Coping Vortex Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 As I sit here on NC I think about all of the things that dumpers say to us dumpees. I find it an interesting study in sociology. Even though most of us are different ages, different backgrounds, different heritages, different customs, from different countries, different personalities, dumpers seem to have a pretty select of breadcrumbs or sayings that are universal to everyone. Although not a 100% consistent it is very close. So I decided to list a few that came my way during my latest BU. 1. I'm not in love with you, just the memory of you. 2. Its not you it's me. 3. I need to find out who I am 4. We're not over just on hold (or on a break) 5. I'm not into him/her as much as you think 6. I want to be friends. (Stay in touch.) 7. I will always love you. 8. He or she is not you. 9. I'm not giving up on us 10. It isn't the same with the BF/GF, just different. 11. I don't spend as much time with him/her as you think. 12. I met him/her AFTER we BU. 13. I never cheated on you. 14. Sex with you was way better. 15. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now. Please feel free to add your own common sayings by the Ex, AKA the Dumper.
RiceaRoni Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 My ex told me 2 & 3 oh and that he wanted to stay single for awhile and enjoy highschool...yeah right. Picked up a new girlfriend in 3 weeks and has been with her since. And also told me he didn't want to be "tied down"
Author Coping Vortex Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 My ex told me 2 & 3 oh and that he wanted to stay single for awhile and enjoy highschool...yeah right. Picked up a new girlfriend in 3 weeks and has been with her since. And also told me he didn't want to be "tied down" Yes another good one. I guess I was thinking more of sayings that were breadcrumb like and not so much in your face I don't want to be with you. More the leading on sayings. False hopes. 1
RiceaRoni Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Oh okay I see what you mean...well the first one my ex told me was "I need space" and so I waited and waited until he told me the break would be permanent
Amelie1980 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I can't give you what you want. My heart says yes, my head says no. 1
Amelie1980 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 For the moment I can't be with you. It may be the biggest mistake I ever make. 2
Amelie1980 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Or "you deserve better" my personal favourite.......! I told him that was a cop out. 1
na49 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 2. Its not you it's me. 3. I need to find out who I am 4. We're not over just on hold (or on a break) 5. I'm not into him/her as much as you think 6. I want to be friends. (Stay in touch.) 7. I will always love you. 8. He or she is not you. 13. I never cheated on you. 15. I have a lot of stuff going on in my life right now. I heard all of these. also gotta love "You're a great guy, you'll find someone who will really love you one day" 2
ScienceGal Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I ping ponged back and forth with ex, but ultimately we both just walked away and didn't contact each other. One of the last things I asked was "why do you always lie to me?" He replied "I don't know, I think one thing but something else comes out of my mouth." Seriously?! Next... I also particularly liked when he said "I wish I had my sh*t together so we could be together." That's when I knew it was doomed. 2
RiceaRoni Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 my personal favourite.......! I told him that was a cop out. It is a cop out! Like seriously? They say "you deserve better" but the translation is "I think i deserve better" 2
Amelie1980 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 It is a cop out! Like seriously? They say "you deserve better" but the translation is "I think i deserve better" Or they know they we deserve someone else who really loves us! 1
na49 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 It is a cop out! Like seriously? They say "you deserve better" but the translation is "I think i deserve better" so frustrating... :mad: 1
RiceaRoni Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 It's like I wouldnt be with you if I thought I deserved better lol that's why I see it as such a cop out
Amelie1980 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 It's like I wouldnt be with you if I thought I deserved better lol that's why I see it as such a cop out True! Very true.
New2Love4Now Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Some of the ones I got... "You deserve so much better than me" wtf? A variation of "it's not you it's me" "I just can't do this right now" 1
Drummerboy420 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I'm going through a first time break-up out of a serious relationsship (6 years), but this is not her first rodeo. She has been on both ends of the spectrum from previous relationships. Here's the things I've heard.. 1) I love you but it's not the same kind of love anymore (Seriously, what?) 2) I'm still drawn to you, I still have feelings for you, but I can't give you my heart right now 3) You're my best friend, I adore you, you've been my constant companion for so long. I don't want to lose you in my life 4) *Her sobbing* I have nothing left for you (Regarding being in love with me) 5) You don't know what could happen down the road 6) I should know better than to get my hopes up. I'll just say or do something to mess it up, anyways (Talking about the new guy she just started seeing). 7) I feel for you. Ugh..
marklarsson Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 It is a cop out! Like seriously? They say "you deserve better" but the translation is "I think i deserve better" the though of most that are on GIGS. the selfishness just disgusts me when it comes to this. 1
RiceaRoni Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 the though of most that are on GIGS. the selfishness just disgusts me when it comes to this. well I don't know if a 17 year old boy can be a GIGS victim :/
Amelie1980 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 well I don't know if a 17 year old boy can be a GIGS victim :/ Totally...just starting out and wanting to play the field.
RiceaRoni Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Totally...just starting out and wanting to play the field. that stinks...I truly loved him, and now hes got a girl so similar to me its scary. not appearance wise but she and I do the same hobbies have the same likes. the similarities are strikingly the same, and he seems really happy with her..However I think she may be GIGS too, she left her ex for him. and him? he was actually going to stay single, til she approached him
StraylightRun24 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 "It's nothing that you did...." While I know she wasn't trying to be malicious or trying to hurt me when saying that it came across as, "It's just YOU." I flat out immediately told her that her saying that actually didn't make me feel any better, in fact it made me feel worse! Oh and anything about how they felt about a previous ex and how their feelings for you don't compare to those old feelings. That's a real slap to the face! Sadly that was also brought up in my recent BU.
clw Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 My ex told me; My heart is as heavy and sad as you.. I look at it countless times and cried ;/
robaday Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 7 months ago Please never contact me again, I want to forget you, move on 3 months later I miss you 5 months later I hate you you abusive ass-hole, my life is so much better without you, Ive met so many men who treat me wonderfully 5 months one day later Im hurting, you treated me with contempt 2 months two days later FXXXK me, Im horny At which point I told her I wasnt interested in anything to do with her. 1
SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted March 6, 2013 Posted March 6, 2013 That stung a little to read this post. The dumper in my case said some of those things and it hit me back with it... It's not you, it's me.... I just need time right now. I need to work on myself... I just have a lot going on in my life right now... *Stings 1
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