iKING Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I know, right? I think dating a virgin isn't really all that great. I may agree with you that this is a small concern (the whole "Oh, she enjoys drinking now! She's becoming more sexually comfortable. Is she going to feel like she needs to break out to make up for lost time?" thing), but it's still one I have and I would imagine others might be in the same situation/have some experience with. Been there twice, didn't turn out well either time. My fault however, not theirs.
Author mordor Posted March 4, 2013 Author Posted March 4, 2013 If she was that devout to her religious dogma, no, probably not. Sex isn't guaranteed suddenly make you immoral. I've seen girls who waited until marriage and stayed faithful. That is, so far, and from the outside not knowing for sure. I agree. I don't think sex makes someone immoral. But just in my own experience, when I first had sex I wanted to have MORE. And not necessarily with the same person. Of course, I was also 17. I guess that's my point. I feel as if it's possibly "breaking the seal," in a way. You know what I mean? She started drinking casually, then more socially, then got drunk. Now, don't get me wrong, we aren't alcoholics. We do enjoy drinking with our friends and out at bars, but this is something she wouldn't have done 1.5 years ago. Then she develops in interest in seeing what pot is like. See what I mean? What happens with the sex "seal" is broken?
iKING Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I agree. I don't think sex makes someone immoral. But just in my own experience, when I first had sex I wanted to have MORE. And not necessarily with the same person. Of course, I was also 17. I guess that's my point. I feel as if it's possibly "breaking the seal," in a way. You know what I mean? She started drinking casually, then more socially, then got drunk. Now, don't get me wrong, we aren't alcoholics. We do enjoy drinking with our friends and out at bars, but this is something she wouldn't have done 1.5 years ago. Then she develops in interest in seeing what pot is like. See what I mean? What happens with the sex "seal" is broken? I do know what you mean, like I said, been there, done that, twice. One didn't go quite as wild as the other. If you stay with her and keep an eye on her, it could go differently. The reason my advice won't help you here is I didn't stay with either of them, but they didn't go wild until after I left. One really didn't go too wild however, just normal wild if there is such a thing. We were also pretty young so that could have something to do with it.
Estate Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Hmm. Possibly. You might have a point. I don't think it's "bad". I mean, she definitely admits that she's just now "discovering" her sexuality, and discovering alcohol, bars, being in her mid-20's, so-to-speak. My question is if it's a reason for concern when someone begins to "discover" their sexuality (and subsequently how much they ENJOY it) during the course of your relationship? Is there no room for concern that this newfound discovery will lead to your partner wondering what sex is like with others? There's nothing wrong with that... she's growing up and experiencing life and the world around her... she's a late bloomer... buit again, she's not doing anything everyone else isn't doing. I don't see the red flag. The only way it COULD go downhill is if you try to keep her in this good girl role. I don't know if she wants sex, but if she does, her boyfriend should be there for her... not making her feel bad about it.... if she feels that way then yes, it could go wrong. But why not help her enjoy her new found lease on life and enjoy it with her... 2
camillalev Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I just read your other thread about her dating you and her long distance boyfriend at the same time and you considering taking her virginity and dumping her. Your relationship sounds extremely messed up. I'm sorry that that happened to you though. As for her 'going bad' there are worse things people can do than drink and experiment with drugs. Like other people have pointed out, she's a late bloomer and is exploring the world around her. Once people decide to change, there's no holding them back. Like Warhol said, “When people are ready to, they change. You can't make them change if they don't want to, just like when they do want to, you can't stop them.” She will either explore her sexuality with you, someone she has built a relationship with, or she will go out, screw her brains out and sow her wild oats. You wont be able to control which path she takes or predict with 100% accuracy. Given what she's already said about having sex with other dudes.. doesn't sound great. Either way this relationship sounds extremely unhealthy.
Archgirl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 In response to the tread title: ME. Oh bollocks Kiwi, girls like you an me ain't never been good we're just hell good at being baaad 1
sweetkiwi Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Oh bollocks Kiwi, girls like you an me ain't never been good we're just hell good at being baaad Girl, I used to get dumped all the time because I didn't kiss. But I think you're right. I was just afraid to go down the rabbit hole.... 1
AverageCat Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Lol dude chill out. She wants to try marijuana.... oh no.... she's like 99% of young people today... what a bad girl. I know that when good girls go "a bit bad", it's a turnoff for most guys, since they hold her to such a high standard of purity... but guess what they're human beings too. Try to be a guidance to her in this transition. I think everyone should experiment with their lifestyle a bit, to see what's on the other side, but that doesn't mean they'll necessarily like it. Remember the grass is always greener on the other side... unless you actually go and step on it and you're smart enough to realize it's just ****ing GRASS. So if you trust her mind and intelligence you should have nothing to worry about. And **** her already PLEASE.
baRx Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 (edited) I didn't dream up the word tainted, it's in your post, and yes you did suggest it, in a giggly way. Don't worry, I'm done here, you can't even remember you said tainted. The OP never said "tainted" John Stiles did in his reply. Just saying. The impression the OP is giving off, comes across as this girl is now "tainted" because she's getting into the party lifestyle at a much older age than most people. She appears to be giving up her religious beliefs and is getting into a more exciting type of lifestyle. However, to the OP: this clearly isn't your girlfriend. Find a new one, dude. Seems that this is going nowhere fast, from the former long distance boyfriend, to you wanting to revenge-f&ck her, and from her getting into a different lifestyle. Seems to me that a brick wall is coming. Edited March 5, 2013 by baRx
Recommended Posts