Hosea Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 She was my first and only girlfriend.. we were together for only 6 months. I'm 20 and she is 25. I dumped her last Saturday after I found out. But a part of me wants her back. I'm not going to take her back, but my heart yearns for the happy times that we used to share.. It started about a month ago. There was this guy she was always texting, calling her gorgeous and other pet names. When I asked who he was, and she would always get defensive about it. When I tried to pry even more, she claimed I didn't trust her. So I let it go. I wanted to spend V Day with her, but she said she made plans. That set off a red flag in my head, but I was still trying to trust her. We celebrated the day before actually - she got me a card and we had sex so I thought everything was fine. The following days after Valentine's Day, she seemed really distant. Fast forward to today, I find a facebook picture of her holding hands(locking fingers) with that guy. Her friends and her did go out on V Day, but she conveniently left out the fact that she brought a date - the guy that she had been texting. I demand to see her today, she says that they kissed, and I dumped her ass. Her birthday was actually on Thursday, and I had made her a photo album, wrote her a heartfelt card, and got her some of her favorite chocolates. I felt like a chump for getting her gifts after I found out, but I found a good use for it. I made her accept the gifts, and I read the card out loud to her and she made me stop reading it because I guess it hurt to hear it. She claims she didn't want to hurt me but that is a sack of horse**** and I don't believe it for a second. Later that night, I found out she couldn't even be honest with me when I broke up with her. I messaged the other guy on facebook. Apparently they have been having sex since Jan. He asked for proof that I was with her within the last 2 months; I showed him a picture of the v day card she gave me and some fb messages that confirm it. Oh, and then she texts me after she finds out I told him. "Never thought you could do something like that to me! I hate you!" The next day, I was still so angry I sent her a bitter message (mistake, I know). She replied by saying that there was something very important she had to tell me and that she had to see me in person. I ignored the message, but I am curious to what she has to say. A part of me wants to know, but I know what she has to say will most likely hurt me.. So back to the original question.. how can I get over her? I'm tired of feeling like crap all the time.
geegirl Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 It really doesn't matter what she has to say. It's not going to change the fact that she's a liar and a cheat. So, get that curiosity out of your head. How to get over her? You'll just have to do what's preached around here. NC. Betrayal is a very hard emotion to deal. It's one thing if a relationship just isn't working anymore, but when cheating and lying factors into your break-up, it makes it even worse to bear and get over. It's only been days. It is going to take a few months before you at least start to feel some balance in your life. All you can do is stop contacting her. If you can block her number. If you truly want to get over her, you have to remove the possibility of you getting sucked back in. No triggers. No FB. No Twitter. No text messages. No calls. You don't want to be with someone like this, and while your head knows that, but at a time when you are emotional, it would be hard to trust yourself to make right decisions.
Thunderchild Posted March 4, 2013 Posted March 4, 2013 (edited) Just keep on ignoring her. Remember once a cheater always a cheater - you are well rid. Heal and move on. My ex cheated on me at christmas and is now pregnant with his baby. It hurt like hell for about a week, but the realisation that 1) she cheated - I can never trust her 2) She made all the excuses - she is unable, unwilling or incapable of taking responsibility for her actions (who the h*ll wants that in their life), 3) Looking at 2) she obviously has a very high degree of selfishness 4) she has a baby now - nothing else in the world matters to her, 5) she didn't want me in her life any more - don't try to stay where you're not wanted. She has been removed from my life. Permenant No Contact. Edited March 4, 2013 by Thunderchild
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