yolo Posted September 5, 2004 Posted September 5, 2004 BO in past I am a woman who had body odor, due to a medical condition, in the past. I have worked hard to get my health back and it was no walk in the park. However, the harsh treatment which I received from others due to this problem has scarred me, for life I believe. No guy who knows of me would ever date me and the way some of them treat me is reminiscent of being on a school playground. Nobody plays with me, if you get my drift. And they laugh at and sneer at me openly, publicly, in groups. So, while in another city I met a guy who has no idea about my past. I have been having a Long distance relationship with him. I know the rumor will get to him, if not to him, certainly to his friends and family members. I figure they may not tell him if they hear it, but only try to get rid of me in an undercover (cruel) way AND ridicule him (his friends). I am scared witless remembering how everyone else treated and continue to treat me. I'm just afraid that a) I'm misleading him. I am attractive, but he doesn't know that I'm a basically a joke to many men. b) He'll feel betrayed by me, misused and scarred. c)Other women will judge him in the future for having dated me. d) he won't want to be seen with me anywhere. He'll be ashamed of me. I have experienced moving to another city and know that it only takes one person to start rumors and put their spin on something. Most don't seem to care that it was a medical condition anyway. It's just hilarious to everyone, dehumanizing to me. And I know how quickly everybody just join in the fun of behaving badly toward me. If not for a desire for a relationship, I could live just fine with the harassment, but I do want a relationship and I do feel like I am in a desperate position. I also don't want him to feel that I am desperate. How can I survive a relationship? Very Insecure
pixie2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Past is past. You can't live with your one foot in tomorrow and the other in yesterday - You'll miss TODAY. What I'm trying to say is... You can't live your future life if you keep looking back at the future. I don't think you should tell him anyway - and if he asks you about it (hearing rumours) you can say - oh is that what the people say...mmm.. i did have a medical condition way back sometime last year, but it something in the past now and i really did not think of that for a long time..mmm... strange you talking about that now. Just be very matter-of-factly cause indeed it is nothing to worry about!!! And it is no-one's business!!! If he does care about that or act strangely when he know about that - he is so not the right one for you. I would not mind if any of my friends have an odour. Everyone's feet smell anyway!
yolo Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Thank you, I really don't want to tell him. I feel like I'm apologizing for my existence or something. I just want to go on with my life. AND sorry for the double post everyone. I first posted without registering so the moderators would have to approve the message first. That would have taken the whole weekend and it did. So anyway, I registered and went ahead and posted the message myself. And now the moderator/administrator has posted the other one.
pixie2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 NO you should not apologise for anything. That was something that happened to you "in your past" and you should take something POSITIVE from the experience such as - you can be stronger - don't take anything for granted - do not be fooled by your friends/people you know
Papillon Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Past is past. You can't live with your one foot in tomorrow and the other in yesterday - You'll miss TODAY. If you live with the one foot in yesterday, and the other in tommorrow, you'll PISS all over today, too
pixie2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Posted September 6, 2004 Good one Pap, I always find it hard to remember these expressions!!!!!
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