AKisBaked Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 Me and my ex havent talked in a long time but just not too long ago, we actually started to talk again on a normal level without any arugments and getting emotional with each other. Things for going good, that's what I thought. The more we talked she started to mention stuff about our relationship and she said that she wants to get back together because she feels that after this "break" she feels that things can work out again. We first intially broke up was because she says I took her for granted and I didn't pay attention to her. But on my side of things, she is the one who started to change towards me, she started to become distant, ignoring me and just plain stopped caring about me. But this is not the point right now. So I guess we've gotten close again and my feelings toward her have grown and have a sense of "chance" to hopefully getting this relationship to work this time. But I know she's been seeing some guy and I already asked her who he was, and she always keeps telling me that he is only a "FRIEND." Through the power of social media and FB, I've been able to see pictures of them together and they act like they are a couple. One picture the guy was so close to here face and pretending to bite her (trying to be cute or something......) so that really bothered me. And when I mentioned stuff about this guy and asked why is she so close to him, she repeatly just says that I am overreacting and theres nothing going on between him and her. They are just friends, and they are close because he has connections to nutrient supplements for exercise... that doesn't work for me.... So I have a feeling that she is really trying to keep her relationship with this guy but at the same time she doesn't want to lose me so she puts on her 2 face act. May I say she doing a hell of a good acting job if she is. This has been REALLY bothering me, so just talked to her a day ago and she asked me if she could borrow money from me because she said that she was in a bit of a hole because she is in the process of switching jobs and she needs some money to pay for her bills and other extra curricular things shes doing on the side. She doesn't want to ask her parents because she doesn't want them to know she had already quit her job she is currently at and it wont be awhile until she starts her new job. But she had asked her sister and she said she would lend her some money in the meant time but she would only lend her only a little bit, so she came to me asking if she could lend money from me. She told me that she wouldn't want to lend money from me because she would feel bad and plus she's asking "me, her ex" to lend her money. So I had agreed to loan her the money that she needed and I expect her to pay me back when she gets back the money. So yesterday I went to see her to spend time with her, we orignally had agreed to meet up that day a while back. So i had gave her the money that she had requested, and we just started to talk about us and everything. Suddenly, the conversation had shifted to something about her sister and how she was dealing with her divorce a while back and she was telling me how her sisters ex-husband is seeing someone new and etc. So she has been staying over at her sisters place alot more often to keep her sister company. And I asked her, when I call her she never picks up or calls me back. And she reverses what I say, saying that SHE does call me. But realistically its not true because on my phone its only me that is calling her. I havent received a call back from her in awhile everytime I call her. So she showed me her phone and this is where I got really ticked off.. My contact name on her phone was re named to "PERRY" and not my original name. I asked her wtf is up with that? And her response was she doesn't want her sister to know that she and I are starting to talk on a regular basis and starting to date again when things with her sister and the divorce is still fresh, so pretty much doesn't want to give her sister more stress about things... but at the same time she told her sister that I loaned her money temporarly..... Plus her phone has a PIN CODE so how the f*ck is her sister going to know who she talks to? I don't think her sister is that freakishly sneaky to go into her own sisters phone to try to see who's she talking to...... And what does it matter to her sister in what goes on between me and my ex? I see it as I have nothing to do with her sisters divorce what so ever so why is she being so secrative in renaming me on her phone? So im pretty pissed off that I was renamed to someone else name. But I really think she did this because she doesn't want the other guy that she claims to say is her "FRIEND" to know she is talking to me. So pretty much she's double timing both of us but I do have a sense and feeling that she is doing that exactly to me.... So I'm having alot of second thoughts in loaning her the money and the whole relationship in tryin to make things work... Please someone just give me the honest truth. Or any feedback.. this is really bothering me. Thanks LS memebers! :)
missmac Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 Sounds like that bitch is tryna have her cake and eat it too.....she is keeping you at arms length just in case things don't work out with that guy. Sounds like they ARE just friends, but I think she might be trying to see if they could be more than that - but because she doesn't know for sure? You are her plan B. My advice to you is NEVER: Let yourself be someone's plan B, or back up planDo anything for someone that compromises your dignityLet anyone take away your self respectLend money to ANYONE (Exes, friends, parents - lending can cause HUGE problems)Let anyone play on your heartstrings or manipulate your feelings for their gain She told me that she wouldn't want to lend money from me because she would feel bad and plus she's asking "me, her ex" to lend her money. Yet she asked you anyways..... so she can't feel that bad. I don't know what the hell is going on with her sister - but from that entire paragraph sounds like a big load of bull**** to me.... anytime someone continues to make or come up with excuses (especially really detailed excuses or problems "going on") its usually just a tactic to buy themselves more time to do whatever they need to do.... in this case - find out if that guy would ever be interested in her. DONT lend her money QUIT letting her smooth talk her way back in to your life STOP being a chump I feel like you know all this already, you just need someone to confirm your thoughts. Good luck, and go find someone who has more respect for themselves and you, to not pull any shady **** behind your back -Kaleigh 1
TaraMaiden Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 can't say it better than missmac. Never, ever Go Back if there are things that wave red flags in your face. Dump her. See how quickly this guy moves up to numero uno again. Next day probably....
veggirl Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 shoulda told her to ask facebook guy for the money. I bet you'll either never see that money again or once she pays you back you will never hear from her again. I would get IN WRITING the amt she owes you and a payback schedule. signed by you both.
