southernsweetie16 Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 My best friend's mother hates me. I'm a full-time college student, and because I drive home (about an hour) two or three times a week to see my family, my friends, and attend a martial arts class, she claims I'm lazy, wasting money, and several other things. She is also accusing me of lying about my job. This man who is my best friend is 24, and still lives with her. I accused him of letting her control his life when he began "hiding" the fact that we hang out. We have been caught together, so his mom knows that he has lied about me, and that makes her dislike me more. She is accusing him of choosing me over her. He came over the other night, and left three hours early because his sister called and asked him to run an errand, and he had no excuse for not doing the errand, since they would have been upset with them had they known he was with me. He is very mad at me for what I said about his mom, and told her what I said. I apologized, and things are okay with us, but his mom still dislikes me. She is also accusing me of starting drama. I really, really, really care about this man. And before all of this, loved his mom as well. I have no idea what I did to start all of this, but I do know I'd like to make an effort to fix it. My friend won't let me talk to her, even though she wants to talk to me, too (just for different reasons- she wants to tell me exactly what she thinks of me and tell me to leave my friend alone, and I want to fix everything). I'm considering a handwritten note apologizing for however I wronged her, delivered with some cookies from a local deli. After reading this post, it seems like I'm fighting a lost cause, but like I said, I care about this man, and just want to fix things. I want to prove to this woman that I am not a bad person, because I'm really not. I'm a full time college student, I work out, I have a job, and I help my mom out, because my dad died recently. I have a lot on my plate, and I haven't done anything wrong. I can't lose my friend over this. Any comments/suggestions?
FitChick Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 You and your friends are both adults. Who cares what his mother thinks? Find her a boyfriend on POF.
KathyM Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I think you're fighting a lost cause. If his mother's concerns are totally bogus, and have no validity, then she is just resenting you for the fact that you are important to her son. If he is not willing to stick up for you and set boundaries with his mother and family, then he is not worth having as a friend either. 1
2sure Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I understand that you know and care about the whole family and would like to reconcile any differences or misconceptions. But youre not really sure what is wrong. So - I dont see writing an apology is going to do more good than harm. If the Mom wants to talk to you and you want to talk to her - why not??
onlyjs Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 I think you should go with your first instincts. you care about the guy. you don't know what his mom's problem is, but you want things to just sit right. write a hand-written note, be totally polite in the note, don't say anything like, "I don't know why you hate me," or "I hope everything is OK between us," Just say - something short and sweet and send the cookies. That way, you made everything right on your side. Then if she continues to behave like a pet, it will be on her, not you. Then wash your hands of it. Good luck.
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