newsbug Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I'm just on here to vent. I was so out of it yesterday that I went ahead and called into work today. So far I haven't been able to do anything but cry today. I woke up around noon and couldn't stop crying so I went back to sleep and woke up around 4. Still I can't stop the water fall. I feel pathetic. My brother is here and I feel horrible that this is the state that I am in. I just don't know how to be normal again. I loved him so much and we were so happy...how could he just leave me, just like that? He told me he loved me so much and I was the best this that ever happened to him and nothing would take him away from me. How can he just go on with his life as if we were nothing? I just don't get it. My best friend is trying to plan a weekend away to the beach for later this month just to give me something to cheer me up and even that makes me cry. I wasn't supposed to have to ever plan a trip or travel without him. All beach trips should be with him now, not me going alone. I have my car in the shop and this isn't something I should be having to deal with...he should be helping me. I wasn't supposed to be alone anymore, but I am, and I don't know how to be okay with this. I don't know how to stop crying. I was doing okay at trying to numb last week, but now I feel like I'm losing my mind. My brother keeps putting on funny movies, but nothing is funny. Everything is just there. I'm just here and I have to keep living and trying to act like I'm normal even though I'm not. I'm broken and I wish I could just be broken. I want him back...I want us back. It's not fair to be so happy one day and then have it all taken away from you then next.
Recommended Posts