dating", because he is not HERE in my town, he is not avaliable when I want him to be, he doesn't live in my time zone, I'd be gone with the wind long time ago if he was ignoring me like this in 50 miles radius. Then why is it any different since he is so far away? Most people don't want to date someone they barely know long distance, no matter how they might've felt about that person when they were in proximity. Whats the point of him to string me along? He isn't stringing you along. He went for two entire months without talking to you, and only responded when you guilted him into it via an emotional e-mail. You should move on from this guy and find someone who lives near you.
Author Vallez Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 (edited) Men do sometimes "cave," but usually not for two months. I don't think so. I think he doesn't want a long distance relationship with you. No, he doesn't want a long distance relationship with you. He didn't "come back." You contacted him. He blocked you. You sent him an emotional e-mail. He felt bad. He responded ten days later, but essentially blew you off by telling you he is too busy. Then why is it any different since he is so far away? Most people don't want to date someone they barely know long distance, no matter how they might've felt about that person when they were in proximity. He isn't stringing you along. He went for two entire months without talking to you, and only responded when you guilted him into it via an emotional e-mail. You should move on from this guy and find someone who lives near you. Thanks for the reply, yes you are right about those facts like I am, there is no need to someone to point it out again! I'd think the same thing if I were not myself, seriously...I mean I do think like this too, but trust me this guy doesn't make any sense, he is not logic: 1. Feeling guilt or not if we didn't talk for 2 months (both of us) what is the point replying to someone that you like them very much, apologizing in the whole email how busy you actually are/were and adressing that you hope and you want them in your life when your life settles down, writing kisses and smileys back and fort! 2. If I was him and some chick was crazy about me, I'd never ever reply to her, I'd leave it alone. Especially if I didn't wrote anything when she congratulated me my bday which was in mid Feb. (I sent him bday wish text 2 weeks ago.) 3. Look reason I sent my email and this closure was for myself, I didnt think he will answer me at all, but he did eventually. Look I was direct with this guy I was brutally honest and I made it clear that he doesn't owns me any responce or anything. I said goodbye and that I am 100% fine with it! My logic sense says he did not need to answer me anything especially if he felt any guilt! 4. Yes, I think he blocked me, since he is offline, but I never ever molested him on MSN, I never sent any instant messages and gave him any reason to. We never communicated there, almost never. So, since he vanished offline that day, I sent him my 2nd email. I was drunk Those are just facts in my eyes, I still don't understand fact no.1 after all this "blocking", lying about not getting my email, playing dumb for a week. Why sudden change by 360 degrees?!?!?! He could of keep ignoring me...Not to come back to persue me, claiming he is into me. I said goodbye, that was suposed to be end of a story! But NO he comes back, wtf? Maybe he really didnt get my email, maybe he uninstalled MSN all of the sudden But doubt it.... I'd really like to know what hit this guy in his head to spin around by 360 degrees and change his mind about me! I am sure it was not guilt or compassion, or feeling sorry for me! As I said he could of continue to be an ******* Edited March 5, 2013 by Vallez
clia Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 He could of keep ignoring me...Not to come back to persue me, claiming he is into me. What exactly is he doing to pursue you? The only thing I see in your posts is that he responded to your e-mail. That isn't pursuing.
Author Vallez Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 What exactly is he doing to pursue you? The only thing I see in your posts is that he responded to your e-mail. That isn't pursuing. I don't know. He responded with a lots of kisses, smileys, calling me darling, love blah, blah, blah. Making a lots of exuses why we don't communicate much lately. Guess when person is in love or somethings hold on to every little detail. Love makes us go nuts! No worries, I talked to my best guy friend today, he listened to me and I showed him my emails. He told me that I beat around the bush so much and that I didnt exactly told him I like him more then a friend directly, that I am to sustained. Never mind he gave me a good advice and told me the only way I can solve this issues is to respond to him and to be direct and to say that I have a crush on him and ask him if he feels the same way. Short, brief and clear. As a person outside the bubble he told me I play too much games That I say I like him, then I tell him he is my friend, then I say I'm sad with this whole situation and that men don't read between the lines! I don't know what to do? I have no balls to do it. Lol teenage trauma, like in highschool. But I think I'll go for it I have nothing to loose but my "ego"
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