Author AKisBaked Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 Sounds like that bitch is tryna have her cake and eat it too.....she is keeping you at arms length just in case things don't work out with that guy. Sounds like they ARE just friends, but I think she might be trying to see if they could be more than that - but because she doesn't know for sure? You are her plan B. My advice to you is NEVER: Let yourself be someone's plan B, or back up planDo anything for someone that compromises your dignityLet anyone take away your self respectLend money to ANYONE (Exes, friends, parents - lending can cause HUGE problems)Let anyone play on your heartstrings or manipulate your feelings for their gain Yet she asked you anyways..... so she can't feel that bad. I don't know what the hell is going on with her sister - but from that entire paragraph sounds like a big load of bull**** to me.... anytime someone continues to make or come up with excuses (especially really detailed excuses or problems "going on") its usually just a tactic to buy themselves more time to do whatever they need to do.... in this case - find out if that guy would ever be interested in her. DONT lend her money QUIT letting her smooth talk her way back in to your life STOP being a chump I feel like you know all this already, you just need someone to confirm your thoughts. Good luck, and go find someone who has more respect for themselves and you, to not pull any shady **** behind your back -Kaleigh Thanks for your input about all this and I do agree with alot of things of what your saying. I don't understand her analogy in her sisters situation and why would it affect us. I can see it can potentially effect her in some way.. but how does it involve me? And the name change and stuff is just retarded... I believe so, that she is trying to use me as a Plan B incase if it doesn't work out with the guy. I have already asked her straight up what's the deal, and she repeatedly says they are just "friends." She just met this guy like 2 weeks after we broke up for crying out loud... and now she's super close to him and saying their just friends?! That's bullsh*t...... I don't plan on speaking to the guy ever and also I don't even think he know's about me.... so pretty much she can be doubling timing both of us if anything. Because I really think she doesn't want the other guy to know that she is talking to me so thats why she renamed me on her phone incase if he asks her who is she talking to.... I need to draw the line and f*ck this sh*t because if i keep dragging this out eventually its going to turn ugly.
Author AKisBaked Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 shoulda told her to ask facebook guy for the money. I bet you'll either never see that money again or once she pays you back you will never hear from her again. I would get IN WRITING the amt she owes you and a payback schedule. signed by you both. That's what I thought so too. If she needed the money why didn't she ask the new guy to help her out instead. She said she really didnt want to ask me for money and that it would be the last resort if her sister wouldn't help her out because already mentioned earlier.... her own parents are out of the question.... Ya i have already thought that through, that i may never see the money returned to me. Pretty much this is a drawing the line / make it or break it scenario for me.. because you said it clearly. If i get the money back most likely she wont talk to me after that. Or if she doesn't return the money she can also just continue play the game.
StarsOnFire Posted March 5, 2013 Posted March 5, 2013 I'm sorry, but it really does sound like you're being used. Please don't lend her the money, something just seems completely off about this situation. And it really doesn't seem like she's proving she wants you in her life, besides to ask you for money, with not returning your phone calls and changing your name in her phone and whatnot. You're so right, why would her sister even snoop through her phone, the only reason she would change your name is to hide you from another guy. Who knows if there's more dudes in this situation too. She's put you in such a hard spot, asking for money from you. If she really did care about you, I think she'd first spend her time proving she wants you back in her life and to show she actually cares about you (esp seeing as right before you guys broke up she seemed to have turned off emotion towards you), before jumping right into asking about money. Please don't let her use you!
Author AKisBaked Posted March 5, 2013 Author Posted March 5, 2013 I'm sorry, but it really does sound like you're being used. Please don't lend her the money, something just seems completely off about this situation. And it really doesn't seem like she's proving she wants you in her life, besides to ask you for money, with not returning your phone calls and changing your name in her phone and whatnot. You're so right, why would her sister even snoop through her phone, the only reason she would change your name is to hide you from another guy. Who knows if there's more dudes in this situation too. She's put you in such a hard spot, asking for money from you. If she really did care about you, I think she'd first spend her time proving she wants you back in her life and to show she actually cares about you (esp seeing as right before you guys broke up she seemed to have turned off emotion towards you), before jumping right into asking about money. Please don't let her use you! Thanks for the help! appreciate it, and I do believe myself that I am being manipulated and used by her now because the stuff she says doesn't make sense. She just talks alot to make it seem true and try to convince me that it is true. And if I ask her a question back she gets defensive and upset. That I KNOW is her counter defense in lying to me, because she doesn't want to get caught. Ya as i mentioned before I am in a situation where its either I make it or break.
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